Oh yes, you, and only you. I understand that royalty worshiped gold, but your style is more Miami Beach Lamé. The child on the playground that couldn't seem to keep quiet, about anything. And talk about conversation, what would we do without all you have accomplished? Most people see your attempts to be nice, but we know it's only to get what you need for the given time. Who else is going to climb the celestial ladder? You can be found in front of cameras, stages, and occasionally robbing candy from small children. Also, curb your need to flatter yourself, you may think the world cares about you, but, it doesn't. I guess your blessed in some ways, but honey, your personality is like crusted **** on the lawn that has turned white, you are now an alabaster God!

Advice: Ease up on the clothes shopping. Do you think you look good or something?

If there's someone crying while taking a **** in a public restroom, it's you. You're ruling planet is the ever-changing Moon, so you're moody and so is your ****. One day you're ******* pebbles, and the next your stomach's cramping and diarrhea's shooting from your perfectly rounded *******. When the Moon is full and you're full of ****, enemas are your loyal friend. You very much enjoy pumping water up your ***. Not only are enemas your cure for constipation, but enemas also cure your dehydration that results from all the ******* crying you do.

Advice: Take a moment and stop crying when you're taking a ****, because on more than one occasion and without realizing, you've wiped your tears with the same toilet tissue you just wiped your ****** *** with.

Who are we dealing with today, the psychopath on the left or right? All hail to mouth from the North, East, West, and South; how else will you convince your audience with all that inner charm you truly don't possess. Your heart is never in the right place but your full lips seem to flap about like a flatulent **** hole. All things considered, you try to come off as, "I can do it all", but we all know deep inside you're one of the laziest of zodiacal signs. Who else is going to catch up on Hollywood gossip and the latest in tacky fashions, most you Geminians seem to don and adore. It's not all bad, I mean, about the only thing you might be good at is reading this critical review and dismissing it because, like all true psychopaths you still refuse to take a look at all 36 personalities.

Advice: Don't breathe...just leave this Universe, you *******.

No, you're **** does not not stink. It's ****. Your **** smells like ****. You are no exception to this truth. If you're a Taurus you probably wipe your *** with toilet paper made of satin. You indulge in fatty and sugary foods quite often, so your ******* satin toilet paper never lasts long. Your ruling planet in Venus, so you see ******* as an art form. You may even decorate your house with your own **** statues. When you're not admiring your own ****, you're constipated because you're too ******* stubborn to take a break from stuffing your face with ****** food.

Advice: Put down the cannolis and take a walk in a rose garden so you'll know what actual roses smell like.

You're the baby of the zodiac which means you're probably still wearing a diaper because you are too ******* impatient to **** in the toilet like the rest of us. If you're not still wearing a diaper, you're walking around with **** stains in your chones with your head held high. Your ruling planet is Mars, so be careful of straining your **** when constipated. You're more prone to hemorrhoids than any other zodiac sign. You need lots of attention, yet you fail to acknowledge and accept that the reason you're not getting any is because you smell like ****.

Advice: Learn how to use the ******* toilet and change your underwear daily.