The room is dark
The only light
Is a sizzling white
Emanating from
My computer screen

With the blackout curtains
I'm not really sure
If it's morning or evening
And at this point
I don't really care

I stand up periodically
Only to move
From the computer
To the television
And then back again

It's hard to breath
My head feels inflated
And my muscles hurt
Probably from not
Using them enough

Sometimes I curl up
And just think
I think of things
That would have been
If I wasn't stuck this way

And then finally
My loneliness
Lulls me too sleep
Only to repeat the process
Again the next day

Love yourself.
Your own happiness is important.
Worship your body.
You don't need a man for that.
Enlighten yourself
Spiritually and mentally.
Laugh, cry, scream,
Feel everything and anything.
Embrace life and positivity.
Accept your flaws.
Forgive your mistakes.
Rediscover your identity.
Say goodbye to all the poison.
You are strong.
You are beautiful.
Show love and compassion.
Fight your fears and the hate.
Overcome them but don't forget them.
Be a lady.
Be brilliant.
Do not let anyone own you.
You deserve the best.
You are the best.

Fall through the earth
And breath the sky
Where time stands still
Yet passes by

Walk among
The wandering world
Below the heavens
And starry swirls

Then rising through
The smoke filled night
Where they yet dream
Of coming light

To Stand up tall
Among the glass
Shattered now
By what is past

Will they yet know
Of what we've done
For us, for them
And our fallen Sun

I saw hell and I'm afraid to go back
I must find the elusive loving I lack
I fear this daydream of death
I want to take my last breath
I wish my mind would cease it's attack

The love and terror of this path through life,
creates an action within me to gain traction,
so I trudge what feels like forward,
toward whatever is calling,
I say babbling prayers to keep from falling,
yet I stumble and trip,
and to keep upright I reach out to grip,
the most consistent thing in this persistent dream;
pleasurable and lustful things...
but the consistency is my lie,
so I curse my dreaming,
though the feeling is fleeting and treacherous,
all I want is to say **** Everything And Run,
and then I am overcome by which way to flee,
then I fall...

...and the only one I have to blame, is me.

see how these soft worn cotton sheets rub against my cheek?
see how the flame of the candle doesn't falter anymore?
see how the cotton candy pink of your lips rewrite history?
see how your kisses pull me out of my slumber and set fire to my veins?

do you see it, baby?

see how my heart churns and softens when i think of your name?
see how your skin feels like velvet underneath my mouth?
see how this promise may chip but it will never break?
see how this slow beating heart drags itself across oceans of blood just to be able to call itself yours, and yours alone?

do you see it, baby?

see how every kink and curl of your hair allows me to sleep at ease?
see how when you say you love me the night sky echoes it back to you
because that's where i hide my love for you? i fill up infinity with it, so the stars can murmur it everlastingly into your heart.

do you see it?
i hope you see it.
i do it all for your eyes only.


(so when you bat your eyelashes my heart beats in sync with it)

When you can see the end of the road,
But the hands you carry remain empty;
Your shoulders weary of the load you bear,
The yoke of your deeds, the curse on your name.

In fear of the shadows surrounding you,
But a hope that whispers, "Carry on";
To leave the familiar behind,
To step into the unknown, into faith.

When you find the devil that shatters you,
In the mirror every morning, haunting you;
When your very being, the one you know so well,
Is the nightmare you live each day.