Somedays I just want to close my eyes and never wake up. I want to live in my dreams. That's why I hate waking up. I can hold you in my arms in that world. Where as here... Somebody else gets to have you. In my dreams I'm still happy and in love.
Here I'm struggling to live through the pain.

100 years ago.
If we were this in love...
We would be married or atleast engaged by now.
We would understand the fact we're meant to be.
That our love is one to last lifetimes.
We would go with it and let our love thrive.
We wouldn't be worrying about anybody else.
We wouldn't be worrying about our future.
It would just be us.
We would let our love and happiness with each other be it all.
But it isn't 100years ago
Life is all about success and who you're going to be.
And at our ages...
In this century...
We can't be meant to be
Not currently anyways.
The way the world runs that's the worst thing we can ever do.
Sooo we can't be in love.
I'm going to have to stop acting like it.
But I **** well am not going to ever stop feeling it.
I am always going to love you.
Hopefully someday we will find our way back.
We will be meant to be again.
It just ***** that the world punishes those who find love so early now.
If we met 10 years from now...
Nobody would blink twice about how we feel and care.
But we're stuck with all this life everyone is telling us we have to live.
Lives that currently we can't live together.
I really just keep hoping for a time machine.
Or that you'll start not caring about what society says it takes to live.

Someday I'll be the person I want to be.
Someday I'll stand up for myself.
Someday I'll learn how to love myself.
Someday I'll get my own art gallery.
Someday I'll finish writing my book.
Someday I'll walk the louve.
Someday I'll go to Venice and Rome.
Someday I'll find true love again.
Someday I'll be actually happy.
Someday I'll be the person I'm meant to be.
And until then I'm okay.
I'll get there!
Someday...

For five seconds please think of me
When your eyes can't see anything but the bottom of the bottle
Try and see me
Feel my hands reaching out to you
When your tired eyes close but your legs still move
Plummeting towards pavement
I will catch you as you fall
When you tell me you're fine don't think I believe you
I can count the bottles missing from your bag

1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Stop
Please stop

Through the haze of smoke keep looking
Don't think I won't care
Don't think you're okay
I won't hate you
I don't hate you
Please stop
Listen to my voice in your head and follow
My hands are steady
As yours are not

You say you're alright as you giggle
Flip your hair, fix your dress
You're fine
But your legs shake as if the ground quakes below you
No you're not stupid
Call me and I will come
Cry and I will comfort
Nobody will hate you as much as you will in the morning
If you do call me I will take you home
Wherever you feel safe I'll go
Stop and think
When you wake up and ache up from your feet to your head
I will be there
I am there to care, laugh and tell you you're fine
Your mistakes were made
You can't go back
But the next time you stand on the cliff's edge
Teetering Towards Trouble
Turn around and run to me

I can see your bloodshot eyes
But I don't judge
I've got a heart to sympathize with and when you realize this
You won't feel lost

There was a time I didn't worry
Then again I had no reason
Now I have 5
I'm not your angel
I'm your friend
I'm a blur after ten drinks
But I am here
Whenever you need

1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Stop
And think of me

What has happened to all of us?
Our friendship use to mean something.
We weren't just friends.
We were family.
And now...
We're falling apart at the seems.
I miss what we use to be.
Can we all just go back?

Do you ever have those nights where you're laying in bed and all you want is someone to be there and hold you while you sleep?

Do you ever have those days were you're falling apart and all you want is someone to hold you while you cry?

I have them all the time.

*I just wish I had someone here to hold me.

It's okay to cry.
It's okay to be in pain.
It's okay to feel dead.
It's okay to want to scream.
It's okay to feel torn in half.
It's okay to not know how to survive.
It's okay.
Because you'll get through.
So in the mean time...
Cry.
Feel the pain.
Scream.
Spend hours ranting.
Do everything you need to.
Then get back up.
Someday you'll learn a new way to survive.
It will be okay.