Hey look, it's the new English *****

I didn't dare look up
The same words for 2 weeks now
I only just transferred here
And already I had a nickname

I hate it

Eyes stared at me during class
Words exchanged about me
Not the kindest ones either
I was different... an outsider

Why didn't I get a nicer class..?

I was bullied
Alone
No one even referred to me by name
Just because I was from elsewhere and rumours travel fast

I hated my life... everything and everyone.

I was crying in the bathroom after school
Locked the door as tears streamed down my face
My thoughts finally got to me
I started to believe what they said

No no no no no...

I walked out wiping my eyes
No one was at school anymore
Except maybe a few teachers here and there
"Hey..."

I'm shocked... no one was supposed to be here

A boy stands in front of me
Asian, looked exhausted and he wore glasses. He smiles.
I vaguely remember him from class
He sat by the window in the back

No... please don't hurt me...

"Amber right?"
I'm confused. "Yeah... Amber [---]."
"Amber [---]... mind if I tell you something?"
"Not really... what?"

I wipe my eyes and wait for him to speak

"Don't cry alone here.
I know it's rough...
But nothing they say is true.
Besides, I find the British to be awesome."

I stare at him, dumbfounded.

"Um... Thank you..."
"Hey, no prob. It's late... you should get going."
Another smile.
"I'll walk with you if you want."

I feel really warm inside. And before I realise it, I'm smiling too*

"I'd like that."

Just give me a reason to keep my heart beating...

Do you not wish to see the sunset? Rays streaking across the skies and the soft orange that surrounds you.
I wish for you to, it's one of the few times you smile. A real smile and not the one you plaster on in font of others.

Do you not wish to see her?
In person, when you meet her
And gaze upon the one you love?
To see the expressions on her face as she hugs and kisses you?

And do you wish to see my heart breaking?
You are beautiful. And when you think otherwise, it tears me apart.  
I love you and your tears. Your sadness. Your sorrow.
Not because of them or despite them.

You experience so much pain.
Yet that makes you who you are.
Perfect.

I always thought that you could fly, drifting in the wind.
For you are snow.

Monday:
You visited me. I want to say it was because you loved me but even I know it was just because you had a kind heart and just wanted me to start going to school again. You smiled. But it seemed... Fake
You left and all I noticed was that you avoided using your left arm. And when you did, you cringed in pain.

Tuesday:
I called you. You picked up. You sounded exhausted. You just wanted to sleep. I knew you were lying but I hung up anyway.

Wednesday:
I saw you after school. You avoided my gaze. You had two cuts under your eye and your knuckles were bruised and bloodied. You "tripped". Ran through a forest like area and "tripped". I'm sick of the lies.

Thursday:
Something is wrong. Horribly wrong. You said you needed to do something for someone special. I could guess who that was. I didn't see you after that.

Friday:
I know something is wrong. You flinched when I touched your shoulder as I greeted you. Your lower leg was bandaged and the white bandage was a dark black. I'm worried. Your glasses were chipped. You weren't resting well either. You had serious dark circles and a crazed look. You seemed almost like a zombie.
You left. And didn't answer my calls after that. I hate you.

Liar.
Liar Liar Liar
LIAR...
I hate you

You gave me your jacket on a cold day
When you saw how I was shivering and miserable
"Take this"
And you smiled as you handed me your dark grey jacket

I wore it
And instantly felt the warmth
Not only from the jacket
But from the kindness you showed someone like me

I still have the jacket
Lying to you saying, "I left it at home again"
You still tell me that it's okay for me to keep it
And I dunno why but I always tell you that I'll bring it the next time

I guess I still want to keep the jacket
I wear it when I feel lonely or sad
But also want your scent on it again
The smell of you and your favourite deodorant... it comforts me for some reason

I'm giving it back to you tomorrow
So you can wear it again
And then I'll find a way to trick you
Into giving it back to me