there was
once
***
and he used
to cry
like a
baby
when no
one was
looking
he was ten
maybe eleven
it does
not matter
sometimes he
cried
because everyone
around was just
so sad
it never was
about money
but it always is
he saw it in
his mother's swollen
red eyes
is there ever an
age to tell a child
what sadness is?
he did not know
God yet but he could
tell somebody somewhere
did not like him that much
i suppose no
one did like him
even he did
not like himself
with that face
and broken nose
and crooked teeth?
even his mother
told him once
that she did love
him but maybe if
he wasn't so ugly
she would've loved
him some more
and his father never
said a nice thing about
him ever
his grandfather did
once, it was a lie, but
he chose to believe it
anyhow
there wasn't much
else to believe in
only tears
then winter turned
to summer
and summer became
twenty years
days and
days
went by
in a blur
sadness aged
inside of him
like the sweetest
wine though it was
still so very bitter
until one day
he got so drunk
that he forgot
who he was
it was the greatest
day of his life
he waved and
smiled at everybody
he danced and
he sang and he
screamed out
loud
it was a beautiful
sunset that day
there wasn't a
single tear left
in him
nor did anyone
else cry