It's not fair that I am constantly giving out love to people who don't know how to treat me and who don't appreciate the way that I surrender my pride. It's not fair that while I cry in silence you get to live your life in peace because you do not care nearly half as much as I do when it comes to losing each other like is that fair?
It's not fair.
Do you realize that I put my heart on my sleeve for you?
You must not realize because you always want to cut your sleeves off on hot summer days even when you know how expensive that shirt was to begin with. You don't give a **** about the sleeves that I rest my heart on and you neglect my salty tears cause you are always in search of something sweeter
while still stringing me along.

Cut the ******* string since you're so strong and keep that perfect posture of yours because when you walk away from me I sure as hell better not see you turning back. I sure as hell better not hear that sorry-*** "I miss you" after months of me training myself to just keep swimming. There's plenty of fish in the sea sweetheart but never forget that the same fish you throw back willingly are the same ones that others pray their whole lives to catch.

a

it's official
it has been
a month

a whole,
wild month
but still a month

a month of
countless words
and
hundreds of views

though the question is
what is the point of this?
i've been here a month
and i'm still not sure

do i write here
just so
i have an outlet?
to get these feelings out?

am i here
to seek acceptance
to find people who feel like me
or who appreciate my thoughts?

am i just here
to feel wanted and understood
to hear praise and
watch my views climb?

is this a way for me
to say things to people
that i don't have the courage to say
in real life?

or am i here to help
diffuse my anger
and dull the pointed edges
of my soul
and try to put together
the shattered parts of me
by accepting them myself?

I am in love with a person i no longer know
It has been three years since we last had a conversation
And not even a real one at that
And we encounter each other sometimes in the mornings
Standing less than a metre away from each other
Still keeping up the 'stranger' charade

I'm still in love with a person whom I haven't spoken to in the amount of years it took me to realize i was depressed
It's crazy to think that a person so distant could have this sort of impact on you
And I still love you
And I still love you...
Some nights.... most nights....
Stars seem brighter than they usually are and I find the moon and I have similar conversations

I'm unsure as to when i will get over you because
If i can be even more in love with you than i ever was
After 3 years of your absence
After hundreds of days, thousands of hours of not getting to spend my favourite days with you or share my new stories with you
Something has to be wrong....

I wish I could just take a peak into the future sometimes just to know if I wasted all my time waiting for something that was never bound to happen

if I sent you a book of all the poems I wrote about you
if I added all the love letters I wrote to you
would the memories come back to you?
or would you spend your days trying to remember my name?

this is to all the lost kids
who **** time at a pizza place
or a library
just to stay away from home

this is to all the lost kids
who plug in their earphones
to drown the noise of everyone else
to prevent them from ever hurting again

this is to all the lost kids
who pray every night
hoping that tomorrow will be a better day
knowing that it won't be

this is to all the lost kids
who result to drugs
because they think
it'll numb the pain

this is to all the kids
who wish they were someone else
who wish they had another life
because they hate who they are

this is to all the kids
because I was one of them
because I did all of these things
and I know how it feels
this is to all the kids

*a