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amt Jan 2013
The sleepless nights welcome me in with open arms.

Hypnotized...
Going through the motions, but not feeling.
Half asleep, somewhere inbetween consciousness.

I want to let it go.

But he made me feel like...
Like someone.

He gave me someone to impress,
Someone to talk to,
And a goal.

I felt alive...
Physically, I'm fine. Could use a trip to the gym, but I'm fine.
Emotionally, I feel dead. At the saddest time throughout this whole mess, I didn't cry.
There weren't any tears left.

No anger, no tears, no words.

Drowning everything and everyone out with music with lyrics that don't even make sense.
Nothing does anymore.
amt Dec 2012
And we're
like snowflakes on my eyelashes.
Falling from above,
To land on the smallest little lash.
They cloud my vision a bit,
Because I'm focussing on the beauty of the moment.
It's perfect,
It's different from the next.
Our snowflake.
It represents your feelings for me,
Right here,
Right now.
Blink,
And it's
gone.
amt Dec 2012
"Everyone goes through this,"
They say 'comfortingly.'
Maybe they go through something like this,
But not this.
They don't get it.
No one does.
Sometimes even I don't,
But the burning...
It's changing me.

I want this so bad,
And everything wants so badly to hold me back.
amt Oct 2012
I can put away my socks,
My shin guards,
My cleets.
Soccer is over,
There aren't any more meets.
It makes me so sad,
That our season has ended,
But I am so glad,
So many I've befriended.
This season has flown by,
Faster than a happy dream.
I've had such a wonderful time,
Playing on this team.
amt Jan 2013
If its not broken,
Don't fix it.
If there isn't a problem,
Don't solve it.
Let life take its course,
Because you can't change the future.
In social studies today we read an article about the growing rate of minorities. They kept referring to some kind of 'disadvantages.' I found this almost offensive since I am a multiracial person... I just don't understand where there's a problem... Talking about races is really awkward for me since I'm kind of on both sides of the fence....
amt Mar 2013
She looks at his picture.
"Someday," she whispers.

He looks out into the crowd.
"Someday," he whispers.
amt Oct 2012
Pining for someone who I've spoken to only twice.
Do I believe in love at first sight?
Will he feel the same way?
He probably won't remember me.
But that's okay.
Because there's something special,
Or at least I'd like to convince myself that there is...
amt Feb 2013
Grew up on a cloud of confusion.
We grew up far too soon.

Days of simplicity,
Now nothing more than a thought..

The fog is thick,
And it feels like forever.


All we have left are the memories.
amt Mar 2012
You know something’s wrong,
When the only song,
Is a sad one,
Full blast on repeat.
You know something’s wrong,
When your only happiness,
Is at the times,
You are asleep
amt Oct 2013
I've come to terms with a few things:

Sometimes life *****.
Sometimes life is unfair.
Sometimes isn't forever.
amt Sep 2012
Sometimes,
Turning the page is just what I need.
Sometimes,
It's best to sit back and let others lead.
Sometimes,
Getting lost is really good to do.
And sometimes,
It's best to just start over new.
amt Mar 2013
Everyone grows up wanting to be somewhere they're not.
Anywhere but here.
In this town, those who stick around are the ones who succeeded, the ones who gave up, and the ones who never tried.
amt Apr 2014
I left a piece of myself on the roof
And though I'm thousands of miles away,
It tethers me.
amt Feb 2013
Trillions of miles away,
There are millions of other galaxies,
Billions of planets.

I like this...
Makes my problems seem extremely small.
amt Feb 2013
I don't know what it is,
But suddenly, everything's moving too fast,
And I can't keep up.
amt Mar 2013
The sunlight hits him,
Making his dark eyes a warm shade of brown.
His hair's a mess,
Mine is worse.
I don't care.

Because for a split second,
Nothing else matters.
amt Nov 2012
And the spark turns to a flame.
It grows.
Hotter and hotter.

Setting this room ablaze.

The whole sky will be black.
BlackAndRed.
And soon smoke will rise,
Up,
Into the atmosphere.

And nothing,
Nothing
Can contain this passion,
This desire,
This conflagration,
This fire!

Nothing can put out the flames,
Deep,
Deep
Deep
Deep
Within.
amt Mar 2012
You’ve told me the same story,
Over and over.
‘We’re just friends,
Only friends.’
Well the story’s getting old,
And it’s starting to bore.
I should’ve finished it,
Six chapters ago.
So I’ll close the book,
And start a new one.
amt Nov 2013
Caught between what I'd like to do,
What I can do,
And what I'm forced to do.
amt Apr 2013
Going back on hiatus... Sorry guys. Just feeling really stuck again. I don't have much to say and I'm really doubting my writing and music. I feel like I've set a kind of standard for myself and every time I don't hit that mark, I get really frustrated and end up quitting and being upset and it's honestly not worth it anymore. Writing and music are two things that I really enjoy and plan on always enjoying, but if I don't take this break, I might find that it's becoming unenjoyable and quit for good and that would be tragic because I'm really not so great at much else. So this is temporarily good bye... Again... I'll be on now and then, but just not posting for a while.
I have a few poems that I wrote awhile ago and never posted or didn't have access to Internet... I might share a few of those every now and then.
amt Dec 2012
It gets colder and colder.
Frozen
It's getting tighter and tighter.
Suffocation
And I'm ******* up everything.
Sinking
And the mess,
*It grows.
amt Feb 2014
Memories of the trails on the backs our hands.
Growing each day,
Digging in sand.
Skin on skin and the nights I can't forget.
It's good to be young.
Too young to regret.

I miss the days where nothing mattered at all,
And now all I can think about
Is how I could fall.
I miss the days where I could talk to the trees
And imagine the world
As if they'd talk back to me
amt Jul 2012
Carefree clothing,
Nowhere to be.
Long hair flowing,
Just being me.
Writing poems in the sand,
To be taken by the tide,
Getting a tan,
In for the ride.
Summer,
It's my favorite season.
Summer,
For all of those reasons.
Summer.
Just sitting with my friends,
Summer,
Why does it have to end?
amt Mar 2013
Take me back,
To that one night,
Where we laughed around the fire,
And the stars were bright.
For a split second,
It felt so right.
Before you left the country,
Before the plane took flight.
I don't know... I just miss him...
amt Nov 2014
You're the crosswind that causes droplets to fall from the leaves;
A canopy of green, the mirage of a pale-green summer storm.

You're the steel stringed guitar you so skillfully strum;
Raspy and warm, inevitably, you'll pull me under.

You're the snow drifting off of the lake;
Iced and stony, but nevertheless, fleeting.
Title inspired by Lewis Watson's "Little Darling"
amt Feb 2013
Oh, my God, I feel it in the air
Telephone wires above are sizzling like a snare
Honey, I'm on fire, I feel it everywhere
Nothing scares me anymore
A few lyrics from Summertime Sadness by Lana del Rey
amt Mar 2013
Whenever it was painful,
Whenever I was away,
I'd miss you,
And I miss you.
Lyrics from Sunburn by the ever amazing Ed Sheeran
amt Apr 2012
Old dreams have run out,
New dreams have dried up.
I tried and I tried,
But it's never enough.

My eyelids hang sleepily,
My movements are slow,
Don't know what to do,
Don't know where to go.

I'm definitely not happy,
But if I'm sad,
What for?
I surrender,
Because "Nothing's fine,
I'm torn."
Last two lines are a quote from the song Torn by Natalie Imbruglia.
amt Mar 2013
They ask why I gave up.
They ask why I let them win.
Constantly nagging at why I let it happen.
What did I do it for?
I didn't do it for him,
I didn't do it for her.
I did it for me.
amt Apr 2012
Can’t turn my back,
Can’t look away.
Can’t take a break,
Because today could be my day.
Can’t ever give up,
Can’t turn around.
Can’t look to the sky,
Or look to the ground.
Can’t catch my breath,
And can’t waste time crying,
Cause life is too short,
So take your time flying.
amt Mar 2013
All she wants to do is show them.
That's all.
She hides deep beneath a mask,
But she's going to show them.
She's going to have a reason to stand a little taller,
Stay a little longer,
Smile a little wider.
She's going to show them,
Show them what she can't put into words.
amt Mar 2012
You’re like a tattoo,
Haunting me,
Following wherever I go.
I look down at my arm,
You’re staring back.
I look away,
But your image is still with me.
Now of course,
I could get you removed,
But that’s a slow and painful process.
amt Jan 2013
Poetry and music...
A window into someone else's soul.

I tried to be more open.
All I wanted was someone to understand,
But I always pushed people away.
So I tried to open up.

As a result I've only further broken my heart,
And now have reason to keep others out.


*It's been 13 days of this new year,
And all I want is to disappear.
Thanks to everyone who supported me on here... Going through a kind of tough time... Nobody knows the full story, but my parents aren't going to let me out of the house much or allow me to  use my phone/laptop for things unrelated to school... So I guess this is goodbye for a while...
amt Sep 2012
That ten seconds,
That you looked into my eyes.
The whole world stopped.
And everyone else disappeared,
Except us.
Those ten seconds,
Awkward.
But beautiful.
Ten seconds of flying.
Ten seconds of no thought.
And as we turned away,
The thoughts came back,
And we were back on the ground.
amt Jan 2013
I'm scared.
Terror, pure terror.
He knows.

He knows.

He knows how I feel about him.
How his smile is like magic,
How his laughter is like music.
He knows how I feel.

And the feelings aren't mutual.

At this very moment in time,
I'd be perfectly content and happy with disappearing.

****.

Gone.


But I can't.

I must face his funny glances.
I must quiet her flirty laughter.
Must mend my broken heart.
amt Feb 2012
Clearly I wasn’t important enough,
To shine,
To be your star,
And your only star at that.
Clearly you would never think of me,
As that type of girl.
Never.
I’m your backup,
Backup plan.
But it’d be a lie
To say that I didn’t enjoy,
My time with you.
But it’s over now.
You it ******* up.
So thanks,
Thanks for ruining my trust in others.
Thanks.
Thanks for ruining it.
Thanks for ruining it all.
amt Feb 2013
Thank you for listening.
Without you,
I don't know where I'd be.
Dedicated to anyone who stated up late and listened to me complain! Whether it's through chat, in person, or even through poetry, thanks for being there! It means so much to me to know that you guys will listen!
amt Dec 2012
So this is the thanks I get for saying what I feel. This is what I get for thinking that I actually had a chance.
If only people could love with their hearts, not their eyes.
amt Feb 2012
Thanks for girls,
Thanks for the guys.
Thanks for everything.
Life’s a surprise.

Thanks for the stars,
That twinkle at night,
Thanks for the comfort,
And thanks for the light.

Space is raining,
The sky is our hood.
So thanks for the bad,
And thanks for the good.
amt Jan 2013
Bit off too much,
I think I might choke.
I'm getting swallowed
By the pit in my throat.
amt Sep 2014
The snow moves swiftly,
Silently falling to earth,
Green grass to cold white.
amt Mar 2013
Crowded basement,
Come as strangers,
Leaving as new found friends.
amt Mar 2012
I would never break a promise,
But you,
You’re not me.
amt Mar 2015
We were so submerged in each other's minds that we'd forget about the world around us.
We'd burn the days away until every fragment of you knew every fragment of me
and I could locate your freckles, as if they were my own.
Darling, it's only been a month,
and yet we were so young.
But it appears that we've outgrown our callowness,
and can never cross paths in the way that we used to.
We became lukewarm too fast.

You're telling me you don't understand,
but darling, you don't make sense,
You make messes.

We were so disoriented by each other's lips that we'd get drunk off of each other's presence.
We'd dream the days away until every ounce of me felt the need to regain its equilibrium because you'd send me spinning.
Darling, it's only been a month,
and yet we've grown so old.
But it appears that we left our alignment in your sheets,
for we felt too much too fast until we overflowed with tepidness.

You're telling me you don't understand
but I don't make sense,
I make mistakes.

We'd so frequently be in each other's heads that we suffocated whatever we could have been.
We'd forget that fire needs oxygen to thrive until the light in my eyes dimmed to minuscule sparks.
Darling, it's only been a month,
and yet we are so cold.
And it feels like winter all the time in the midst of spring,
For we were a flame that blew itself out.

You get it.
We don't make fire,
We make wind.
amt Mar 2012
At first love is easy,
It all just goes.
Everything runs smoothly,
Everything flows.
Then it gets rough,
And you wonder why,
For the hardest part is lurking:
Saying goodbye.
amt Sep 2012
I can't sacrifice the time I don't have.
And I can't give you what I haven't got.
But I'm not gonna tell you a lie...
Because I like you a lot.
I have all along,
And if only you knew.
All of those years,
That I faked hating you.
A mask.
amt Dec 2012
The other day,
I saw a bear.
But it's all a front.
Under the hair,
The makeup,
The clothes hides a scared,
Confused,
Little girl.
The bear within cowers at the hunters,
But she acts strong.
She 'doesn't care.'
For a short period of time,
Even she began to believe it.
Caring only hurt her,
And all she wanted was to feel better,
But now it's worse.
Now the hole is deeper,
The scar more noticeable,
The vicious cycle unescapable.
Falling too fast to catch that branch on the way back down.
amt Aug 2012
"The perfect couple,"
Everyone would say,
As they saw us together,
Day by day.
"They'll never break up,"
Everyone would insist...
If only he knew,
That I exsist.
amt Sep 2012
I want to know your inner self.
I see you from a far.
I want to know how you really feel.
Want to know who you are.

On the outside you're fake-happy,
But I know you really aren't.
I want to know you truly.
Want to know what's in your heart.

People say you're rude,
But I know that you're kind.
I really want to know you,
Know what's on your mind.

I really care about you,
And I hope you know.
I really want to see,
The parts that you don't show.
amt Dec 2012
The stage
The lights
The people
The energy
The applause

The music
The costumes
The props
The set
The overture

The concert
The recital
The play
The performance
The dream.
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