Sometimes I pass the sidewalk, maybe walking
It’s just strange I can’t hear anything talking
I feel the stares
I find it scares
Especially when nobody is watching

You say you can't hear the laughing
But all I can hear is mocking
you can't see their eyes
All i hear is lies
I know that they're always watching

The pretty blackbirds preening
I can hear their foul screaming
watching me walking
I swear they are watching
though I can't discern meaning

Finger reach up to the sky,
                          Then fall
I lay down to rest my tired soul,
                          Eyes open
Mind eye opens now,
                          Rest is over
My Fingers no longer touches the ledge,
                          Hole is larger
I stare hard at the moon,
                          Then blink
It all seems further now,
                          Hole keeps growing
I reach to start the climb,
                          Then realize
I haven't climbed at all,
                          Just illusion
I think to start climbing
                          Doesn't happen
I scream for help,
                          On inside
No one hears me,
                          Never made sound
The hole is deeper now,
                          Hope is farther
I lay down in the hole,
                          No way out
I close my eyes,
                         No help exists

It's black and sick
and fills your soul
A sin to some, for those who love
But power for others, those who have it
It swirls inside, when you look at them
those who've done you wrong
It swirls inside, when you think of them
Your anger is strong

What is it?

Maybe I'm sick
Maybe I'm twisted
Let's take a dip
In a deep field of roses

You haunt my dreams
You make them so lovely
Leave my dreams
Make it reality

Twist a knife
Soft and deep
I taste the blood
You make it sweet

Feed me lies
Make me cry
Feed me till
I'm full of flies

I've died again

Like a doll with blood
my ink comes pouring out
I never wanted this
but the ink keeps pouring out
I plead and plead for it to stop
I want the ink to dry and clot
but the ink keeps pouring out

Like the blood you people bleed
Ink is blood that comes from me
Instead of red rivers running
Comes words from cuts stunning
To live blood is what you need
I don’t want this flood, I beg and plead
The flood comes from a strain
But both blood and ink leave dark stains
It’s the substance i am without
But the ink keeps pouring out

In the dark
in a stillness
Breath and breeze the only substance

There I stood
or maybe flew
The darkness gave no clue to which

There it was
in that stillness
A great nothing beyond myself

A cold, black
endless nothing
For which I saw myself inside

Your acknowledgement, your praise
The words I've wanted to hear for years
The daydreams that put me in a daze
All the hate settled upon my mirrors

I understand that this is all owed to desperation
I understand you have never felt what I once did
And this very strange fixation
Is because; my insecurity you do rid

They may all be lies
Fibs to which I would never succumb
But, from the despair and fear, you've shielded my eyes
and I no longer feel numb

You have not healed me
I am far from this
But I feel free
From All the painful reminisce