Red-blooded love
Blue-blooded veins
You left me again
Purple stains

Sometimes
nothing is wrong,
but I still don't feel right.

Sometimes
the sun shines so beautifully through the Blue Beyond,
striking my window so tantalizingly,
but I can't feel its warmth.

Sometimes
I wake from a healthy slumber,
but find myself still without the strength to face the day
or even move

Sometimes, I forget to feel.

Sometimes, I unconsciously deny myself the right to live.

Sometimes happens too many times.

A foggy winter morning
Obscures my point of view
With timeless memories,
With millions of possibilities,
Reminiscent of me and you:

Only our present is visible
With nary a clue where we are,
But I feel that everything was worth it,
We're the closest thing to perfect
That I've ever been (so far)

If you told me to, I would do anything.
Does that make me a fool?
Naive?
A ***** who can bleed?
Or man
Who sees
Past his own needs?

As the fire burns me alive, it feasts upon my skin
greedily ******* the oxygen from my lungs
I can feel the heat licking at my body
It started at my feet
But it won't stop there...
I can feel the Smoke filling me
With every gasp my weak body forces me to take
I'm given no choice
As the Smoke saunters into my airways
Slithers down my lungs
Down to the very last alveolus.

As the endless coughing begins, I ponder my actions
I think of what I did to deserve this
I know what I did
I sinned
An unpardonable sin

I was me

The flames continue, though I ignore them
Although the trepidation inside me burns just as badly.

I will not regret.
Why would I regret doing the only thing I was ever good at?
I was me.

I cannot beg for mercy
But I can stare into their eyes
Into their judgmental souls
I see what they do not:
They are not them.
Not a single person among them is true to self.

I smile

I breath in this staunch air, heavier than the blanket
of breathlessness that I've been enveloped in
for days now
Maybe years even
I'm sure
I think

A single tear tries to offer me one last aqueous solace
Before it withers in the heat

I still can't believe it all had to go this far

I cannot beg for mercy
I won't pretend I'm sorry
I won't let myself down

It's my turn now.
I will light the way.

Very much too soon,
More than 1,500 miles will separate us.

It wasn't until I was finally saying goodbye
that I was scared to see you leave-
Because I realized that I no longer can protect you,
help you,
serve you,
hold you.
But I only wish the best for you and your new adventures-
wherever they may lead.

Now I have to release you
From my arms
Into the arms of the rest of the world.

The rest of the world only looks scary when I imagine you lost in it.
It can be cruel, harsh, unforgiving...
But I believe you can make it yours.

Very much too soon,
More than 1,500 miles will separate us.

Remember that I'll always be here for you.

Be free.
It's what you've needed all along.

And most importantly, BE YOURSELF.
                          Yourself is who I grew up learning to love.

I tested the waters
Finding them satisfactory, I walked into the shower without reluctance
and stood, staring straight down at the drain, watching it all wash away.
Laughter, pain, remembrances, time spent
disappeared down that hole quicker than I would ever have imagined
or dreamed
or feared.
So as the water flowed over my open skin I didn’t even feel the pain
the stinging fire that burns for a few seconds, leaves, then returns
just like her.
I didn’t feel that stinging pain
I was already numb by then
just like I always am.
Then I noticed the water flowing down my face, it reminded me of tears
and how long it’s been since I’ve used them.
I was never really good at crying
my childhood robbed me of that
this simulation of tears is all I get.
Then, I realized
just like I do everyday
It’s a good thing she hates me too
like she always has
with so much love.
But it makes me stand in the shower for another forty-five minutes
as I scream silently
as loud as I can without opening my mouth.
How could you just give up?
Was I never enough?
I simply remained, wishing with all my might
that this shower would be my brief respite.
Please, just wash all of our memories away
I continued to plead
allthewhile knowing that it would be impossible for me
and that I’ll alway be here
helpless
for whenever you need me again

All is bittersweet.
Everything
Has consequences...

...So watch your steps.

One day

All the problems we've ever had
will be meaningless
and rustic
and unfortunate
and laughable

One day

We will realize war was never worth it

One day

We will invent an eraser that rubs off scars

One day

The time we spent pondering and thinking
All that time no one bothered to record...

Our tears,
Sweat,
Fear,
Idiosyncrasies,
Weapons,
Secrets,
Patience,
P­aradoxes,
Listlessness,
Silent anger,
Struggles...

Our smirks of judgement directed at others,
Our sobs of judgement directed at ourselves...

One day, all of these things will mean nothing
except that they served their purposes
to get us to the present
and gave us a **now.

I've told you time and time again
Not to run from your fear

Every time it catches up to you
(It always does, eventually)
You're so tired from all that running

And one day you'll be too tired to fight

I'm poor, but
losing everything let me find You,
making me the richest person alive.