He is a delicateness
a tender beautiful mess
He is the softness of
the papers of an old book
He is that forgotten wetness
of shy kissed lips
He is that sudden leap in her heart
when she smells rain
He is all those tiny things
unseen and untouched
Believe me he is
all that I have touched and cherished.

He is the emptiness
of a broken summer's moon.
Believe me he is.

When your heart beats against mine, don't look away.
When I drown you into unimaginable depths, I hear the violin wailing,
through the radiant blue waters of this ocean.
The waters ache at night,
And the moonlight heals.
Give to me the sorrow. Cast on me your spell.
It hurts, and you won't stop.

Please don't stop.

Let go of yourself.
Feel the free flow,
     the free fall,
     fearless like a feather
You are the artist
      of your own destiny
The sculptor of your own beauty.
Let go of yourself
      and flow
      not with the wind,
      because you are the wind itself
Let go of everything,
      and observe.
Each color, a new dimension.
Each second, a new experience.

I wish to study every point on your surface area
Let me rationally master your geometry
You prove your own stated theorems
And I love you like the salt loves the sea.
Our equation has no solution
No particular angle of elevation
Lost in all those likely probabilities
Your place in my heart has no substitution.
Your graph work and figures make no sense
Before the volume of love in my heart
You are as confusing as Algebra can get
And I tried ever so hard.
Your imaginary roots and relations,
Beautifully intersecting truth and lies
Your complex imperfections I adore
Pain from within fills my eyes.
I must admit that I never understood why
We were never collinear or side by side
The distance between you and me is parallel
I know, but I don't know why.

I remember he had the dreamiest eyes I could think of
They were as deep as that sultry voice of his
Well, a charming shade of brown
Ebony, to be more specific.
When he was out in the sunshine, I still remember how they used to glisten and sparkle
Overflowing with wetness which looked like warm liquid gold
Like an ocean of nostalgic summer waves, his eyes hid something.
So much. Another world, perhaps.
Whenever I tried to get to the core of his mysterious beauty, those lips used to curve into a smile gently .. slowly
Without notice, like how the sun rises up from under the horizon
******* out all the strength it took me to not touch him.
He was the Prince Charming on drugs, I'd say
A drunken Romeo at night with ripped off clothes
The love of his dreams is a crazy fantasy, he says
And he always messed up his fantasies so fine.
I would never forget how he asked me to stay away
How artistically he put it all together, trying not to hurt me
He used to say "love is unhealthy for me.."
How delicate and effortless he made it sound
Maybe he knew that anyone who looked deeper into his eyes,
beyond that beautiful brown, would fall for him.
And fortunately or unfortunately, I *did.

I ask myself this
For yet another time
Why I always lie
Towards the extreme.
I know they say
Too much of anything
Can make one sick
And me, I was never
Less than too much.
In me, I store love
Too much, once again
As unconditional as oxygen
As Logicless as miracle,
As huge as the massive sky
And to any ordinary man,
Anywhere among mankind
That amount of anything kills.

Holding a lantern, walking myself out the dark
I found life in the very depths of darkness
Consuming that darkness into me
I feed my burning soul, I satisfy her heart
I see that this soul of mine
Knows everything my mind would dream of knowing
And yet, it sits back and watches me fight
Like a warrior, this material desire
In a world which is wonderful and deadly
Shining like the bright evening star on black
Generous, cruel; Stupid love, blind faith
To tell you, beautifully confusing.
Kindling within me, she screams at me
For every thing I do, confusing me
Now I know not the difference between ugly and beautiful
Pain and pleasure, they have made me numb
And I am just a bud,
Just a bud somewhere on an undiscovered species.
Fighting my own shadows,
Letting myself drown, fall, in love and cry
What do I know now?
Nothing, yet everything
I know everything yet how young I am
So, I know nothing; That young I am
In a world so beautiful, I tell myself
Not to fall in love with souls which cannot give to me
Behind my smile, I am dying
How beautiful you are, how beautiful all this is
Is this a blessing? What kind of a curse is this?
Please, I am tired of falling in love
Fighting back my tears like a lifeless weapon
I tell my soul that my heart is not numb
Do not play with it
I scream "Leave me alone"
How beautiful you are, how beautiful all this is
Is this a blessing? What kind of a curse is this?
Please, I am tired of falling in love.
What do I do with all this inside me?
I cast it upon myself
What would I do with this undying loyalty and hope?
I bless myself with all I have
Do not play with it
I scream "Leave me alone"
How beautiful you are, how beautiful all this is
Is this a blessing? What kind of a curse is this?
Please, I am tired of falling in love.
So, this soul insists that I move on
With a heavy heart, She tells me I am worth
With a smile on my face, I am weeping inside
But this soul inside me insists that I move on
I have a million more galaxies waiting to be explored
No time to waste
No time to sit and cry
I have a million more galaxies waiting to be explored
So with an immortal hope that you would turn,
And accept to take what within me does burn
I hold a lantern, walk myself out the dark
Finding life in the very depths of darkness
Consuming that darkness into me
I feed my burning soul, I satisfy her only heart.

There once was a girl of fifteen
She fell in love with things no one has seen
Her mind took her to places where no one has been
Her strength was her weakness, her mind was keen.
She was as stubborn as one can ever be
None would change her, neither you nor me
To her wonderland, only she has the key
People called her stray, headstrong, wild as far as they could see,
She seemed insane but her mind gave reason
As to why her heart flew higher every season
Nature and all it offered was her nation
Paradise was in the palms of imagination.
Things would've been different if she wasn't stubborn
Society would be disrupting her inner discovery
Insanity which needed not any permission
I am telling you because that girl is me.

When the world is dozing off
And the street lights slowly drain away, I just smile.
I embrace the eternal darkness
For being the ocean sheltering my soul.
I come out of this body of mine
And look down upon myself.
A human girl against this human race,
Singing out to them her song of realization,
A melancholy of golden morning wisdom.
But only, her voice is silence.
And when I dawn into my body again late midnight,
I realize how much devotion I have for you.
Purely spiritual, divine love and wise faith.
You are a blessing, and I realize it every night as I rest.

Crying for abstract reasons
Bewitched by a beautiful curse
I am aware of my insanity
The land of my artistic lunacy
My silence is an antidote
Something vital is missing in me
I could only tell this to a poet
Only he would feel what I mean
But this restlessness, I miss home
What is that noise?
Whose is that voice?
The endless music inside my head,
I need to know,
The answers lie within me
And I need to go.

The cinematography, the imagery,
Visualizations, animation,
Those slow takes as the rain falls over the window
Behind which a girl rests her head
Looking out with dreamy eyes
Eyes, holding watery stories of a beautiful past

The door slams shut and
Out she comes
With winged feet and summer skin
Living in her head, she walks down by
Looks up above and smiles at the sky
She closes her eyes and the camera it shoots
How the sunshine falls on her eyelashes
Down, a perfect zoom in
Onto her lips hazed with tiny particles of light air

He blindfolds her eyes
Walks her gently all the way
The coldness increases and the noise reduces
More
He takes his hands off her eyes
And up she stares
with lips apart and stunned feet
At the gazillion stars chilled and silver
Against a black night
He smiles
covering her up from behind
with warm hands.

The rest of the night.

I need to feel your presence
find a way somehow
through a flame
or a hole
or a spirit
somehow

give me a sign
I'm fuming
this scream refuses
to leave my throat
my eyes turn pale
with your absence

I circumambulate
your sacred fire
but the demons desecrate it

swallow the sky
in a fury only you can summon

clear the grounds

I'll be born again
like a breakthrough

It cannot be silenced
this throbbing hunger, as it burns mildly
a yellow flame against the silhouettes of now

They know what this madness is
this hunger that I talk of, this fire that keeps bustling
the stars are watching me
as I look back up
and they know

My colors are changing into ugly shades of pink
and the nausea is kicking in but wait
hold on, stay right there it'll get
better? worse? what am I dragging you in this for?
Exit please. Oh yes, the
colors they change when the sky dampens
late after lunch too soon after dinner
while I belch my mother walks by
as she tells me to pull my **** together, oh
the good old days haven't gone past me just yet
I sometimes think of my father
and how I should try loving him for
smiling at me and calling my mother a *****
while I tried hard to sleep
Sometimes I think I love my mother way too much
so much that I try to socialize and then I
somehow realize that was an ouch idea
Pessimism is more honest because the optimist
is lying to everyone.

Dearly beloved, I know you do not exist
Among the walking people and the cement walls,
My love is insane, the lover is fixed
Someone unreal, a rose without thorns.

Dearly beloved, you are a work of Art,
Art itself, the universe since the very start
How fluent your silence is,
The moon up there is your heart.

Dearly beloved, your existence is abstract
Yet I feel your breath on my face,
Your fingers on my skin, your warm smile,
A union purely spiritual and divine.

You are the platinum of the clouds above,
Clarity of the turquoise waters,
The whispers of the empty night,
The orange horizon just before dawn.

Then, what am I doing down here?
Take me into your comforting arms
Then I think, how can I lose you
When I never had you from the start?

Dearly beloved, wake me up from this slumber
Show me the way through this forest fire.
Anything but don't make me ask again,
What is this and where am I?

call me at the midnight hour by the rainy window
we will watch the blue stars come alive
shooting down
into the late december sea

I wait all day hoping for a smile
When you finally arrive, you look away
Do you hear my heart break?
I understand that look in your eyes
When you try your best to sneak a look
Do you know that I get what you feel?
Those mixed emotions on your face
When I am around your beautiful grace
Do you see how I can read them all?
The way you smile at me reflexively
Then turn around and almost slap yourself
For taking it a step closer to my dream
Do you know what that ever means to me?

It's early morning when he opens those gorgeous eyes,
Black and beautiful, precious and shying away
Early birds twitter, early lovers kiss
With faded early moons in their eyes
Burning, their thirsty lips, pale their fingertips
Coyly around his neck her wrist
and The forest breeze has woken up
Wailing like an infant, softly into the air
Who said love is a quiet bud in the bloom?
It's a wolf screaming with desire
And gratitude and coldness
It's that cave somewhere deep into the woods
Which you'll find,
and enter,
and wonder how you've ended up there.

Why don't you rid yourself of these shiny
achievements
and sit back without ignoring for once
the blue light you bleed upon the sun

Why don't you want to be more of nothing
and less of you?

I began as piercing blue light that heals
****** wounds and scars
from this human life

I have been touched by a man
immaculate his spirit
his eyes a mirror that hold
escape

I am rock
sedimentary through eras in time
crumbling into stardust
screaming as I reach
the farthest corners of space

I am the eye of the universe
a void that reaches back into the
mother

When you sharply stare at nothing but midair
Unseeing into the particles of space,
When you let your thoughts drizzle down upon you
In spite of the mess that you are a part of,
When you recap your life till yesterday
Those haunting memories you keep thinking of,
Smiling at some, skipping the ghostly ones
Moving restlessly and touching yourself;
These five seconds of blankness
When you stare at nothing but midair
Can either build you up stronger than before
Or tragically destroy all that you are
You know the odds, you know how to win over your thoughts
But you play with the loudest of your emotions anyway.

all these puny feelings
are so misleading
but i follow them
they lead me
someplace familiar
an old creek
the sound of silence,
crickets
and the singing lady
no ravens in the sky
still trees, eerie
the only things alive
in this landscape
are my ghosts plunging
into sea

tornadoes invite me
and i walk right in
nothing's been kinder to me

send to my home a killer
knocking on my door
with a letter and a knife
upfront
he will fall in love
and hide his knife
and give me the world

send to my home a lost man
roaming the woods
knocking on my tulip door
the fragrance is a trap
he prepares to fall in love
his eyes full of secrets
the most dangerous
of men

A time will come when I'm barren inside.
Every sound would remind me that I am hopeful

I am rain, hoping for shelter
I am the running breeze. Screaming, unabashed.
I would confess all those ugly truths,
about living and loving and forgetting
and be fearless, senseless.
aimless, being
just for the sake of being

the night is falling onto me
and my eyes stare at the descending blackness
that first frost touches my eyelash
and I shut them close,
collapse back into the
womb of death

morning's here
and I have nothing

It feels like I am walking on frozen water
With my head swung back, gracefully sliding across the ice
Smiling with my eyes closed, delicate snowflakes disappearing into my skin
All my feelings freeze, they swim through the tides of silence
Yes, I feel worthy of all of this
I deserve to own the key to the heavens
Lying down on this thick sheet of iced blue, I let the cold consume me
What a crazy dream, what a marvel, what insanity is this?
Every word I whisper shouts back at me
Echoing as if the world's a deep deep cave..

.. And everything I touch turns to undisturbed peace
Like just ice and seagulls
Just silence and peace
Yet, so so much more than what they seem to be.

Come sit next to me
and don't speak a word
I will find in your flaws
something to treasure
and caress your unruly hair
when you're miles deep in sleep