I've learned to be completely in love with myself. Not in the form of cockiness, but in the form of strength. Instead of looking for someone to be my muscle when I was weak I decided to accept the challenge of not letting anyone break me simply because I was so happy with myself anyone who didn't love me the way I love myself wouldn't be able to bring me to ruins. I have became very careful of who gets to experience me. I don't want anyone who is not worthy being able to know the deepest parts of me. How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you. Love isn't perfect but love always means respect. The moment you see how precious you are is the moment you put an end to anyone trying to harm you.

- Analysa Marie

You are the one I want the most to stay.
I write these words in hopes that you will be able to feel me.
And I don't mean feel me like "I love you too."
But feel me in the way that when you want to say you love me you will make me feel your love.
Make me feel the way your eyes stay stuck on me like crazy glue when I walk the streets of Manhattan. Make me feel the way your heart beats so fast it feels like the world is having an earthquake. Make me feel the way you feel inside. Like no one has ever touched you in the way I have. Like anyone after me will have to learn a new language to understand the stories I have written all over you.  
Feel me in the way that when you hold my hand you can feel my veins bursting because my whole body is electric and our love can never stop sparking.
But it's as if I've known you before I even knew your name.
I'm not getting to know who you are, but I'm starting to feel how much I have missed you.
All my days without you felt like I was in a crowd and I still felt lonely.
It's as if I'm looking into a mirror, but my reflection is moving differently.
We are different people, but somehow I feel like our hearts beat at the same pace.

- Analysa Marie

Remember when you asked me what my favorite color was and I said it was blue? It wasn’t. I didn’t even have a favorite color until blue was painted all over you. There’s a blinding light inside of you and I know with all the pain it seems impossible to fly in the rain, but I’ve seen you get torn apart and put back together again. I get it, we live in a city of broken dreams instead of building a team we go against each other and throw each other in streams, but you’re different. The way you can sing and make the whole ******* world stop and listen to a Queen. You’re able to change everyone’s mind about life and make the hardest situations right. You have a persona of gold and a voice that’s so bold it’s impossible to forget you. When your hands are in mine you slow down time. You’re the reason why I have all these rhymes and the reason I go blind because you shine like no other. Man, I couldn’t have asked God for a better lover. You silent my mind when all of my thoughts are piled together. I know the sun doesn’t shine forever, but I swear you and I can survive any weather. You keep my heart beating and I swear baby I’ll never have you out here competing. I’m always on my way to you and if you ask me about love I say mine for you is always true. Baby you're blue but I love you.

- Analysa Marie

I don't blame anyone or anything for all the hurt I have suffered from because I know I am the one who allowed all of that pain into my life. As years passed by I became adjusted to the comfort of pain. I made this mistake where I made myself a home to toxic people and situations in my life. After much disappointment I tried to figure out why I was the one who would always end up crying myself to sleep, but all along it wasn't rocket science to see that the only one who was hurting me was simply me. It took awhile to see that there was no knife in my back because I already planted it in my heart. I learned and came up with the result that I am the only one who can control how I live my life, so if I wanted to see a change then I had to be my own change. Own your mistakes, but don't be your mistakes. Be the result of what your mistakes have taught you. It's normal to see the light in the darkest people but as long as you learn that you are the sun, you'll never let a dark cloud block your rays again.

⁃ Analysa Marie

It was the most difficult time of my life. Looking back I now realize it has been a great lesson. I learned everything is temporary or I should say everything poisoned is temporary but the lesson is permanent. I learned that this life is a balance. When you feel sugar you'll also feel salt. You will feel love, but pain will follow. You will feel pain, but love will follow. When I learned to love the parts of life I hated I expanded as a person mentally and emotionally. Every feeling, every person, every situation (and the list goes on) is a lesson. Life has been a greater lesson than school has ever been and because of life I am grateful in every way, everyday and every ticking second.

- Analysa Marie

Everything you have ever wanted is in arms reach. It is up to you to strive for it and make your life everything you want it to be. Change starts with you. Never lose focus on who you truly are, and never let anyone tell you that you cannot do anything. When they try to knock you down, stand up taller and show them you are completely capable of making your dreams come true. No one can take your dreams and visions away from you. Believe in yourself. Nothing happens overnight so never give up. These are your dreams, but the kind of dreams that you shouldn't sleep on.

- Analysa Marie

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God,
I still pray for him even after he broke my heart.
I'm starting to think that I should pray for myself because you only know that I'm the one who is in need of healing.
I fell to my knees as the bullet hit me and I formed my hands together and I'm asking you to save him,  keep him safe, make sure he never feels weak.
That's love...
The love didn't go away the moment my heart ripped in half.  
It took awhile for it to patch and so soon for him to laugh and think of me as a joke.
I can't fall asleep without talking to you about him because somehow I feel like I'm talking to him.
Lord please let this man see the light, I know he must be tired of the dark.
You have been giving me signs that I've been too blind to see.
It's like he was a suspect and I couldn't choose him out of that line because he's my life line.
But he killed my spirit and maybe he should do the time.
So I push him away, no matter how bad I want my body to be intertwined with his.
God, I wanted to save him and be the one to catch him when he falls.
But I've fallen a thousand times and I'm tired of people asking how those bruises formed.
But they'll never go away because God, the only one who broke me can fix me and I've lost him a long time ago.
Is it wrong for me God, to wait for him to tell me that he's coming home because I've been lost ever since he left.
I just need to be in his arms, I need to be kept.  
Amen.

- Analysa Marie

It’s all because of you that there’s no sunshine in my life. I should have known because rainy days were OUR days and we loved lighting. We must have gotten too close because it struck us apart. I guess all the letters I wrote you about how much I love you couldn’t make you stay. I should have known because you tried to erase the words away, but I told you the ink is permanent like my love for you. My body is becoming cold now and time is passing by slow. I’m sure in a couple of days I’ll have to walk away but you told me you’ll be back soon so I pray to God that soon turns into now, but by the looks of it God isn’t listening to me. This home isn’t a home anymore and we were supposed to be building but instead you broke it down. Now every night before bed I break down trying not to make a sound. Now all my days are impossible to face and my happiness is getting harder to fake and it’s all because of you. You know the perfect way to break my heart.

- Analysa Marie

You fill my body up with every star and every flame that sparks each and every bone and ***** in my slowly wilting body.
Sometimes I need to be pinched. Make me feel awake. Is this feeling real? Am I really this worthy of love that seems almost impossible to feel?
When I'm breaking, you are there to hold me in your arms and I was so confused because I thought I was the strongest person in the world but there I was crumbling into little pieces and you picked me up even though you could have gotten cut from my sharp edges.
There are days when I wake up hating myself and the world around me but you were there to help me gain my balance back. With you there is no such thing as waking up on the wrong side of the bed.
You were there to pick me up by my bruised body and help me see things clearer.
You gave me a voice when I felt like I wasn't strong enough to speak and even when my voice cracked you still got the message.
You helped me fall in love with my laugh when I forgot how it was to ache from smiling.
You put visions in my eyes when I saw nothing but failure in myself. "It's okay to cry" but when waterfalls came down from my eyes you weren't afraid to drown.
He said
"I deserve the stars and you deserve the universe and all I ever wanna do in life is explore the skies."
I said
"Sometimes I get lost in space in a black hole and nothing can pull me out"
"Well baby you're out of this world and I'd lose my oxygen if that means saving you."
I always come back to you in pieces not asking to be fixed but you do it anyway. I can come into you because you are my home and I only feel safe with you.
You make me feel like I'm standing on the highest building at night overlooking everyone and the city lights.
You make me feel like fresh air on a cold winter day.
You fill me up with feelings I have never felt before. Feelings, that I am lucky enough to feel with you.
I want to live an infinity amount of moments with you. Good and bad. I want it all to be with you.
I want to do everything on earth with you.
You made me love the sun, the moon, the rain, the stars, flowers, etc.. It all reminds me that I'm still alive. You make me feel alive.

I don’t want to be set on you when you are still out searching.
I don’t want to wait until you get it together within time then, hear how you’re sorry because you were too blind to see that I was your remedy for life.
I don’t want to only be your spring time when I’m blooming beautifully because that is the only thing you can handle.
I am much more.
I am heavy snow on cold winter days and almost way too hot tempered to cut the flame on a sunny summer day and no umbrella can stop me from the rain I become when I feel pain.
You don’t get to come back whenever you feel like you should.
I had a voice that you tried to silence me of and wings that tried to fly but of course you had to cut.
You blew my petals off wishing for your own dreams to come true.
You painted me only the color blue.
I was too busy making a king out of you, I forgot I was a queen, and every time you needed me it was my shoulder you would lean on.
You were wrong about me.
You said I can never live without you but now that I have the chance to breathe, it smells like an eternity without you.

- Analysa Marie

‪My mother told me when your heart beats fast it's because you love someone. ‬
‪That's how I knew I was in love with you. ‬
My love for you is growing, I think I need a bigger chest.
‪I was made to always be there with you when the sun rises and you feel like you can conquer the world. ‬
‪I was made to always be there with you when the moon paints the sky and the world has come crashing down on you. ‬
‪God made me for you. ‬
‪I vow to never neglect, and to always protect your heart, and when things get too hard I will never regret this love. ‬
‪I've been living life with only half of me, you came along and now I live life to the fullest. ‬
Thank you for picking up all the pieces every time I break.
Thank you for showing me real love instead of fake.


- Happy Valentine's Day - Analysa Marie

Be with you again?
I can't even imagine myself thinking about wanting to be with you again.
I'm doing good now actually I'm doing great now. Not that you care because let's face it the only time I was allowed to be happy was when I was with you.
But I was never happy with you.
All the times you had my mind running wild I mean you even had control over my dreams.
It was like every ticking second you were there to remind me of who you were. Like you were some **** trophy.
But you're not. You're more like aluminum foil you crumble the second too much pressure is put on you.
I prayed to God so many nights to make my love for you disappear because deep down I knew how sick you made me.
When I was with you I felt caged in.
Now, I found the key and I feel so free.
I feel so free that I can stand on the highest mountain and just scream because that's how powerful I feel.
I have control over me when for so long your hands were wrapped around me with the tightest grip I couldn't feel my blood circulating anymore.
The boy I'm with now actually you were the boy I was with, but the man I'm with now makes me blush and gush with emotions.
He makes me feel so beautiful.
You just made me hate myself.
I looked in the mirror and it's like I had to find a way to make myself look attractive that your mouth will just start watering every time you looked at me.
That's my fault.
I made you too hungry and when you starved I was right there for you to devour me.
All you ever did was make me weak.
But NOW I'm strong.
I'm strong enough now to look you in the eyes and say I don't love you anymore.
You were all wrong.
I got too caught up on wanting to see you win I let myself fail.
You taught me one thing in all the years we were together.
You taught me that the kind of man I deserve isn't you, but the opposite of you.
But most of all the biggest lesson I've learned that I had to reach myself is that I need to love myself more and love you not at all.
But just know you didn't win.
You walk around so proud to have all these broken hearts in your hands but you lose.
You lose because you lost a girl who saw heaven in your eyes when really it was hell.

- Everything I should have said to you. - Analysa Marie

I couldn't even breath for that short period of time.
I inhaled as much as I can while sobbing.
I fell to the ground and he caught me.
He was the only person who caught me before it was too late.
I don't know how he was able to heal me all those days.
I don't know why he even did.
But I told him...
"I'll love you forever...
On your good days...
and on the days you can't go on...
I'll love you forever when you love me with all your heart...
And when you break my heart... I will still love you."
And he did. Months after that. He broke my heart. But I still... I can't even say it.

- Analysa Marie

I am happy that I've endured pain.

I've accepted it.

I've learned and I've grew into the person I prayed every night to be because the thought of who I was just felt too uncomfortable to even think about.

I can't even count how many times I sat on the bathroom floor crying or how many times I cried into a pillow so no one can hear me. I can't even count how many times I've exploded and wrecked my whole room just to put the pieces back together, but I could never put myself back together.

My pillowcases were soaked by the end of the night. I couldn't even fall asleep unless I cried for 5 minutes straight first. Sleep was my best friend, food was my enemy and happiness was an unknown language.

Have you ever felt your heart actually break? Well, I've felt it being crushed.

I didn't care to know love or invite love into my dark life. I couldn't even remember the last time I genuinely laughed or smiled. Forcing myself to laugh and smile used to hurt.

As soon as I saw the sunrise I just wanted to see the sunset...I don't know if that was a metaphor for my life.

- Analysa Marie

Letting go of someone you love is hard, but holding on to them will only make your hands weak and at some point in time they'll slip away. In that moment clouds form above your head and when you cry it storms. You're going to try to aim your lighting at that one person. He broke your heart and it sounded like thunder when it hit the ground, but I swear if you close your eyes, take a deep breath and trust yourself, in time the sun will come out and dry the puddles you've been too depressed to step out of. Trust your strength in the healing process. Don't ever let a man turn you weak. Woman up and the next time you see him smile and give him the best eye roll he's ever seen a woman give and move on because someone else will appreciate the way you flip your hair when you're arguing at 2am about nonsense, someone else will appreciate the way you HAVE to fall asleep in their arms after that argument, someone will appreciate the way you can eat a whole tub of ice cream when you're feeling down and call you beautiful because that's probably the most talented thing they've seen someone do and most of all someone will appreciate the way you love passionately. They will look at you with amazement and kiss you like they're trying to keep a hold of you with their lips that way you won't stray too far away from them. Every heartbreak is a step closer to your soulmate. Don't pay attention to the people who fill your heart up, pay attention to the people who fill your soul up.

- Woman up - Analysa Marie

You came into my world of depression, and darkness and you cleared it all away for me. Now, I'm laying beside you and I've never felt further away from you. As much as I want to hear the words "I don't love you anymore" come out of your mouth just so I can hurry up and attempt to move on from the ice age you put me through you didn't have to say it. I can read your mind and if you don't have the time anymore to pick up my pieces, and put me back together then you can go, but you should know that I gave you my whole world. I didn't have much, but the little I had I handed it to you. I trusted you when my instincts told me not to and I loved you when my heart told me "not this one" and it only made me feel like a crazy girl. You found me empty, and you left me empty. You stripped me of my beauty, my love, my grace, and my emotion. I am tired because of you. I am physically and emotionally exhausted I can't even eat my favorite dinner. Thanks to you I hate it now and everytime I think of it, it makes me want to puke. You ripped my heart out and I let you run off with it well I guess you dropped it on the way to see your new victim. I hope she can see your foolishness as soon as you kiss her lips and leave them poisoned the way I couldn't have. I swear I feel it. I physically feel the emptiness of where my heart once beat for you. There's nothing there anymore. It's gone. All I can feel is a constant bang every two seconds when my brain transfers the memory to my heart of you saying you love me. I convinced myself that I was never whole until I met you. I convinced you, myself, and everyone else that you were the half to complete me. You left me in the deep end and I couldn't swim. I was left with water in my lungs and you never saved me. They say it's only a broken heart, but I swear I feel myself dying from it.

- Analysa Marie

You're gonna feel lost sometimes
But you'll always have me to call home

We don't need wedding vows
I love you until I die

- Analysa Marie

In life I just want to make sure I'm always being true to who I am and true to others. I want everyone I come across to either like me or dislike me because of who I really am and to those who dislike me will not bother me because who I am as a person makes me happy and that's enough to fill my heart up!

- Analysa Marie

Some days I wake up hating the body I'm in and some days I wake up loving the body I'm in, but it's gotten to the point where I'm loving myself more than I'm hating it. I'm different and everything about being different is okay. The best advice I can offer is love who you are because once you love you, you won't care about others negative words towards you. People will feel the love you have for yourself and they'll love you too. I feel like people try to fix their physical appearance too much they let their mind become weak. They ignore the most important part of themselves and that's who you are inside. Once you're mentally healthy and learned about self love everything in your life will fall into place. You won't allow the negativity you don't deserve into your life. I swear you will wake up with more smiles instead of depression.

- Analysa Marie

Don't be afraid to take power over your own path in life. People will try to taint the vision you already painted in your head and at times it will discourage you. They will tell you the way you're trying to reach your goals is the wrong way, but it is not up to them. It's ultimately up to you. No one knows your vision like you do, no one has a passion for what you love the way you do, no one knows your potential the way you do and no one dreams the way you do. Don't let anyone control your path to your own success. Whoever is dragging you down instead of helping you stand up shouldn't even be part of your life. This is your purpose. Only you know where you want to go, don't let the traffic get in the way.

- Analysa Marie

Every time I'm put in a tough situation it drags me down at first. Sometimes I just need a break. I need to close my eyes and just be in silence so I can let my thoughts drown me for a moment. In this process I self reflect and I know I'm gonna get back up. I'm a believer in love. Love strengthens me. Love defeats all hatred. Love is what I live for and because of love I'm able to tackle anything that attempts to bring me to ruins. Love heals me.

- Analysa Marie

Why does it feel like I'm not where I belong?
Maybe I could be somewhere else where I could never be wrong.
My heart beats for you, sometimes I think it beats more for you than yours does for me.
I look in the mirror and try to see the person you want me to be.
Am I just not enough? Or do I make your life too rough?
I just hope you think about me and try not to give up.
If I was to run out that door would you chase me with open arms and make my bags hit the floor?
I need to know because all my life I've been chasing people who gave up the marathon a long time ago.
And a long time ago I told my brain to tell my heart to stop beating so fast for people who leave me in the past.
Because I told them...I'm like glass
And if you break me your repair is gonna be half ***.
You were the type to walk on edges just in case things got too hard you can jump away from the messes.
That night I told myself if I had to second guess it then he wasn't the best fit.
I wasn't something you can start to explore and decide to call it quits.
So I'm saying my goodbyes to you tonight and by the time I wake up I hope I can see the light that the only person I needed to love was me and maybe then everything will turn out right.  

- Dear you, From me, I have to escape before it's too late again. - Analysa Marie

When I am sad, I pour down so hard your umbrella will fall apart. When I am angry, my flames cannot be put out. When I am happy, I become as bright as the sun it's hard for you to look at me. But when I am broken, I cut you open so deep stitches can't even fix you, but I wish this pain I feel was something stitches could heal.

- Analysa Marie

‪Self love is basically throwing the ******* up at anyone who tries to punch holes in your canvas and anyone who isn't able to see that failed art class in school. Don't take it personal. Laugh about it, actually pour yourself a drink and then laugh about it. Cheers to that. ‬

- ‪Analysa Marie ‬

Continue loving. Love with every beat your heart pounds through your chest. Because when you lose your mind love will follow and cure you. Nothing in this universe compares to the love you radiate towards the ones who love you back. It is the greatest magic I've seen all my life. When you have nothing and when you are empty love will fill you up and heal all your wounds.

- Analysa Marie

I've been there
But you took me here  
You took me so I can reach for stars instead of dust
You taught me love when I was tired of lust
You rescued me when I was stuck
Kept telling myself this love was built off luck
Couldn't  imagine a man loving me for my heart instead of my look
You didn't judge the cover of the book
You read me
You understand me
Never leave me
Never close this chapter

2:43am - I pray you come to me in my dreams

- Analysa Marie

Don't expect a person who has been nothing but toxic in your life to turn out being the healthiest thing you think your own doctor would recommend you. Once you allow someone to disrespect you the first time they will just continue disrespecting you simply because they know you will continue to take them back into your forgiving heart. They will take advantage of your love for them, but your tears and your pain means nothing to them but just a game they love to play. Stop allowing yourself to be a contestant in their game because after every round you're going to lose and the only one walking away with the gold is them. You can't change a person who does not wish to be changed. Everyone does not have the same definition of love however when someone genuinely loves you with all their heart and all their soul they will never purposely put you through pain, they will never keep you up at night questioning whether or not you're enough for them. Once you come to terms what real love is I promise you will fall asleep with dreams instead of waking up because of nightmares.

- Analysa Marie

I learned something about selfish people over the years. Even when they know their love and concern for you is fake, even when they know they will abandon you, ******* all the trust you put into them out of you they will still enter your life just to taste the sweetest parts of you and of course you will hold the door open for them because your heart is much bigger than theirs. But once you are no longer useful for them they will spit out that taste of sweetness they once craved for. They will leave you with nothing but an aching heart while theirs still beats with life. But one day reality will hit them and they will realize that you never lost them but they simply lost you.

- Analysa Marie

I was the only one on my knees praying for something better than right now. I was searching for me, trying to figure out how this caged girl can be free. I finally escaped out of the crowd of fear and disbelief and I found myself. I started off as roots and I bloomed into a flower. My petals hold power and my stem no longer slugs. No matter how hard a person tries to rip me out of the ground I refuse to ever wilt again.

- Analysa Marie

I had to be weak to learn what strength is,
I had to say a few goodbyes to realize a "hello" will come again soon,
I had to get my heartbroken over and over again to become wiser
And I had to hate to love with all my heart.
Every storm I had to go through trained me to no longer need an umbrella for the rain in the future.

- Analysa Marie