December 31, 2015

Maybe she was right.
That rent-a-gypsy years ago.
The one in the middle of the open lawn,
who told us our futures would be the same.
The one we blew off as a fraud because we were so different.

Were.

Maybe she really did see into the future.
Saw that we would get older together,
grow closer together.
Share hobbies together,
smoke cigarettes together,
pick up each other's quirky sayings,
and grow tired of each other.

Maybe she predicted we would grow apart.
She must have seen our frustration in her crystal ball.
The lines on our hands revealed anger and jealousy.

Maybe she saw our futures would be the same...
each without the other.

Maybe we were wrong.

Please don’t say you love me
Please don’t say you care
Please don’t say you want to grow old with me
Please don’t say you see me in your sweetest dreams
Please don’t say I save you during your darkest hour
Please don’t say how much I mean to you
Please don’t say it’s just us two
Please don’t say you will do whatever it takes
Please don’t say I am your forever

I might just believe you

We are alone now.

Well, I am.

In this moment, I feel your space cold and empty next to me. That emptiness is more prominent tonight.

Your absence burns hotter than I would ever admit.

That empty space begs to be filled, but I will always leave it waiting for you.

People may leave your life, but they burn in your soul.

Your spirit still yearns for their touch. Your days still beg for their thoughts.
The hardest part is not knowing…anything.

A glimpse into your world is all I need to be satisfied. All I want to know is if you’re thinking of me.

Do I dance in your dreams as you dance in mine?

Do I manifest in your nightmares as you do in mine?

Does seeing a familiar stranger leave that empty feeling in your stomach?

Do your ears ring at the sound of a memorable song?

Do you look back at all?

I tell myself no.

I tell myself no, because amazingly, it makes me feel better than if I tell myself yes.

You continue on your way, and I continue on mine, but nothing keeps me, or us, from looking back…

from remembering.

December 18, 2013

Words stab like knives. Each syllable uttered slices deeper into the nothingness that is this emotion.
Actions break bones. Pressure mounts and mounts until the sharp, quick snap ends in a flash of pain.
Caring suddenly becomes your worst trait. It muddies the waters of a once clear pool. Give. Try. Fail.
Repeat. Something so important becomes something you put so much effort into that you beat it half to death. The mystery is gone. The excitement is gone. The surprise is gone. The anger never leaves. The fighting never ceases. The hostility, rage, disappointment, misunderstanding, and fury never die.

It is still salvageable, so long as everyone agrees. As long as one person is not at their breaking point, you can always go back. Go back to the mystery, the excitement, the surprise. Effort is crucial. Patience is key. Understanding is vital.

Love lives.

August 8, 2013

i feel the change a comin'
it rolls through like a train
blowing it's black smoke across the horizon
shadowing the future in cloudy mystery
shaking the ground with it's roaring wheels
making standing unsteady, uncertain
polluting the perfect silence with blazing horns

it's cargo is precious, as a new life
options, adventures, potentials, and achievements
are buried in the smoke
awaiting the mist to release

the change lives beneath the fork in the road
and the fork lives deep in the soul

green, happy, new, and renewed
full potential reached, self-awakening possible
black, stale, old, stuck
loyalty on the line
tradition dangling in the balance

the fork widens with each passing lurch forward
each rotation of those rusted metal wheels creates a more infinite gap between
then and now
each billow of smoke signifies the need for action
the need for decision

June 20, 2010

Death is the great equalizer.
It is also one of the world's greatest mysteries.
How is it that one day all is normal, and the next, you find yourself being lowered six feet deep into soil?
It is frightening how little it takes to end a life. Disease. Disaster. Destruction. All can happen in a split second, at any moment's notice, completely without warning. So how do we choose to live our lives? In fear or in stride? Do we take precautions when crossing a street, or talking to strangers? Or do we live each day as it could potentially be our last and never look back?

I fear death.
I fear pain. I fear suffering. I fear leaving people behind. I fear being left behind. I fear the threat of not knowing what comes after my final breath. I fear seeing the world change while I stay frozen in time. I fear being forgotten. Most of all, I fear never reaching my full potential. I fear never achieving what I thought was impossible.

Why do people have to age?
How come we are constantly told to make life-long connections with people, if one day they will no longer be at your side? It is almost better to live a secluded life, so the pain of loss is never felt.