I exist in the midst of
the ruins of myself, and
the stranger I have become

The day greets me with its
aching loneliness forcing me
to suffer through its brutal hours

Even in my dreams,
I am still being crushed  
by the heaviness of the night

And I do not know
if I can bear to see
another burning sunset

i have dreams
sometimes
and in them
i'm nailed to a cross
and i have died
there's so much blood
and my eyes
are gouged out
with rosaries
sometimes
it's you and me
alone
and i lose my innocence
over and over
until i'm screaming
and i ***** my lungs up
when i look at the dream you
your face is expressionless
and void of love
i never wake up