You make me forget the reason I get up in the morning
and put one foot in front of the next
You remind of the reasons i spent so many nights restless
Planning my own death
You need not remind me all the follies I create
Once is quite enough
How many times must you put me down
I already have it rough
You need not tell me how lowly I am
I got it the first 20 times
Why must you be so mean to me
put me down every chance
Why must I dote upon your words
as though the laws of life
Why must you make me hate myself
Each day, to no end
Why must I dote upon you
Like a puppy who's been kicked
Why must you treat me so
You lie to me so much
But I keep coming back for more
Guess the pain is my leash

It’s in this time I realize
Something I had not before
Something I love as much
Treasured at my core

It’s a passion held quite dearly
Only by I, it seems
Learning is a gift I have
But shunned by many means

I’m told I am ignorant
An awful, stupid fool
But all I want is knowledge
I find your words so cruel

You find joy in other’s pain
Mine, it seems, the greatest
You pretend to like me, though
Contrary to your latest

I only want to learn the most
I want to know it all
At least I know I’ll be the victor
I’ll watch you as you fall

It’s never in our lover’s eyes
that we unfold so clearly
It’s in the eyes of those who hurt us
in which we flower dearly
A lover never knows the fear
but an abuser know yours well
A mother never knows your tears
like the rascal borne from hell
It’s only under fear of death
In which we all unwind
Though you haven’t yet for me
I’ll make you, given time

I can focus
Now I'm free
I don't need people
and they don't need me

I'm on track
Now I know
After hurting
I'm no longer low

I know what to do
Now that I've learned
I don't need love or friends
All I needed was to be spurned

Aphrodite,
Goddess of love
Never thought
I'd ask so much
I've failed you, miss
I'm a disappointment
Take your love
I don't need it
Take your kisses
You can keep them
I don't need love
and I don't need him

I guess we're done
I really tried
I'm sorry it's over
I know I lied

Don't hate yourself
It's not your fault
I won't say some dumb cliché
You are just not what I sought

I should have said no to begin with
I weaved so many lies with you
I got caught up in my web
But it's all done, now that we're through

I said yes because I'm weak
I thought I had to
But now I know
That isn't true

I'm sorry for the lies I told
You don't share mistakes with me
But I've told the truth
So we're both free

I've got monsters. When they come, I let them consume me whole. I let them eat me for a while. When they're done we say our goodbyes and I promise to see them soon. Sometimes, I can see them out of the corner of my eye. I wish they could respect my need for space, but I can relate. I know what it's like to be lonely. So, like they'll never leave me, I'll never leave them.
Sometimes I wish my monsters loved me like I love them. Sometimes, I think they do. Sometimes, I think they're me in disguise. All my suffering is a joke on myself that I never meant to make.