we all grew up
differently than we intended
wild and tameless
until we got    
                      here
far from where we started off
but the familiarity still lingers
in old pictures
old faces
who haven't grown with us
those who have only lived to see
the beginning and the present
and the image of you that is expected
becomes shattered
and wiped clean
for you no longer represent those memories

hello, old friend
what was your name again?

When it all looks so final
totally banal
and the canal looks like a nice place to sleep
so cool and so deep
and it would keep you forever wrapped in its water
caught up
in a green swirl of a dream amidst the pike,carp and bream
that would nuzzle your nose
and pick at your toes
blowing bubbles
your troubles are but drizzle on the breeze
here and there gone tomorrow.

You don't get to see sorrow until you've been through the mill
paid the dues and wanted to **** yourself at least twice a week
and leaked blood from your eyes
when you've seen her out with several better looking guys
when you've prised off the top of your head and in bed when you can't even sleep.
Then
the canal does look so cool and so deep.
I keep a canal in my heart
it's been broken and I don't want to start looking for another place to sleep
so I keep and will keep it
bit by bit
it will drain away
and another day will begin.

Just another day to watch him and see her
and see that grin on his face.
but I'll show him how to grin in a deeper place
somewhere off the beaten track
he won't be coming back
but I will.

You think you're a badass?
Shout at us all for no reason?
Blame me for your problems like I give a ****?
Take it out on my family and expect US to be sorry?
Well *******, you and your weird *** hair do.
I never had a beef with you
I didn't even know you!
You believe what others say about me
Well come at me now what do you see?
Am I all that they said I was cracked up to be?
Get the ******* message, I don't mess around, you hear me?
Or do I have to bash your brains into the concrete?
Would that be enough to get the message across?
If I blew out your kneecaps out would I feel sorry for your loss?
Hell ******* no, I'd blow your **** legs off!
Wait, ***** that I,d take a handsaw and cut em off!
Break every single bone in your ******* hands
Smash em with a hammer without a second glance
call 911 now that you can't touch a **** phone!
how would you like it if I barged in your home?
Sayin I'm all that and the president too
Yell at your family and blame you too?
Like your haircut? Let's see it all over my wall!
Hold the phone ******* let's give your insides a house call!
Oops, was that your gut, let me rip it open for you
You won't need it after I get done with you.
*******, you thought that this would go down smooth?
**** that, drink some barbed wire too!
Let me tell you this just one last time
Make my girl cry again and I'll make you wish I'd killed you..

wouldst you in the mist of my confusion
have me become a white mosquito boy
that by a grafted tongue would
mould powerful changes
around bliss and ecstasy
that by garb and candor grafts defying gender roles
causes by his spaces openness
a sexuality, moulding, mounting new and explosive intimacies
and yet my fevered brain
hotter than the hottest summer
wishes to embrace  a white mosquitoe boy
become the cannibal of his dimensions
be subject to his unremarked experiments
Oh, will I become a native of these everyday practices
a white mosquitoe boy
evolving into a public ethic
a dangerously obscure central truth
the ink lies still wet on y confused thinking
while the white mosquitoe boys call me ” Le Mome”
shall I enter their grand boulevards
the ink drys, it speaks
its beautiful wondrous notation
says “YES”, yes it says, it says yes
you don’t become a mosquitoe boy
YOU ARE BORN ONE

I'm content
That doesn't mean I'm happy
I'm stable
That doesn't mean I'm ready
I'm sober
That doesn't mean I'm better
I'm not doing anything wrong
That doesn't mean I'm alright
I'm not crying
That doesn't mean I'm laughing
And yeah I've stopped calling you
That doesn't mean I've stopped needing you
Cause I get it
But that doesn't mean I want it

a yellow leaved flower
with a black mustache
and a very peculiar hat
well perhaps no to the flower
for it is after all on its head
then again the yellow leaved flower
may find the hat funny and well, most peculiar
and thus sports it in defiance of convention
for yellow leaved flowers it seems
are by law forbidden to wear hats
peculiar or otherwise.
how strange