I'm a ******
I don't do drugs or drink
my only flaw is how much I think
I don't believe in God but I believe in me
And I don't know where I belong on my family tree

I don't propose that **** is based on a girl's clothes
I suppose I'm dumb or brilliant but who really knows
You could say that I'm narcissistic or have low self-esteem
with a girlfriend with a pocketless pocket and a head full of dreams

Whoa that didn't flow, that last line
Imperfect effort seems to be an attribute of mine
Look at this rhyme scheme, it's so diverse
I guess I can get away with this; I couldn't get any worse
One favorite, three favorite, fifty-four
Give me validation, I could always use some more
Hello, Hellopoetry! You've been so forgiving
of my beautiful poetry that reflects an ugly way of living
Tell me, tell me: Should I write more?
What if my sadness is gone, and my melancholy no more?
Will you still love me if I write about crinkle-cut fries?

"****. No more suicide poems, does this kid still try?"

Is there still a Josh Haines if he no longer cries?
Is there still a Josh Haines if he doesn't wanna die?
Is there still a Josh Haines if he starts to fall?
Is there still a Josh Haines if he gets it all?
Is there still a Josh Haines after every kiss?
Is there still a Josh Haines after he writes all of this?

Eh. Maybe, baby. Maybe.

Tears filled my eyes as I reminisced on my dream,
I dreamt about you being with someone, other than me.
That was when I realized ..
I was afraid of losing you.
You said you were willing to make us last,
You said you were willing, to forget my past.
But what if ?
What if you look upon someone prettier than I
What if she too, has a “Million dollar smile” ?
What if her hands and legs aren’t scarred?
What if she doesn’t have a broken heart ?
What if she has beautiful legs and ******* ?
What if she’s not a big mess ?
What if she doesn’t look to a blade,
To wipe all her pains away ?
What if her mood doesn’t change ?
What if she has the most beautiful face ?
Flowing hair, a lovely shape ,a  big bottom
And a lovely embrace ?
What if she can give you all that you want
And not necessarily need ?
Just what if ?
Baby boy, I’m afraid of losing you.

AND I DON’T EVER WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH BECAUSE YOU’RE GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME AND I KNOW THAT MAYBE YOU DON’T WANT ME RIGHT NOW BUT I NEED YOU BAD, SO AT 3 AM WHEN YOU’RE ALONE AND YOU’RE THINKING SAD THOUGHTS I WANT YOU TO THINK HAPPY ONES INSTEAD, SO AT 8 AM I CAN TELL YOU ALL THE REASONS WHY I’M HAPPY YOU’RE NOT DEAD. *

*-c.a.

My mind no longer thinks in English but in the sound of your voice,
and my mouth forms no other shape than the shape of yours,
and my tongue can't create any words because it's laid heavy with the thought of you,
and I hope you notice that my heart is beating extra hard for you,
and I'm starting to sound like a cliche and I won't say those words because I can't dare them to be true so I'll venture as far to say that I adore you.

*-c.a.

I fell in love with the first eyes that locked on mine,
and yours were a crystal blue and reminded me of a cool afternoon,
and I found myself swimming laps in your eyes while your words had me wrapped around your finger.
I'm dangerously in love with you.

*-c.a.

I wouldn't consider myself suicidal but if someone was holding a gun to my head and threatening to pull the trigger,
I would pull it myself for the fear of not being in control of my own death is greater than the fear of death itself.

*-c.a.