the next time you say
"no one loves me",
remember how its like to have a fever
don't reach the glass of water your throat is thirsting for
close your eyes for a little bit
and see your body for what it is
it is a warzone
and it is fighting to keep you alive
because it loves you
it doesn't know what you are
who you are
what you have done
but with every cut you etch across your skin
as if you are trying to erase your mistake
it heals you as if it is
trying to tell you
you are worth it
you
are
worth it
even if you don't think you are
even if everyone else doesn't think you are

so if you are looking for unconditional love,
reach for that glass of water - clench your thirst
pull that blanket over yourself
sleep knowing that your body loves you, even if you don't love you
tomorrow,
everything will be okay
hold on a little bit.

there is an earthquake
in my soul,
my heart falls to pieces-
to blackened dust
on your floor.
I'm sorry I've made such a
mess
out of my flesh and bones.

I know what I am
a ghost among living beings.
I ache and I beg but have
no tears left to spill.
I said nothing as you swept me out your door.
What's left of me belongs to the wind.

This is an apology
to all the friends I made
under false pretenses
in the third grade.
I beg forgiveness for the lies that I told
because I was an ignorant nine year old
who had no friends
and wanted to be important
more than anything.
I spun lies
and fed them
to unsuspecting children
on the playground.
I told myself that they were stories.
I forgave myself
every **** time.
With every word that slid off my tongue
I imagined the countless hours I spent
alone
and deemed my stories
an acceptable alternative
to loneliness.
This is an apology
for all the lies I told
to try and convince myself
more than anyone else
that I was interesting.
And for the friends who stayed with me
who waded through an ocean
of dishonest answers
to innocent questions.
Thank you.
You found the real me under a cocoon
I wove for my fragile ego.
This is a promise
for a future devoid of lies.

Smile when sad,
Cry when mad,
Hit when happy,
Laugh at what we cant have,
Destroy our homes,
Rebuild our enemies,
Hurt our friends,
And **** ourselves,
What a strange world we live in,
Leave the ones we love,
Praise the ones we hate,
**** the innocent,
Hurt the savable,
Save the pain,
**** the joy,
Free the killers,
What a strange world we live in

Because you were busy I got no birthday card
It's not the first time so I won't take it hard
Because you were busy I was alone Mother's Day
But I know you have so much to do anyway
Because you were busy I stayed home alone
You didn't have time to pick up the phone

I know life is crazy and you just have a minute
But does even one thought in your head have me in it?
I'm getting older and I'm scared that I'm sick
But I'd sure like a visit, no matter how quick

Because you were busy those hours have passed
You're beginning to realize how you've put me last
But time is a runaway train on a track
And it's something that we never, ever get back

Now you remember to bring me bouquets
And you always visit on bright, sunny days
You talk to me and I wish I could reply
But listening's all you can do when you die
I hope that you somehow know I understand
My leaving was something that you never planned
And I hear as you whisper while I lie in the ground...
"I am so sorry, Mom, that I wasn't around".

I miss you

I whispered into
My empty room
Hoping it'd find you

My heart churned heavily
Imagining us together
Bathing in the glory
Of our indescribable love


Wishing you could
Just run
And find me
So we can be saved
Together
Drenched in blessed water

Oh how my mind dreams

We make a beautiful couple sweetie
And despite everything
We'd make a breathtaking child

Raised in His love
And ours

We are two souls
Tethered together

And we will *always
Find a way
To come back
To each other

I have faith
And so
I whisper
I love you future husband

Knowing your heart
Has gladly accepted the name.