i tend to find myself entangling myself in between your thoughts without you even realizing it.
i can read you like the back of my hand.
you're simple yet complex.
oh how i wish i could be you.
oh how i wish i could laugh like you.
i wish i could be as happy as you.
you feel heavy feelings, yet you wont shatter by a single touch.
you know pain, yet choose to not put yourself through it.
you know me, yet i still cant allow you to read me.
oh how i wish i could let you understand and hear these screams of mine.
take my mind.
take my fragile heart.
it bleeds out for you.
i am always bleeding out.
the words seep out from my mouth as the blood drains from my veins, my love shatters everything.
i don't want to shatter you, my love.
i don't want to fall apart again.
i am so tired.
my heart is so cold.
my mind is so fragile.
please be patient.

It controls her
She can't stop it
It's a constant battle
She can't drop it

It has become a habit
She can't quit
It's taking over her body
Bit by bit

The scars fade
But the memories don't
She wants them to leave
But they refuse.. They won't

It's an on going battle.
It's a fight she never wins
It's a constant struggle
It's a war that never ends

It's her sweet escape
It gets her lost in her own place
She gets to control the pain
As her adrenaline starts to race

She grabs it off the dresser
As a tear falls from her cheek
She presses even harder
Reminding herself not to shriek

No one understands
No one ever will
This habit now controls her
As the world around her stands still

But now the room is spinning
Her head is getting light
She falls back in her bed
Refusing to put up a fight

She takes one last breath as she turns out the lights
Then she closes her eyes as she calls it a night

A deep cut or a shallow one
What's the difference?
Crying or bleeding
What's the difference?
Living or dying
What's the difference?
With or without you?
What's the difference?

just realized
i might be a hopeless romantic

sometimes it feels like

i'm backseat driving

in my own body

and all i can do is

watch the car crash

over and over.