The inner storm,
The calamity within...
The rumble,
The bang,
The drop of a pin.
The ringing in my ears,
That never would stop.
The boiling,
The melting,
The breakdown,
The pop.

A break in the clouds,
Let in rays of sunlight.
A new sense of normal,
Where all wrongs seem so right.

The told us this would happen,
They told we'd grow up.
They told us to expect it.
They told us what to do.
But they didn't tell us that it would be so hard!

I miss the days,
When I couldn't reach the cereal,
When I couldn't see out of the car window.
I miss the days of simplicity.
I miss the days,
When I was a princess,
When I was an astronaut.
I miss the days when I could be both.
I miss not having to make decisions.
I miss when stress and heartbreak only happened,
On TV shows that no longer exsist.
Oh, how I miss the days,
When I didn't have to care.

They think their words don't hurt her.

They think she'll always be there.

They do.

*And she won't.

I've been doing a lot of thinking,
About if I should like you.

I've been doing a lot of thinking,
About if I should hate you.

I've been doing a lot of thinking,
About if I should take you back.

I've been doing a lot of thinking,
And I think I like you better,
With me under your arm.

I see you again,
You stand by the door,
Laughing with friends,
I look to the floor.
Hello, you say,
I smile and wave.
I hop in the car,
And drive away,
And though I'm gone,
You still dance on my brain.

This time it will work out.
This time it's different.
This time it's special.
She said,
every,
time.

And there it was again.

As I entered the room, our eyes met, yours icy cold, mine on the edge of tears, and for a moment I thought you knew. I'm not sure what it was... A mixture of disgust, shame, pity, and maybe a bit of understanding. What gave it away? How do you always know exactly what goes one deep within my thoughts?

My head is spinning round and round,
My heart is beating fast.
Waiting for some closure,
To finally come at last.
I'm nauseous from your roller coaster,
I want the ride to stop.
Just as we go down a hill,
We climb back to the top.
This never-ending roller coaster,
That you put me through,
Isn't going to stop,
'Till I get over you.

Eleven turns to midnight.
Midnight morphs into one,
One to two.

Two becomes 3, who is swallowed by 4.

If only my brain would shut up.

There are thoughts,
Swirling around in my head,
Meaningful things,
That I left unsaid.

To everyone who:
Doubts me,
Uses me,
Rejects me,
Hates me,
Back-stabs me,
And thinks of me as a back up plan,

I swear,
Someday, I'm going to make you regret it.

Pretty sure that if we were 100% all the time, none of us would talk to each other.

Today started bad, but ended better.
Waking up from my half-slumber in Social Studies,
I was remind that I don't have to be perfect, I have to be me.
It's weird because we focus on those who don't accept us, trying to change to fit their standards, but we don't realize the wonderful people who do.

Do what you love,
Chase what matters,
And always be yourself.

Together alone,
How could it be?
How does that make sense?
Together alone,
Supporting each other,
For when he breaks your heart.
We are alone,
But we are alone together.

A lot of things I should've done,
More that I wish I hadn't,
But tomorrow's a new day.
It's never too late to turn the page.
Never too late,
To change your ways.
So put your head up,
And do as you should.
Cause it's a new dawn,
It's new day,
It's a new life,
And I'm feeling good.

We'll talk about it tomorrow,
We'll talk about it tomorrow.
Day after day,
The same reply.
And I accept it.
We'll talk about it tomorrow,
Even though we're both well aware that we won't. .

We look at each other
As if we're to kiss.
We speak empty words
And false promises.

Talking.
Words flying through my head at a million miles an hour.  Usually I'm really good at talking. Sometimes I just can't shut up!


But when I'm with you,
I just don't even know
what
to
say.

There are so many things that I wish I could say,
And I don't know how,
But I know that I must.

Torn are my muscles,
Torn is my heart.
Torn is my life,
I'm falling apart.

I saw you.
And appearance wise, you were probaby the most beautiful person I've ever seen.
As much as I hope we'll meet again,
I'm sure we won't.
Your eyes flickered up for a fraction of a second
And I could see that you were about to cry.
You held it in,
And tried to hide it,
But I saw you.
And all I could do was stare as you walked away into another aisle.

They don't notice the way I look at him.
She doesn't realize that she's tearing me apart.
He doesn't see that I'm trying.








                                                                                                                                              Nobody does.

Why do bad things happen to good people?
Why are my dreams highly unlikely?
Why are these questions unanswered?

Some nights I lie awake,
Wondering about the future.
The late night slips into early hours of the morning,
And I'm still undecided about everything.

if the mosquitoes don't even want my blood,
how can I expect someone to  want all of me?

And I don't think
I'll ever
fully
understand
how
some girls
can just
throw

it
all





away.

I know I'm not good at it.
I know I could improve,
But I don't think I care enough to try.

i walk the woods behind my house
and though you no longer walk them with me,
i feel you there.
and though half of our memories are gone,
replaced with a daycare center and a parking lot,
they still exist in my mind.
and in my subconscious,
you're still here.

you're lovely.
sweet
but there's an acidic quality about you,
one that stings
reminding of every scrape and cut.
but me,
I'm resilient.

And suddenly I realize:
I can do this...

Tea is hot,
Mouth is young;
Full of haste,
Small burnt tongue.
Old wounds heal,
But you will reopen;
Built fortification,
Only to be broken.

I'd like to say it's all complex,
But I know that it's just me.
I just want to fade out.
But I can't bring myself to leave.
I'd like to sleep for my whole life,
But it won't go away.
So **** indecisive
Can't bring myself to stay.

It's awkward.
Or maybe it's just me.
I don't want you to know.
No, not yet.

I keep telling myself that I can do better,
While wondering why I don't.

I really want out,
But I'm terrified of what lies ahead.

If I were to the point where I am now two years ago,
I would've had a mental breakdown




*...oh... wait....

I'm not a quitter,
But I don't fight in the one's I always lose.

Nobody seems to know,
The sadness I undergo.
And no one wants to help,
When everything I touch explodes.
I feel so worthless.
So hopeless,
So helpless,
As she complains about the life I wish I had.

All I ever wanted was to be wanted,
And now I feel more useless than ever.

So thanks for wasting my time,

And no, we can't be friends.

I close my eyes,
I think of you.
I open my eyes,
I think of you.
I wish I would forget you,
But that just might be worse.

And there's only so much someone can do
Before they
Lose

Control

Of
it


all

I don't like you
Because I don't get you.

I don't understand you and it scares me.
So I stay away.
Far





far

Away.

On the outside,
I fake to look tough.
I tried my hardest,
And it wasn't enough.
When will someone finally see,
What all of their comments,
Do to me.

"Your hair looks frizzy,"
I woke up at 6 in the morning to do it.

Not played in a game,
I'm the only one who showed up to practice.

B on my math homework,
Spent all weekend doing it.

On the outside I fake tough,
To hide the tears of not being good enough.

My parents are taking a ton of stuff away from me.... Won't be on as much anymore... Sorry?

I don't mind being alone on Valentines Day.
I can't be bothered.
Besides,
If it's really love,
It won't matter what day it is.

They're out there.
I know it...
You just have to wait,
As they've been waiting for you.
They don't know you exist.
They know you're there,
But they don't know you....yet.
I like to take action,
And I hate how this time,
I just have to sit back,
Live life,
And let nature do its thing.

She accepts the love she thinks she deserves,
I'll sit down and wait because I'm not really sure.

All is paper thin
These temporary feelings
Nothing built to last

There are dark parts in my mind.
Untraveled little crevices in which my most terrifying dreams dwell.
But there are even more things that I don't say.
Things I won't,
Things I can't.
Until of course I crack and the whole facade comes tumbling down,
Unveiling the walls that I worked so hard to keep up on the inside.

Sometimes I'm my best friend.
Sometimes I'm my worst enemy.
Sometimes I tear myself down.
Self doubt.
Until my barriers are crashing down.

But they mustn't get to me.
So I build up the walls,
Brick
By
Brick
Until I cannot hear anything,
Except the blood rushing in my head.