i miss waking up next to you
the sun beaming on your face
as i stare at your radiant skin
the colour of caramelized brown sugar
the kind you eat off candy apples
in the summertime at amusement parks
while the lights from rides illuminate the night
the same way your presence ignites my heart
i am stuck in daydreams of you
and although the world is on halt
i feel an immense amount of chaos in my world
because you are not here with me
in my presence
and the thought of you makes me feel
and finally understand things
that were once incomprehensible to me
i’ve never been good at science
but with you it’s like i understand the concept
of gravitational pulls
because although we are so far apart
i feel so insanely close to you but...

maybe i’m just stuck in the universe
that i found in your eyes

I wonder if you think of me
As I do of you,
I wonder if you miss me
I'm such a fool,
I wonder if you'd ever tell me
What I've put you through,

Soon I will be just a memory
Of someone you once knew,
As I fade away know that,
Once upon a time
I loved you ...
Did you ever love me too?

love is not made of giving and taking in equal parts
it is not a favor for a favor
i owe you nothing

love is not a compromise reached after long deliberation
it is not hurting on Monday
and healing on Tuesday

love is not touching because you will leave if i do not
it is not feigning naivety
when you see me cry

love is not the untimely squandering of innocence
it is not the suffocating grip of guilt
it is not your unwelcome touch

love is not
love is not
love is not

You are a piece of me
And as much as sometimes
I feel that I need to be my individual self
I find that it’s hard to think of living my life without you
As much of an independent woman
People have perceived me to be
And as much as I’ve made myself believe so too
A piece of you lives in me
And I hate that the thought of being without you
Makes me feel incomplete
Because if one day
The universe decides to separate us
Or tear us apart
And I fall..
The way I fell in love with you
Except this time
I fall into a pit of depression
A feeling that knows me oh so well
A feeling that constantly lingers around me
Like my favourite perfume
I fear that I may end up losing both of us
And I know that pain loves company
And maybe I don’t want to think about losing you
Because I’ve grown up to be pain
And you are my sweet, sweet misery

Nothing hurts more
In this very moment
Than the thought of losing you
And though I want to give you
The reassurance you don’t think you need
The twisting and turning of my gut
The rush that my anxiety is experiencing
Refuses to let me tell you
And it hurts most
To know that
You
You were the closest thing to love
I have felt
In a really long time
You are the closest thing to love
That I remember feeling
Before I touched the deep
deep
Pits of depression
A feeling... that is slowly trying to familiarize herself with my soul once again
A cut tie that is trying to find the strength to mend its old habits back together
And I fear meeting her once again
Because I might be on the verge of losing you
But I cannot let myself lose me ever again

I’ve fallen in love with the taste of you
And the way you love to taste me too

I’m in love with the mystery you portray
And the passion you exert
With the affirmations you speak
And the love that we make

Being with you is like being inside while the rain is pouring down
The way you bring me feelings of comfort, relaxation, and an overload of emotions
And though most wish the rain would just stop
I admire the process
Because I know something beautiful is ready to unfold

My dear, we have never been perfect
And although I hate rollercoasters
I’m willing to go through ups and downs with you
Because I know this ride is worth it

And in case the universe decides we weren’t meant to be
A piece of you will live in me
Because you have brought me light and love
At a time where I spent most of my days in oceans that I created with my own pain and tears

And for that I am forever thankful.

our love was like the moon
beautiful and bright
mysterious
some nights you saw it
and it followed you home
other nights you went on a search
to find it
oh, how beautiful and simplistic
and i talk to the moon
hoping that you hear me
because our love was like the moon
sometimes so bold and beautiful
and sometimes..
so hard to find.