don't look down,
icarus.

trust me
and fall.

one day
it will be easy to breathe
my lungs will inhale flowers
and honey
it will be second nature
like riding a bicycle
like tying a shoe
like swallowing a pill
and i will hold on
tightly and
with shaking hands
until then

i want to dye
my hair and tattoo my skin
so that the changes
you’ve been noticing in me
look like they’re
on purpose.

A voice said, Look me in the stars
And tell me truly, men of earth,
If all the soul-and-body scars
Were not too much to pay for birth.

the way mental health is treated really bothers me,
you shouldn’t want to be
depressed
or anxious
because you think its trendy or fun.
disorders are not adjectives you can just spew out at your leisure,
they are real things that hurt people and ruin lives.

you shouldn’t fear telling your friends,
your parents,
your lover,
that you might have a serious problem,
that you are worried about yourself.

you’re not sick or broken,
you might need help but that doesn’t make you a bad person,
right?

you shouldn’t be scared to see a doctor,
to see someone that can help you,
simply because you don’t want to be characterized as:
"they just couldn’t handle the pressure",
"why are you doing this to us?",
"you just want attention",
the walking freak show.

with all your faults,
character flaws,
every cell and every misconnected neuron,
you are still a human being.

The world has gone crazy
There is turmoil every where
Divisions all around
It seems like people
Are going backwards
Falling darker into the night
Falling deeper into the void
Living with hate in their hearts
Living at the brink of nothing
Living with depression
Living with despair
Without an ounce of grace
Moving further away from the light
Every thing goes these days
Without any sense of control
Or consequences
People have lost their minds
And it seems to get worst every day
But even through all the craziness
Even through all of the chaos
Even through all of the darkness
There is a part of me that is excited
Excited to see what is to come
We live on the brink
There is a chasm before us
We are just about to jump
And we are about to cross
Even as crazy as life might seem
There is still hope, love, grace, and mercy
And there are still miracles hiding in the dark
We just have to know where to look
To see the goodness and the light
That is waiting for us to accept it
To acknowledge that its there
Once you do life takes on a different tone
It takes on a whole new beauty and purpose
You start to see just how wonderful and crazy times
We are living in and you can become excited to
Living with light and grace and hope
And learning how to spread that sense of excitement
To everyone you meet

I am a stranger to myself
There is a wide chasm
Between me and me
I cannot know myself
I cannot find myself

It has caused me
A deep cosmic alienation
And metaphysical anguish

sometimes i think about
your hands.
they are such a small part of you
yet they are
my favorite thing about you.
i have never felt hands that
make me feel safe and desired
in the same touch.
those hands,
your
hands,
have taught me what love feels like.
now i know that
love doesn't feel cold,
it feels warm and strong.
now i know that
love feels like
you.