I do forgive you and myself as well
I also feel dumb
Not as much as I feel numb though
Everything seems to be going in reverse
One day I may go crazy
After seeing what happens with people in the same situation I no longer want to leave any spaces in my mind vacant
I can attract the wrong tenants
I could attract a bad ending
No vacancy

We shouldn't be upset with the ones who hurt us because after they hurt us they move on to the next victim
You will still be hurting after they have moved on
Forgive
Because most likely they will forget
They may not even know that they hurt you so you should learn to communicate it

Not everyone is going to understand you but there will be a select few
Some who will not say anything unless you are at risk
Some who will smirk
Some who will hiss
When you learn to love yourself, new beginnings arise
When you learn to love yourself, people will see it in your eyes

Trust me
When I say that you need to stop caring about what they think
You need to stop caring about what they think
Sometimes it is impossible to let go
But that is the only way
Happiness is always open just like a super Walmart
Learn to understand your own brain and your own heart
Let people in at your own risk
Teach people the way you are and show them that if they choose to leave then they will miss you tomorrow
Because they will
When you are so secure in yourself they will

The **** that I have to say to you will never come out right so I have to write
I can not cry
I can not even sing
There is no room to dance otherwise I'd be doing that
So I write
I’ll write tomorrow
I write tonight
I write for you
I write at you

When is the last time you wrote something?
Was it when you felt good?
Was it when everything seemed great?
Was it when you had a lot of food on your plate?
Or none at all?
What sparks your writer's bone?

A bunch of sad **** but let's get down to it
Nothing ever really mattered before you met me
I changed you and you let me
You did not like it at first but you slowly made it work
When it did you wanted me to have your first kid
Then you realized that we could not be forever
I was here to teach you a lesson
You were here to show me less than
We were here for a reason
Drunk or not

Should I apologize for hurting you?
The truth
I hurt you first
You hurt me first
I did not communicate it so you never knew
I felt as if you were fake but then you fought
That is what made you worthy
You stayed and that is what made you worthy
You are gone now
You are still worthy in my eyes

There is no feeling
There is no remorse
There is nothing that I have left to give to you
There is nothing I can say
I only have me

I feel no pain when i think of you but your friend did something to me
He made me feel but on the lowest key
I am so selfish
You know this
You are not the best kind of person and this day in age is to blame
Your heart is so great
You are amazing
The color of your skin
Your scent
I was crying when I met you
Now I'm dyin to forget you

I was humbled by love
The stubborn kind
The kind that wanted me when i did not
The kind that gave up. ... sort of
Until I was ready
When I was ready, it seemed as if it were too late
I was mistaken
Though he couldn't say it or show it
We both knew

did I really give up on this??

We often panic alone and in silence
Never do we try and quit the violence
We dress up and that is not enough to hide it
Everyone is fooled because they can't see inside us

I know you have a new love
However, I wish you the best
If you didn't find happiness in me
Maybe someone else will give it to you
As the flower, with so much love you gave me,
withered
I am leaving today I know how to lose
But it hurts so much
If you saw how it hurts to lose your love
I don't know if I can love again
Because I gave you all the love I could give

The feelings she put you on
You owe her one
Her love is powerful her love is strong
She wants you and loves you
She keeps you warm
She loves you and tells you that you're important

Struggling with the source
Struggling where the next turn will be
Only to realize that I control that decision

I want to keep writing because I do not want to lose this
Every now and then I feel it slipping
I can't control the way things go
I can control my decisions
I can control what mood I am in
Forever I will be at peace
No longer aggrumentative

Do what you must and your friends will adjust
And if they don't they aren't your friends and you should probably get away from them

save your money
you will soon be hungry

Trying to eat normally
That is what the girl in my medical class said
She also said that she was going to quit
She didn't
She didn't quit
She is still here
So is the other girl who said she was going back home
You look dumb
It shouldn't matter to you bu you look dumb
It matters to me because women should be free
Women should do as they say
Women should not stray away
From responsibility
And when times are grey

The first lines are so unexciting
Your words are not at all inviting
The way your imagination is set up
Pushes me away
On you, I will give up. I can't give me up
I am here to stay
Your lost words
Your hurt
Can keep their sour energy and turn grey
ok?

5 minutes feels like forever when we're waiting
and a few seconds when we're talking

I know that ***** better than I know that mind
I know your mind is probably amazing in so many ways
I bet there is adventure for days
I know you have to have something lovely up in there
I know that ***** drips when I speak to it
When I speak in tongues when I stick in my thumb
I don't know your mind
I do know your ***** is ******* fine

Got into writing and I can not stop doing it
How to undo all of this foolishness??
I'm taking my time
To write
To think

Good morning
Have a good day
I don't know if these cats are real or if they're fake
I lost my phone
I must have left it at your place by mistake

It's needed it's not a choice
Speak up let them hear your voice
Show your children that there is a way out
Show them on your own don't let them suddenly find out
Be honest from the start
Be open when it comes to that heart
Remember they need you
Don't forget about the time when you were a kid
Wanting everything and being able to get it
Give it to them
Give your all to them

Change
Change is good
Change is everything
It happens to your face when you sleep
It happens when we look at ourselves the first thing in the morning
When we see how fast the sun has come up
Everything changes
It's constant
It's needed

Everything is okay
It is okay to be okay
Just breathe and let it stay
Because for once, everything is okay

Has it really been five days?
I can always check
I just want to sit and act like I can't

Bless the world with your beauty
The world will bless you with it's love
The world will take care of you
The world will help you
You must help the world

Maybe men aren't for me
Looking back they have always gotten in the way of me being my raw true self
They have gotten in the way of making my dreams come true
They got in the way of my hard work
Of my education
Of my family
My friends
Me
And I let them

You came at a really strange time
My feelings were slipping
My everything was confused
I couldn't do anything
There you were
Staring at me
As I walked by
A cold mean stare
Preying on me
You looked hungry
You looked at me as if I was your next meal
Then you attacked
But I fought back so hard
I knew your game so I let you charge
I stayed focused the whole time
Understood every detail and didn't have hopes to make you mine
We got so far into it and then we crashed because you knew that what we had could never last
We tried to block each other it didn't work
I tried to call
You moved
You think that I don't know but I do
What will I do with you ?

There is clearly something about you that I haven't figured out yet
Of course everyone you meet will have their secrets
Everyone does
But yours is different
Yours is dark and I want to figure it out
I'm afraid if I do then we'd be through
We'd be done
I am so convinced that you are the one
You are the one for me
I'm sorry that I faked our family
I'm sorry that I lied to you

I have all day
God has given me the best kind of life
I am going to chase my dream
I am chasing my dream
I will do what I can to get where I want
To get where I need

The trick to writing is to write whatever and whenever

I think of the words the wise ones have told me
I think of the feeling that they gave to me
I think of the success
One day I'll be successful

Pushed myself in the small dark hole
Only to feel safe
No sound
No light
So comfortable
I take cover

I don't miss aunt Honey's ******* barbecues at Bear's house
I don't miss her OCD
I don't miss seeing her crown royal and sprite on my adoptive mother's counter
I don't miss her hatered towards toes
I don't miss her

Letters to the moon
She won't send them back
Letters to the moon

Because you're free to be you
You're free to do the things you need
If people hurt you then you're free to be mean

He pushed away
I pulled
Tomorrow we'll hang ? Ok
I pushed
He pulled me in
It was like a movie and
I couldn't help but grin
I actually liked it

He's fake
He wants this
He walks around pretending that this doesn't matter
Pretending that he can do better

I can feel that you are annoyed but it's only when other people are around
I have met so many men like you
This isn't my first rodeo down town
You're fake
You want to date

I love your profile
I love your hands
I love the kisses you give me in advance
I love your voice
Your fingers
Your hair
I love how persistent you are
I love that you're here

Do I love you ?
Do I want to spend the rest of my days with you?
Do you love me?
Is *** all that you want from me?

I want to say that I love you
It's so dumb to
I've loved too many people
How do I know if it's right with you?

To become more grounded
To become better
To become greater
To become amazing
More than what I already am
Meeting a much greater person than myself
Someone who has what I lack
Someone who is not breathing down my back
Thinking of the future
Making the future
Not being trapped
Not being dumb
Not giving into anyone

They look like love they feel like love
In reality they are not what we want
They are not what we need
We thought that they were our everything
Not everyone can stay and not everyone will leave
Anything done by force can ruin what's in store for you from the universe

What's worse than saying bad words? Saying you'll write a poem a day and forgetting you even said it.
Writing an email before you've even eaten your breakfast.
Stepping outside feeling and looking far too comfortable.
Feeling far too groggy
Looking like a straight *** when it is foggy.
You do want more for yourself and you will get that.
You will get everything you need but you just have to say it.
You have to think it before you can even say it.
I has to become a routine.
I has to be your everything.
You have to do everything that you said you are going to do
Because who you are is way more than what you are letting yourself become
You have got to be better than anyone who has ever doubted you
You have got to brush them off like tell them to shoo

Who are your friends?
That is who you are
Who do you want to be in your life?
Who do you want to stand up and fight
For you?
For what you believe in
Who can you rely on when you are grieving ?
Ask yourself who is there for you when you can not bend over and tie your own shoe
Ask who feeds you when there is no food on the shelf
When there is no shelf
When there is no bed
When there is no ceiling above your head when you are sleeping at night
Who is there to hold you tight?