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AprilDawn Jul 2014
was where his heart
intertwined with mine
the cruel  flick of a  wrist
made sure
I will  never go
Never forgotten, my Tom
AprilDawn Dec 2014
A Hound’s Garden  
The Citrus Saga

Part One: Cursed

The blossoms were sweetly fragrant
belying their sour harvest
the tree named Meyer bore a dulcet legacy
to wither  in a corner
under the sly vigilance of a young hound.

Part Two: Salvation

It arrived in a plain brown box
glossy leaves without flowers
a solitary green satsuma
flailing in the breeze
transformed under the sleepy gaze
of a furry connoisseur
whose daily test sniff promised
a favorite delicacy’s imminent

Part Three: Thankful Harvest

Peeled glory
  succulent slices
of tangerine heaven
just barely enough for one mouth
to savor.

Part Four:  Grim Reaper

Growing season came again
fragrant   blossoms erupted
sweet branches
  studded with   unripe fruit  
stood proudly in the Texas sunlight
when like a thief in the night
every unborn tangerine
was gone one early morn
sad faces saw the end
of a Satsuma riddled era.

Part 5: Fare Thee Well

Years have passed
Since the hound’s youthful
her sight long gone  
nose not as sharp
the tangerine tree
to someone else
those fruitful bounties
live only in the dreams
of a graying dog.
In honor of  our dear elder pup Sophie (RIP May 28, 2001-December  4,2014) , who hated lemons with a passion  and  loved  tangerines . Our citrus trees in our Texas garden were  her most  loved fruit  and her most hated fruit . The lemon tree mysteriously died,while   the tangerine tree still blossomed .I worked on this piece  for years on and off , figures  I would finish it  after she passed.Miss you sweet girl.
AprilDawn Apr 2014
You won’t be
You will be
with my attentions  riveted
to the curve of your smile
and the  glint in your eyes
and  love smeared across your face
like  freshly made  plum jelly
My next partner , I always thought, will never replace my husband.
And he has not.
AprilDawn May 2014
constantly rehashed
long thread spun out
every chance
rewind button
never sticks
never breaks
lassoed memories
drug in kicking
and screaming
blows the lid off  
feigned civility
while anger
simmers savagely
pursed lips
Ever had a disagreement with someone who can't let anything go ?
AprilDawn Apr 2016
set of eyes
to evaluate the clues
of  your untimely demise
I hope these finally spot
whatever horrible plot
stole your days
from us all
call made
dead end
with unseen motives
conspiracy theories
not yet revealed
answers craved
to this real life suspense
sad anniversary
flips this calendar
I live with a real life mystery  and have since my husband of  nearly 20 years   was murdered by a yet   unknown  person  .As the years  move forward   and  the struggle for answers with each call to the authorities  nets  no new knowledge  gains  for the past almost  14 years.
AprilDawn Apr 2014
in the valley
feel no need
to scale any peaks
just easy-peasy
lay  low  
let the long silken rays
drape  my weary soul
in glowing golden glory.
A  location  -place in my life poem .Massachusetts  2007
AprilDawn Jun 2014
discarded pieces
from days long past
crumpled  memories
wallowing in
the absence of sunlight
a welcome  respite
for spaces ,places and times  
that dredge up
bittersweet ache
on the blinding  blade
of a shovel
let  them lie in peace  
just a bit longer  
and perhaps
  the next excavation
will find me  stronger.
Those things you have to sort out as time goes by because you could not  let them go, even just digging through  lightly  brings  back  both welcome and unwelcome reminders  of  those  tangle of  moments &  memories we call our lives..
AprilDawn Apr 2014
for crispy  ridged
that use to be
a special treat
after a brisk winter
walk on the beach
or a rainy spring day
visit from Dad
maybe nobody
wanted  to lift a ***
after a long week
a crumpled scrap of paper
just beginning to fade
bookmarks those
long eaten delicacies.
Cleaning out my purses, ran across  bookmarked memories  from a different  time and space.
AprilDawn Apr 2014
Wispy blossoms
against the cerulean sky
voracious for sunlight
even rooted in mud
bodacious buds
surrounded by concrete
will not be subdued
they remain
perfectly poised
for ritual splendor.
Gulf coast  late winter ,early spring  on my college campus almost a  decade ago.I was  seeing  so much around me  , I was  on my way to  the me  that is closer to now.
AprilDawn May 2014
flavored air
under the back  door crack
Anticipation hangs
over the pool
in waves
dog cries  
pierce the morning calm.
Our resident  senior hound  Soph    use to get some of those nibbles   from  bacon mornings.Now her tummy can't handle them  anymore....
AprilDawn May 2014
Who dares to steal
in the dead of night
sacred morsels
right out
from under his nose
mount an inquisition
follow the trail
to it’s deviant source
Halt !
he bellows
who goes there
brandishing implements  
of sacrilege
close the gates  
seal off the moat
no ones leaves until
such savagery
is exposed
cunning lies
stuck down
under the white hot glare
of the fridge light
clandestine cheese snatchers
   take heed
your nibbles
are numbered !
Another poem about  sharing the  Dad  ( who we were living with   at the time  )  had a few moments of  "where did my  snack  go "? !
AprilDawn Sep 2016
still hangs in the night air
from holiday meals  
long grilled
the only light  I see
is above
the crescent  moon
and a triangle of stars
boasting of Saturn  
and Mars
plus the  bonus planet  Antares
as I stumble 
yet again
 through the lawn
to find  those
half sunken stepping stones
  on  tilted  soil
headed towards the back porch
where Lily cat meows
  loudly for her supper
by the back door
Impressions of last Labor Day
AprilDawn Dec 2015
wrapped  around
pink pulled taffy
this  last  dream
of  daylight
fades into  
rumors of  night  
smoky with sorrows
and lost  
stream of consciousness ,  all about our late   autumn skies ..
AprilDawn May 2015
bring it
little Louisville Slugger
poised for action
hits just the right spots
crack of the bat
such simple satisfaction
smack down
into the crowd
hungry for the win
eyes light up
its another
  homerun baby
Not actually about baseball! I do ,however, use  a  miniature Louisville slugger  from my stepkids to crush our bunny  shaped cheese crackers for our tuna patty dinners. Word it !
AprilDawn Apr 2014
Precious stones
or even just
paste pretenders
   threaded through
polished perfection
sunlight kept hostage
mirrored moon glow
tiny shiny planets draw
foreign bodies into orbits
while blinking stars
frame infinity
on fragile human canvas
spilling faceted
upon even  dullest of
Yes, this  is  a girly thing.Talking about  jewelry< sighs at  self).That was written  at least  five years before my daughter Stefanie Meade  started making hers.I get these flights of fancy   it seems...
AprilDawn May 2014
darkened eyes
absorb well woven
into deeply  recessed
flashlight of  knowledge
soothes  a weary heart.
I use to read  before bed  for many years .
AprilDawn Aug 2014
yesterdays  seem
so long behind
today  is  close at hand
tomorrow is a heartbeat away
if   luck holds true
within the layers of years
try to find
what  could get me through
this daily
mortal toil
I find myself  using my past  sad , or  glad  to help me through todays. Wicked storms  make sunshine  ever so much sweeter.
AprilDawn May 2014
Storm savaged fronds
still flower
tucked away
for another day’s  
punk  spiked  blooms
hide inside
a deftly
French braided core.
The famed  playground  for  mice   plant  , took a beating through some extreme weather .Still stood  tall  and made some beautiful  flowers.
AprilDawn Apr 2014
still binds me  
to your love
but never
written 2005
AprilDawn May 2014
Open up
Spill your guts
I said
with my fist
to the box
as I  smacked  
I realize
scissors might
I am always greedy and impatient  to open parcels/packages !
AprilDawn May 2015
a bright trail
of stark Spring sunshine
through the  bedroom
window shade
pry my eyes open
to see
***** dancing
dust bunnies
reminding me
spring cleaning
needs to  move up
on my  to -do
yeah....dust bunnies, dog hair and winter clothes have set up camp at our house .Got to get to it !
AprilDawn Dec 2016
quilt traps
my leaden legs
every morning
cell phone alarm signals
time for release
breathe, just breathe
to my diversion
look over at him
and smile
drink down
my new tea mug
half empty or is it
half full
difference lies in the next  
bitter pain med
sliding down my throat
sweet deliverance
for a few hours a pop
please tell me
price paid in full
for still being around
Stream of Consciousness Ramblings
Created: 2009-01-09 11:25:00 AM
In November of  2008  I was in a bad car accident with my daughter that left me  with multiple hip fractures  and  dealing with pain, medication and rehabilitation for a few months after. Even after I  was released to go home in late December 2008, I was dependent upon help from my  fiancé . I slept  in a  hospital bed, had an appliance that went into my body  called a pelvic fixator  and open wounds that needed tending and a ***** . Wheelchair  bound for a more weeks  with nurse visits and forced to stay inside  with  a steady diet of Percocets that  kept my pain levels down . I was  nearly fully healed  a few more  months later .This was the one poem I wrote on a blog   under  medication  on MySpace  .They  had  taken off the blogs  about 5 years ago  and MySpace was  finally  able to  send me my old blogs just recently .I had not made a back up of the poem, so it was lost to me for  several years .I remember writing this  with a foggy brain .
AprilDawn Apr 2014
Shoots through  
the confinement
of its cedar fence
offers a peak
at a neighbor’s  
slice of life.
Contained suburbia , my  muse of sorts for several years.Joy in the simple observances of daily life. From another  bunch of pictures after we   got the digital camera. Glad I took the shot, because  a day or two later the rose was trimmed.
AprilDawn May 2014
so far removed
from daily chaos
in a dimly lit atmosphere
occasionally punctuated
with  bright faces
laden down with
movable feasts
our eventual escape
finally came into  view
a glimmer of  hope
slid in  next to us
tipping fortune’s favor  
onto our plates.
My daughter and I  wanted to leave   our  extended family by  2006, we were longing for  our own time, space and adventure. Many hours were spent in  local  eateries    making our getaway  plans.
AprilDawn Oct 2014
those colors
do look fabulous
on you
  that  old shack
never looked so good
arm-like branches
with suggestive  swagger
all check me out  
my  brazen Fall foliage  
is what makes
  this dirt ditch
ramshackle  place
somebody's  shabby chic
rustic Americana  
I am green eyed
with envy
as we pass
your piece of the world
that  fountain of youth
your  molecules
you super  cool
  a local  icon  
as long as
no one
chops you down
Local trees  got  autumnal game right  now.Coming into their own , and not to shy to  show it all off..
AprilDawn Apr 2014
jab at the moon
frame the shot
a perfectly manicured
golf course.
I also  take pictures of different things , mainly   since  we got a digital camera in 2005.Downloaded  these pics from a dog walk one night   and  a poem came right  to mind.
AprilDawn May 2014
every inch of window space
no room for shadows
moon glow a no show
pull my eyelids tight
yank the plastic shades
as far as they’ll go
to lay down my fears
for the night.
a bit of a rhyme scheme there ...not intentional either.Written in 2007 , rental home  in Massachusetts  right behind a Buick dealership.Fluorescent signs   totally  lit  the back side  of our house  porch, laundry area, dining room  , living room and  my bedroom !
AprilDawn Sep 2014
but not  rotten
last ambassadors
drip  off my lips  
glad my shirt
  is dark
and these  stains
won't really matter
Just ate my last farmer's market  tomato for dinner  tonight..Tuesday is  already Fall.
AprilDawn Mar 2018
into my bleak early Spring
this mist of sticky juice
my normally clogged nose
inundated with bold proof
of   lurid promises
from citrus groves
bathed by sunlight
on a foreign soil
while my entire body
sanguinely sings
your praises
and my fingers
continue to peel
away until every morsel
is revealed
and devoured
I bought a bag of  blood oranges the other week, and every other day I eat one with my fiancée. The smell and texture is divine.
AprilDawn Apr 2014
Miniature tree
furiously fuzzy
pink and white
imperial palms
reminds reverently
of a larger tree
in another place
and time
our potted baby mimosa in Texas.
AprilDawn Aug 2015
still opened to
your presence bookmarked
by well worn memories
that dwell in every corner
every space
on the wall
jam packed
with life treasures
my mind can't erase
your spot in this place
and struggles to accept
what actually is fact
remnants of you
are all
that exist
Saying goodbye  to Gary a little bit more everyday
AprilDawn Feb 2017
can't really reach You
everything is
our old arguments
as well
just  drop away
naked fear left behind
strangling your mind
normality already
a thing of the past
I  am not sure
when it happened
crept up slow and stealthy
this drawn out
not knowing
when my cameo role
in your heart
will fade away
to nothing
Another one about watching my Mama fade away  , this was actually the first one I wrote  a few months back. My Mom and I  didn't always see eye to eye  all my life  .She  loved me in her own way . I am trying to remember that  instead of all the   issues....
AprilDawn Jun 2017
Never ever
been so beyond
my reach
I know less now
than I did
15 years ago
back when this
still grasping
for reasons
that elude even the
of an understanding
who ,what and why
reverberates through me
on repeat
    while sorting
dusty piles of pictures
                 from a life
that seems like a foreign film
a naïve version of myself
cameo moments
captured within
assorted snaps
your smile
many times  over
these are the  memories
I try to press into my
deepest mind
instead of  the weight
of ashes
that buckled my knees
in  a sleek
Cherry wood  
I gave
to your brothers
to keep
July 2002 I lost  my  husband of nearly 20 years  and the father of my daughter to ******. Unsolved mystery it remains ,  and these  thoughts creep out from the corners of my everyday life and haunt me  regularly.
AprilDawn Nov 2014
Every year
the same deal
obtained too early
under the
seasonally seductive
store lights  
nestled  next
to  the fake fall foliage
become mysteriously
from their final destination
as intense inspections
under the guise of
quality control
these  pilfered  provisions
perform a vanishing act
visions of  sad
costumed tots
at the  doorway
with empty bags
hurry a return visit
for rapid  replacements
tragedy narrowly
Every year   I buy Halloween candy too early and wind up  noshing on too many...and then have to buy  more  to avert  the disaster  of  running out of candy on  Halloween night ...
I wrote this a few years back , finished it today  !
AprilDawn Jun 2014
see me
out here
stripped raw
thin veneer
of laughter and hope
on my every day

Can You
see me
next to my bed
cascades of
screaming covers
at my feet

Can You
see me
feet planted
on the solid  ground
of your love
every memory  
folded inside -
a tender caress
mussed  sheets
The  first  months of raw anguish, then the grieving  years  and  for  the past half decade  or so  the learning to love and live  almost normally again.
AprilDawn Apr 2015
in the catalpa tree
beautiful daddy flits
and flutters by
plane jane mama sits
in the branches
on patrol
spring  storms savage
this little winged family
  Lily cat's restless prowl
anticipates the promise of eggs
is ever guaranteed
You just never know which way the winds of life will blow
AprilDawn Nov 2017
those  fruits
always  boasted
such sweet  promises  
every summer 
 they  arrived
at the fruit stand
  in town
wrapped in foreign writing
my dreamy eyed little girl
nibbled them  
with red stained lips
she  asked
her  gramps
one summer afternoon
if  they could plant
their own  cherry tree
so he took her  to a spot
and together they did plot
to  raise cherries by
the driveway
the pits  took hold
in the  rich  soil
as  they both thrived
tall and strong
it  littered
the front
of her grandparent's  house
with it's delicious bounty
we  stood  under the tree
every summer  
we could come
as they  rained down
upon us
still going strong
three decades later
we have not
been around
for a great long while
to delight in
red legacy
Cerise Noir   is pronounced  "Serreese  Nowar" , it's French for black cherries.My daughter, parents and myself always loved sweet black cherries  and when we lived in Germany  , the cherries would come in from  southern France  or Italy every  summer. My daughter  who was 5 at the time wanted to grow her own fruit tree. So she and my father  planted  black cherry pits. They took and for  may years  there were black cherries towering over  my parents driveway ! My parents recently sold that property and we so hope someone  is still picking them and not just letting them go to waste.
AprilDawn Apr 2014
Your love lingers inside me
like mulling spices
in an empty jar.
April 2006
This poem has a picture of  an empty jar of mulling spices on a window sill.It is the jar that inspired this poem. Sometimes I would take off the lid  to just smell it  .There , but not there .
AprilDawn May 2014
I inhale fuchsia
I feel amethyst purple envelope me
I breathe out turquoise
I crave coral
I cling to royal blue
I am entranced by lilac
I let  maraschino cherry red invigorate me
I spy light spring  green
Navy sails away with me
I  get  elegantly persuaded by  classic black
every stitch
has my rapt attention
nuances take center stage
each piece
has a tale
to spin
of past encounters
while fantasies of
future engagements
shine brilliantly on teeming racks.
Looking through my walk in closet one day ( back 2006 oh how I miss it  too), this  poem  sprung to mind.I think   it is a very girly  themed poem   focused on  colors  and  plans  !When I wrote this  the actual color  mentioned  was  typed in that color.That is  not possible  on this site.
AprilDawn Feb 2017
so many tables  
stacked with catalogs
and coffee cups
our long discussions  
cluttered  with memories  
long renting spaces
potential plans made
like  guest beds in our minds  
favorite tv shows
devouring  our  
afternoons and evenings
dotted  with  
occasional power
minds at odds
a generational
the  backdrop  
for  the need
to leave  the nest
freedom I sought
and liberty
was gained
flash forward
less than a decade
and you
are wrapped
  in a mere
flesh shell of existence
no longer engaged
in this world
with anything
but breath  
and  discomfort
for tender mercies
am I
  for you
still remember me
I have begun to lose my mother to  some form of dementia over the past 2 years .I have to relive old conversations from years and decades past , because she cannot  actually discuss anything really anymore  . She is   repetitive and circular in nature now and short term memory is  getting worse. She  was so sharp witted .We had a rough mother -daughter relationship. She does love me , and I am an only child.My father  takes care of her currently   and they  live  several states away from me .She hardly laughs anymore.It is sad for us all to see her disappearing.
AprilDawn Apr 2014
Showy pink wildflowers
Easter kitsch crammed yards,
not one ditch is spared
from their gossamer petals
Easter  in my Texas  suburbia. I believe the wildflowers were called primroses.
AprilDawn Dec 2014
much care
go ahead
try to spread
  your holiday
cheese ball cheer
wrap me up
in flashy lights
roll me down
candy cane lane
  there still
ain’t enough
in the world
  to cover up
After my husband died  , there were a few Christmas times  where I just had a hard time coming up with the spirit.This Christmas  will probably be another , because  we have to put our  older pup to sleep  tomorrow. I already miss her.
AprilDawn Apr 2014
elegantly shielded
every room
it ever graced
from the sun’s starkest rays
to living room
every place
Love ever lived
and shade was  desired.
A beautiful  wide panel of European  curtains   my husband and I  bought from a  neighbor  for  a ridiculously small amount   back in the mid 80's .We took it across oceans and made it work in so many of our homes.Over the past  five  years   it no longer fits anywhere   , all  the windows  I live  with  are  smaller   and shorter, so sadly , it remains in storage.
AprilDawn Oct 2014
brown leaf
whirls  along
the  road
by golf cart wheels
heads turn
just long enough
to register
it was green
2006 poem  , edited today.Lived near  a  golf course in the Houston area and   saw a lot of folks  running around in golf carts  on our subdivision roads.
AprilDawn Jun 2015
this immaculate
vanilla  cake
whipped up   high  
with expectations
eggs and fresh milk
begged  for fruit
my pie eyes
only  a dented seam
sour cherry can
in a  crammed
freezer burned
not even the dog
would deign
to nibble
it's safe to say
that even this
naked baked cake
will find it's way
into my
greedy grasp
cake dilemma in the kitchen today...but still there is  delicious cake to be had
AprilDawn Jun 2014
They assured me
the 15 inch blunt
fingerprint- free knife
was wielded
with the stealth element
of surprise
in the midst of a normal
Sunday afternoon
behind a closed office door
he  never  knew
what happened
just dropped down  
and died
my normal world
replaced by
a  true life  horror tale
my  knees
sparred  with gravity
while this   anvil of sadness  
squashed my heart  
wobbling  legs drove  me
mercilessly to  his
  serene good bye face
on a rolling table
with a sheet
up to
     his neck.
The day I had to identify him  for cremation. It was him, but it wasn't.The  second hardest day of my life to date.
AprilDawn Dec 2014
my spatula
conducts  an
imaginary orchestra
dance through
my hands
Christmas past  
my eyes  
like a sharp jab
a   roast fork
rip apart  
hastily mended  seams
I stand there
in tears
after my
The  2nd Christmas  (2004)after  my husband  died , I was trying to  get into  the mood ...when Christmas  memories hijacked me  and killed  the mood.
AprilDawn Feb 2015
the sky
our dinner sizzles
so tired of this
retched soggy
some  well rounded wine
a good reason
to take the edge off
today's blah-di-da
the dog comes in
I just know
he's going to be
muddy paw friendly
to his mama
Today poem form !
AprilDawn May 2014
lace collar clouds
poised above a
creamy  blue pastel sky
feel the sun gaze longingly
at the crystalline landscape necklace
draped over winter's chilled
bare neck
pinning the horizon
with icy  fingers .
This past February had a few days of   icy  artwork  all over  our world, it came with  awe inspiring   blue  skies. Poem written in Feb 2014.
AprilDawn Aug 2014
unfolds  on my face
every night
zig zagging
dusky skies
a summer's bounty of fireflies
flight pattern
known only to you
my camera cannot catch
your electric dance
turning  that  copse  
between the yards
by chance
from the neighbors
****** decor  
into  rustic country  charm  
all along
their  laundry lines
drying  pants
Today's poem took on a rhyme scheme somehow !
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