Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Amanda Blomquist Nov 2016
The basement of my mind.

   Cluttered with **** storms and broken promises,
          Withered alongside reminiscent daydreams of passed past nightmares.

I stare...
   Into the internal dwellings of my deepest catacomb.

          Unable to process what resides in my literal unconscious dungeon.
   It's everything I've attempted to hide.

To die.
   To let dwindle between cobwebs and dust bunnies.

   Sifting through the residue of forgotten treasures and material shackles.
          They bond me.
Surround me.
   Overwhelm me...
          The unresolved burdens have taken residency within my hindered chakras.

My chest is heavy.
   The weight distribution of disappointment is sharper than expected.

It eats away at me.
   An elusive daily ritual.

Waves of emotion.
   The tides roll in.
          Upon their migration my muddled secrets and hidden betrayals are uncovered.
               Discovered.

My internal stack of unfiltered, unregistered, and unassured disheveled boxes.
   Full of disheveled useless things.
          Covered in a thick layer of problems i'm incapable of handling alone.

Alone.
   It sits unaltered and ever growing.

The piles.
    The filth.
          The remnants of what should have been happiness.

It all falls into misplaced sediments.

I'm a mess.
It's showing.
I'm naked.

    This hell.
This murky chamber of unwanted mementos from failed attempts and lost friendships
          This dreadful, endless room.

Oh, to live in a home without a storm shelter.
    Without room to store unnecessary baggage and all the unclaimed items in my mind.

To find solace in meager living.
   All this weight fitting into a backpack.

To minimize my insanity into a carry on.

   To leave.
To go.
    To be light enough to feel the light.

To escape this cellar.
     To live.

To release my self from my own ideological prison.
    To penetrate the bars of fear.
          To dig myself out from all the things I never want to speak of.

To be free.
     Ahhh, to be free.

To breathe fresh air over molded dust clouds and stale particles.
     To touch without needing to rinse my soul clean.

To re-stack, rotate, and Tetris these piles of insecurities.

To break habits
           that I've reinterpreted from childhood addictions and failed father figures.

To be better than what I've become.

To set fire to this sham of a lifestyle.
     To be reborn in the ashes of this outgrown armor.

To let go.

     To find pride in myself.

To not be embarrassed by my place settings and mismatched knick knacks.

To allow souls into my temple without them stumbling into my isolated lunacy.

To welcome love.
        To love.
    To love even the darkest crevasses of my being...

I need to renew my license to live.
     Overdue and out of line,
           My past self has expired.

One step at a time, inhale.
    One box at a time, exhale.
       One thought at a time, breathe.

Inhale.
    Exhale.
Breathe.
        Repeat.

Awaken.
 ­     Accept.
  Grow.
          Repeat.
Sep 2016 · 408
Snowflakes
Amanda Blomquist Sep 2016
We begin to touch from fingertips to flesh, that’s how we introduce ourselves. We’re naturally compelled to to feel each other’s energy.

My fingertips are encoded with my identity. They are imprinted with twist and turns, a blueprint of my chemistry.  

They extend beyond my reach. Grasping at life, taking in everything it returns. They may be burned while touching the flame or met with warm hands just the same.

My fingertips dance gracefully over goose-bumps and soft skin. They feel the rhythm of deep breaths and skipped heart beats that begin to beat again.

They palpate rough stones in cool river beds. They caress raw edges of ancient arrowheads.

My fingertips have healed broken hearts and past regrets. They mend sore feet and weak spines. They feel for the lone tear drops that are intertwined with high fives and laugh lines.

Like branches seeking light they reach out for love. Past tangible offerings seeking all the things that can’t be touched.
2016 homage to a body part assignment
Oct 2015 · 555
Panic
Amanda Blomquist Oct 2015
Standing here withered, with clenched fist and a dented tongue.
Cracked teeth and a collapsed lung.
My nerves jumping the gun and firing sporadically,
... A million jolts to the body at once.

I'm here, with wide eyes and a broken jaw.
My heart races in anticipation.
A battle against myself.

A war I've never won.
2015
Oct 2015 · 430
Mutiny
Amanda Blomquist Oct 2015
Jaw on lock down.
Bone on bone.
Condemning my tongue to a million sentences of silence.
Open and unhinged.
Still no words were said, for all that solitude left me tongue tied and anxious.
2015
Oct 2015 · 623
Symbiotic relations
Amanda Blomquist Oct 2015
The energy given.
Depleted and mistreated.
As though my timelines have no relevancy to those around me.
Drained without replenishment, no water for my roots.
Only synthesizing the air for you to breathe a higher quality of self involvement.
I'm seeking a synergistic bond where helping hands spread beyond two.
I'm fighting my way through the balance.
Where positivity is borderline naive.
Where I can believe before seeing.
Where the truth in me lifts the truth in you and we exchange oxygen freely without needing to speak of need.
To meet along lines of being human and the same, without the hierarchy of names.
To meet from which we came.
2014
Oct 2015 · 426
Our kind
Amanda Blomquist Oct 2015
I've been there.
Now, I don't know where you rest your mind but I understand the conscious battle in which you struggle with.
I've tip toed along the edge of that razor and felt the pull of released regrets as I harvested my skin.
I've danced with nightmares and hid from demons.
I know that you are where I was.
Your journey is not mine but I know our kind.
Expressing honestly the darkness inside while aimlessly searching for light.
Now, I'm not here to tell you that it's easy and I'm not an advocate for shedding blood and crying yourself to sleep.
I can't tell you when the dark path you walk along will end but, I can promise that there are sunny spots through the trees and although things arent better you can direct things more positively.
I can tell you I survived a battle.
When I was there, huddled inside myself I built a wall around my being.
I wouldn't let even the kindest soul in for fear that they would not love the true me.
Don't let fear send you so far that no hands can extend your reach.
I know you are strong.
I know this because you are here.
I know this because it take strength to hold the weight of a blade.
But, I promise you that it takes even more to put the knife away and face your problems with clear eyes.
Now, I realize that you are not me.
I realized that your struggles are unique to you and yours alone.
But, I promise that fighting is easier when you have a hand to hold.
I promise that there is light in this world even if you can't see it right now.
I promise that even though I don't know you, that I will be there.
Not to lecture or persuade you.
But, to just be with you
To breathe with you.
To feel with you.
To simply exist with you.
2014
Oct 2015 · 1.2k
Sleepy pinky promise
Amanda Blomquist Oct 2015
Corrosive thought matter eating away at what I thought mattered.
My heart on my sleeve, torn and tattered.
An emotional warrior sent to battle that here after.

Anxiety is dripping off my tongue, spilling hope with a heavy heart and faded lungs as though  my love for you had just begun.
Standing in the sun, holding hands with your light.
Fingertips wrapped my knuckles tight, a sleepy pinky promise tucking me in at night.

To see the things I never dreamed and dream of things I never knew.
It's always you.
2015
Oct 2015 · 482
Deep space
Amanda Blomquist Oct 2015
Infinite dream waves rippling out spinal fluid.
  Slipping slowly from reality, the fallacies.
My insecurities beating me repeatedly.
  Filtering endlessly through my integrity.
I close my eyes so I can see.
  I'm lost within this waking dream.

Spatial relations; fading and dissipating.
  Consciously participating.

Space realms flood view.
Same colors, changed hues.
Switches views, new clues.

I navigate mental pathways and imagined dreamscapes
I'm looking straight into the eyes on the unknown.
Alone.
2015
Apr 2014 · 640
Elevated Rambling
Amanda Blomquist Apr 2014
Rhythmic low tones drown out the subtle thought matter that has flooded this present moment into a stagnate puddle of -what-if's- and -what-could be's-

I swim the shallow seas in search of a lurking ego.
To view its enormity in its natural setting, to find the beast and set it free.

Sticky, murky souls, collected on the brim of my understanding, Weighing down the high levels achieved.
Their heady waters blur my envisioned light love, Blinding me entirely.

Feeding my energetic needs through heavily worded ramblings
        and third eye openings.
I dive deeper into internal dwellings,
A cognitive repositioning of what is just beyond my understanding.

My being.
My everything that is and could potentially be.
From the darkest crevasses and deepest catacombs.
To the most elevated ramblings and soft spoken prayers to weeping willow trees.
I am everything, and it is all free.
Apr 2014 · 915
Lunar Eclipse
Amanda Blomquist Apr 2014
Moonlight love bliss.
Resist and exist with Luna's lips.

Deception drips.
Safe ships.
Broken harbors.
They faulter.

Kneeling at the altar,
Deciphering the water,
Making promises to those in which are offered.
It all hits,
Tripped up when the bass kicks.

Lunar eclipse expelling ancestral scripts.
Ethereal lit.
Stripped **** and consumed,
Naturally attuned.
Breathing in changes like phases of the moon.

It's assumed,
That this is the awakening.
Listening intently to what the world is whispering.
Noticing openly that we are just visiting.

Partaking.
Actively defining open eyes with ancient ties.
Downloading forgotten advice
     from fireflies and stardust littered skies,
Scattered on the reprise.
Apr 2014 · 594
Dilated eyes solo (rewrite)
Amanda Blomquist Apr 2014
Standing, surrendering.        The weather tethers at my veins.
     Pushing.   Pulling.    My emotions run high with the hopes of a new sunrise.

     Guide me, show me, lead me to the holy water you sip like its never ending.
     Show me the truth behind every iris that passes my curious glance.
          Breathe in the discomfort.

     Seeking direction in the wake of misdirected affection.
                                                     Faulting to the backbone of habits.

     Falling faster, I pause in the balance catching my breathe.
                                         I inhale everything surrounding my mind.
                         Exhaling all my simple poisons.
     A detox of wandering souls  and self control

     Fill me. Fulfill me.
     Accept the darkest crevasses of my being
                                                  

     Drifting aimlessly into the empty serenity you present so pleasantly.
              Once again I slide further from comfort and balance...
                     Feeding off any sense of insecurity.
                            Craving that whole duality of my progress

           I keep treading the muddy waters I choose.
     My body gets trapped in the sticky egos and messy misunderstandings.

     I'll schlep the dirt from my soul and shine light once more.
            Exhausted and tried, Ill shine...

     Im lost in my own lost hope of withering dreams and lost star seeds.
            I fall away in every cold shake I make within whiskey's withdrawal.
                 Fading in the simple staggers I make and unfulfilled chances I take.

     But, not all is lost.
     I still keep this little light of mine.
     I still let this light shine.

     I'm just a little more aware of the spaces it awakens and the souls it helps take in.
  
          It's ever shifting in this cosmic wake, it hides, it shies, it cries.
                    Like me, it knows when to pipe the **** down and listen to the world.
        Listen to everything it allows.

     It hears souls like you.
                                 It feeds me
Aug 2013 · 1.7k
Your Love is the Moonlight
Amanda Blomquist Aug 2013
Reconnecting broken ties,
mending the misleading lies I spoke.
I awoke to the harsh reality.
My reckless mentality carved out the space you use to hold.
It was my addiction to control, I wanted you.
I had you in my view, my crosshairs closed in on your heartstrings,
I could feel the rhythm of your being pressed against my isolation.
Here in desolation I dream of what we were,
a loving transfer of thought patterns and soft skin.
To begin again. Another position in time and space.
Mentally I trace the contours of your face with blinded intentions.

I'll always wait for you long after I push away.
Moonlight come bend me and twist me once more.
I miss your entirety.
You need to leave.
Jul 2013 · 754
Bedtime Stories
Amanda Blomquist Jul 2013
Hot Flash.
Cold Sweat.
  Slight Breeze.
  Quivering Knees.
Late Night.
Can't Sleep.
    Mind Races.
    Heart Paces.
Eyes Burn.
Muscles Ache.
      Head Pounds.
      Slight Sounds.
Night life.
Insomniac.
        So Weak.
        Can't Speak.
Light Headed.
Feeling Dizzy.
          Eyes Shut.
          Clean Cut.
Body Tingles.
Mind Blanks.

            Crying Eyes.
            Satisfied.
2006.
Jul 2013 · 946
Glancing Iris
Amanda Blomquist Jul 2013
There is light beyond this flesh.
Atoms, molecules, and stardust float freely through my veins.
Just another girl, another day.
There is more within my eyes than just the color they retain.
Jul 2013 · 999
To Travel Beyond The Trees
Amanda Blomquist Jul 2013
Fire lit laughter seeps between the air.
The light shines through the rustling leaves.
Wonder-filled eyes escaped to the sky.
That's when we decided to travel beyond the Trees.

Rooftop divinity.
Luna smiled at my soul.
My body fell victim to the beauty around my being.
I froze, with my head in the clouds.

My childlike grin was unstoppable.
My Chakras bloomed like lotus petals.
I could feel my breathe fall short in astonishment.
In awe, at this moment, I felt.

My spirit giggled.
I laughed in amazement.
For this was truth!

The Light from our sun transpired out from Luna herself.
In the passing of the clouds a rainbow halo extended out to me.
The stars hung like lanterns, trying to lead me home.
The tree tops lit up and the wind rocked them to sleep.

Everything was apart of me.
I was everything.
The Universe held me, we were one.

I cried in the moonlight.

I felt Love for the first time.

Life was tangible.

The beauty was so immense it overcame me entirely.
My mind blanked as I breathed in the moment.
Internally I connected externally.

I wept  and laughed until they ran empty.
I thanked the heavens for showing me truth.
I thanked Luna for being my guide.
...I thanked the stars from which I came.

I am -full.
Jul 2013 · 1.2k
Literal Process
Amanda Blomquist Jul 2013
Thoughts bypass the conscious highway and flow into my bloodstream.
Spilling into my fingertips, while muscle memory deciphers the nonsense.
My pen leaks it's refined ink, permeating the recycled forest.
Evidence of my internal workings lay naked in bold scribblings.
Jul 2013 · 1.3k
Settling Karma
Amanda Blomquist Jul 2013
Time and space divided by all your past regrets.
     A fuel for the fire, to burn up and forget.

Your lies held tight, between your tongue and cheek.
See the reflection of yourself, before you begin to speak.

Recognize all your faults to bring potential into view.
Lives of self destruction in order to start anew.

Every moment predefined, within an awkward silence.
Trying to **** the kindness with your unexpected violence.

Override the system and watch while it breaks down.
Another body will fall with failure and hits without a sound.

No truth can reside within the honesty of a liar.
You're selling a broken soul without a committed buyer.

Fate can't be bought so cross your fingers while you sin.
You have to move quick before this Karma settles in.
Older, from 2006.
Jul 2013 · 647
Ego
Amanda Blomquist Jul 2013
Ego
Tonight i'll hold my tongue.
I'll bite my lip until it bleeds.
I will fall within your shadow.
Now, your ego can take the lead.
Jul 2013 · 738
Actively Passing the moon
Amanda Blomquist Jul 2013
Here.
    In the silent moments of the desolate night.
I recoil into endless thought.

   Tortuously searching my mind.
              Distorting facts, fictions, and energetic nonsense.
                          Trying to understand the synchronized patterns and unassured laughter.

     My eyes plead for rest.
             They beg through ****** veins and blurred vision.
         There's no mercy when you fight with Luna.
  She controls the tides and bends the mind.

My analytical ramblings feed the minimal energy needed to stay present.
          I remain in a state of depth.
    My only hope for riddled dreams is my natural eventuality.

         A fascinating duality of cognitive dissonance.
  A mind much stronger than the body it's been placed in.
Jul 2013 · 2.0k
RamblingDawn
Amanda Blomquist Jul 2013
Social relations.
     Fading, dissipating.
           Regenerated and rebuilding.

Everything held deep spills out over past memories and future broken promises.
     Talking of brighter days with different time lines.

Watching, talking, passively dissecting minds of those like mine.
          All investigating our inner workings and imagined surroundings.

                     It's in the waking hours of the dawn. It's when time is irrelevant.
        When the new day brings nothing but revelations and unfiltered ramblings.
               Anything to fill this  void.

   The morning air feels stale compared to renewed awakenings.
Constantly picking at the scab.
          Digging for one last laugh.
                                        A final smile.
                       The perfect ending for the night we might forget.

      We forge new mental pathways and plan play dates.
Evolutionary socialization.
            Cigarettes serve as reality checks and mirrored reflections.

                         Open eyes burning for something tangible.
                 Awake and unaware.

       Filtering through the nonsense and intellectual genius.
Trying to read the dusted lessons buried between advice and elaborate fairy tales.

   We speak of ideas.
     We speak of all the things that rest on the ledge of our understanding.
        We dream of what it is and what it could be.

All seeking growth.
      All staying just within the caution tape.

Ponderous wondering of connections and false enlightenment.
                                               I remain skeptical even though I've felt it.
                       My mind has always held an untrusting grudge against my intuition.

     In the end it's just another day.
                              Contributions minimal.
                 Lessons learned... Still settling their sediments.
        They're Remnants.
Jul 2013 · 683
Booze and canoes
Amanda Blomquist Jul 2013
Dragonflies dance.
               Branches like fingertips.
     They sit, as if to keep them safe during the passing sun.
While all the colors bleed elegantly onto the shifting glass, trying to reflect back.
          Trying to capture the infinite beauty that so many fail to see.

Ripples spill out.
     The circle of life, ever growing.
               Slowly dissipating back into the whole.

     Last call for sunshine and attempted laugh lines.
Conversations trail into forged friendships.
                    Passing into late night dreamscapes.

We calm our minds.
     Knowing that today was just another day, another step into the next.

            The mosaic waters bring new visions.
                          Ever expanding, never remaining.
Sunset. Cabin. ***** & canoes.
Amanda Blomquist May 2013
The basement of my mind.

   Cluttered with **** storms and broken promises,
          Withered alongside reminiscent daydreams of passed past nightmares.

I stare...
   Into the internal dwellings of my deepest catacomb.

          Unable to process what resides in my literal unconscious dungeon.
   It's everything i've attempted to hide.

To die.
   To let dwindle between cobwebs and dust bunnies.

My breath falls short.

   Sifting through the residue of forgotten treasures and material shackles.
          They bond me.
Surround me.
   Overwhelm me...
          The unresolved burdens have taken residency within my hindered chakras.

My chest  is heavy.
   The weight distribution of disappointment is sharper than expected.

It eats away at me.
   An elusive daily ritual.

Tucked away it remains far from common thought patterns.

Waves of emotion.
   The tides roll in.
          Upon their migration my muddled secrets and hidden betrayals are uncovered.
               Discovered.

The look in your eyes when they fall upon my frailty.

My internal stack of unfiltered, unregistered, and unassured disheveled boxes.
   Full of disheveled useless things.
          Covered in a thick layer of problems i'm incapable of handling alone.

Alone.
   It sits unaltered and ever growing.

The piles.
    The filth.
          The remnants of what should have been happiness.

It all falls into misplaced sediments.

I'm a mess.
It's showing.
I'm naked.

    This hell.
This murky chamber of unwanted mementos from failed attempts and lost friendships
          This dreadful, endless room.

Oh, to live in a home without a storm shelter.
    Without room to store unnecessary baggage and all the unclaimed items in my mind.

To find solace in meager living.
   All this weight fitting into a backpack.

To minimize my insanity into a carry on.

   To leave.
To go.
    To be light enough to feel the light.

To escape this cellar.
     To live.

To release my self from my own idealogical prison.
    To penetrate the bars of fear.
          To dig myself out from all the things I never want to speak of.

To be free.
     Ahhh, to be free.

To breathe fresh air over molded dust clouds and stale particles.
     To touch without needing to rinse my soul clean.

To re-stack, rotate, and Tetris these piles of insecurities.

To break habits
           that i've reinterpreted from childhood addictions and failed father figures.

To be better than what i've become.

To set fire to this sham of a lifestyle.
     To be reborn in the ashes of this outgrown armor.

To let go.

To make you proud.
     To find pride in myself.

To not be embarrassed by my place settings and mismatched knick knacks.

To allow souls into my temple without them stumbling into my isolated lunacy.

To welcome love.
        To love.
    To love even the darkest crevasses of my being...

I need to renew my license to live.
     Overdue and out of line,
           My past self has expired.

One step at a time, breathe.
    One box at a time, breathe.
       One thought at a time, inhale.
    One lust at a time, exhale.

Inhale.
    Exhale.
Breathe.
        Repeat.

Awaken.
      Accept.
  Grow.
          Repeat.
Clearing space externally to open space internally.
Apr 2013 · 1.2k
Dilated Eyes Solo
Amanda Blomquist Apr 2013
Standing, surrendering.
        The weather tethers at my veins.
     Pushing.   Pulling.
             My emotions run high with the hopes of a new sunrise.

     Guide me,
          show me,
                 lead me to the holy water you sip like its never ending.
     Show me the truth behind every iris that passes my curious glance.
          Breathe in this cold sterile air while we dream of something tangible...

     Strange winds come on strong in the heart of the mislead, the outskirts.
                We thrive on the untouched surfaces of the mind..
           We breathe in the discomfort...

     Seeking direction in the wake of misdirected affection.
                                                     Faulting to the backbone of habits.

     Falling faster, I pause in the balance catching my breathe.
                                         I inhale everything surrounding my mind.
                         Exhaling all my simple poisons.
     A detox of wandering souls and singular holes.
     Eating.    Feeding.    Breeding.
             Filling all this space for all those after me.

     Fill me.
        Fulfill me.
     Accept the darkest crevasses of this mind.
                                                  I still turn a silent shy cheek...

     Drifting aimlessly into the empty serenity you present so pleasantly.
              Once again I slide further from comfort and balance...
                     Feeding off any sense of insecurity.
                            Craving that whole duality of my circumstance...

           I keep treading the muddy waters I choose.
     My body gets trapped in the
                                     sticky egos and messing misunderstandings,
                                                                                         in which everyone laughs away.

     I'll schlep the dirt from my soul and shine light once more.
            Exhausted and tried.

                                      Ill shine...

     It's lost in my own lost hope of withering dreams and lost star seeds.
            It falls away in every cold shake I make within whiskey's withdrawal.
                 It fades away in the simple staggers I make and unfulfilled chances I take.

     But, not all is lost.

     I still keep this little light of mine.
     I still let this light shine.

     I'm just a little more aware of the spaces it awakens and the souls it helps take in.
  
          It's ever shifting in this cosmic wake, it hides, it shies, it cries.
                    Like me, it knows when to pipe the **** down and listen to the world.
        Listen to everything it allows.

     It hears souls like you.
                                 It feeds me.
my solo taken from texting session with Dustin
Amanda Blomquist Apr 2013
Dustin
     Amanda

Light flanks the snowbanks
my memory thanks the simple soundscapes
of textures closing in
as walls and ceilings
and snow and sleet

We can blame the weather
but we'll be here forever
cursing ourselves
mid-stride

Stopping motion
mid-explosion

a simple thank you from the
particles we've denied

All things moving outward

The molten core of earth
Our mother

Chaos empty space
Our father


     Standing, surrendering.
        The weather tethers at my veins.
     Pushing.   Pulling.
             My emotions run high with the hopes of a new sunrise.

     Guide me,
          show me,
                 lead me to the holy water you sip like its never ending.
     Show me the truth behind every iris that passes my curious glance.
          Breathe in this cold sterile air while we dream of something tangible...

     Strange winds come on strong in the heart of the mislead, the outskirts.
                We thrive on the untouched surfaces of the mind..
           We breathe in the discomfort...



This is the nothing substance
I'm looking for

Seeking ever leaking truth
of faucet water too heavy

Minerals come to life
and return to the ground
in the instant of
midair waterfall

Weightless feeling fateless
determining the future
on solid ground grasses
fishing baitless

naked sameness

emotion

motion

ion

on


     Seeking direction in the wake of misdirected affection.
                                                     Faulting to the backbone of habits.

     Falling faster, I pause in the balance catching my breathe.
                                         I inhale everything surrounding my mind.
                         Exhaling all my simple poisons.
     A detox of wandering souls and singular holes.
     Eating.    Feeding.    Breeding.
             Filling all this space for all those after me.

     Fill me.
        Fulfill me.
     Accept the darkest crevasses of this mind.
                                                  I still turn a silent shy cheek...



Sea oh double
em oh en

Common ground
from the firmament I send

Confusion permanent
in an ocean

Oh see an end

Painless drifting aimless
seeking searching
for the seam
into which this world
is born

The lifeseeking thread that never ends

The bloodborne
pathogen

Of caring void
and emptiness

Caress you like a stone

Forever there

In the loveliness
of human hair

Saying, I was there

When emotion became
the firm ground
never sinking

Thinking of the way out
but never escaping

Mountains around
an ever growing feeling


     Drifting aimlessly into the empty serenity you present so pleasantly.
              Once again I slide further from comfort and balance...
                     Feeding off any sense of insecurity.
                            Craving that whole duality of my circumstance...

           I keep treading the muddy waters I choose.
     My body gets trapped in the
                                     sticky egos and messing misunderstandings,
                                                                                         in which everyone laughs away.

     I'll schlep the dirt from my soul and shine light once more.
            Exhausted and tried.

                                      Ill shine...



Your light
is not lost to
my dilated eyes


     It's lost in my own lost hope of withering dreams and lost star seeds.
            It falls away in every cold shake I make within whiskey's withdrawal.
                 It fades away in the simple staggers I make and unfulfilled chances I take.

     But, not all is lost.

     I still keep this little light of mine.
     I still let this light shine.

     I'm just a little more aware of the spaces it awakens and the souls it helps take in.
   
          It's ever shifting in this cosmic wake, it hides, it shies, it cries.
                    Like me, it knows when to pipe the **** down and listen to the world.
        Listen to everything it allows.

     It hears souls like you.
                                 It feeds me.



Feedback,
I've got my need back

Shaking like a lovesick
fiend

On every letter of your speech

I'll filter this wormhole
off kilter
into every relationship
in front of my eyes

Until we meet again,

I won't stop telling stories
of jackals speaking english

To fetch our sweet meat
from top shelves
and ruins

Blue and bruised
flesh alludes
to stories unspoken

and broken glass
dreams of unity

Bottle falls

Slow motion

It all seems
like a dream
in endless blue
love tokens
This is a texting duet between me and Dustin at 3AM, its how we communicate.
Jan 2013 · 1.8k
Repetitive sediments
Amanda Blomquist Jan 2013
I'm afraid to slow down, as if loss of repetitiveness allows for sediments.

Mind races, paces.
         Over works its self in the wake of new faces.

I'm begging for acceptance to follow this direction.
                    Harvesting all this love, gaining gems of affection

Scarred and torn my flesh is my own,
                                                       I'm grown.

Up, I climb further into danger's soothing catacombs.

               The shells of un-fulfillment shed with precision.
I'm dreaming of blackouts with a blurred vision.
                                                            Stee­ping tea of poor decisions.

Wasted, wasting, weightless.

Repetitive, sediments, settling into broken dreams.
             Filling the corners of my mind, spilling hope,
                                                           ­        Tethering seams.
Jan 2013 · 639
Skewed
Amanda Blomquist Jan 2013
Reality is fading,
     We've come too far from truth
Lying face to face with the devil and the youth
These minds have been altered,
      These views are not pure
We're tricked by society,
               Thinking we need a cure
Jan 2013 · 970
Street Thrive
Amanda Blomquist Jan 2013
The place between home and destination
         Where lost souls come to breathe
Only the strong can survive this mess;
    It's a harsh world kid, can you face yourself?

It's in the gutters and back alleys
        Where the filth is laid out to see
Jan 2013 · 1.8k
Elegant Connectivity
Amanda Blomquist Jan 2013
Translucent lullabies
Tangled in endless efforts
A silver liner to the darkest dreams
                  and brightest days

Refracting waves of energy disperse
          against murky skies,

Elegantly connecting every being to everything.

From my roots to yours.

Truth in Spirit; Meeting soul.
Jan 2013 · 467
BloodFlood
Amanda Blomquist Jan 2013
...and it all hits with a weight of familiar regret
      The past drawn from beneath the surface
                 Like blood beneath my flesh
It all spills out and i'm fully exposed.
Jan 2013 · 476
DarkNightDayDreams
Amanda Blomquist Jan 2013
Chaotic remedies for wicked dreams
         Elixer seeping past quiet lips
    Numb mind can't speak
Words of broken spirit
Jan 2013 · 466
KarmaCosmos
Amanda Blomquist Jan 2013
Fractals of cosmos
Shifting and exchanging
continuously rearranging
     Thought matter extracted;
                         retracted
Creators and partakers
We are the infinite possibility
Jan 2013 · 677
Old Friend, Our Light
Amanda Blomquist Jan 2013
Lost beneath the burning bridges
I'm choking on my pride
Our eyes meet differently now
Our laughs are cold and still
      Forcing re-connection
Our time is fading fast
Come dear friend, sit by my fire
     Come warm our love one last time
Jan 2013 · 1.4k
4a.m. Mind Wheel
Amanda Blomquist Jan 2013
Stability Unstable,
    Like the ocean tides,
            Connected only through the shift in seasons.
I'm tangled in the intricacies of life.
Alone, I watch the way things move;
How a smile between strangers is pure
How quirkiness is a form of building walls
      Blissfully waiting to burst at the first sign of reality
Underlying emotions shifting every second,
      Deeper into the unknown
I walk on broken steps without perception
My head held captive in the clouds
Without care of destination,
      Yet striving to arrive
Lost between here and there
Well composed
       Slowly witty
             Brightly burnt out
       Ambitiously un-motivated
Spirit trapped in body
      Body trapped by mind
An oxymoron of unconscious awareness
Jan 2013 · 754
Wasting time
Amanda Blomquist Jan 2013
Watch the clock tick as the sands of life slip into the void.
Feel the infinite moment pass you by.
Count the seconds.
Feel age creep over your skin.
Every moment, unique in its self.
Then it’s gone.
Jan 2013 · 842
Habitual Rituals
Amanda Blomquist Jan 2013
Habitual rituals leaving me breathless and exhausted.

A loves lost.

I set aside intuition for one more moment,
- 
one transfixed moment of illusionary wholeness.

I’m tripping over apologies and promises,

- stumbling into my own mess once more.

My throat is dry from clearing the air;

   my heart is wounded but hopeful.
Jan 2013 · 1.4k
Intertwined ALLways
Amanda Blomquist Jan 2013
Multi faceted with a window's view.

Your emotions held deep beneath the reflective panes.
Your eyes light bright in their hollow essence
- and childlike grins chase this wonder.

Your love is the Moonlight.

Pushing and pulling your passion speaks waves against my insecurities,
breaking them down into something beautiful.
I met you in my dreams before your eyes aligned with mine.
Intertwined.
Jan 2013 · 2.7k
Awakening.
Amanda Blomquist Jan 2013
Complex cosmos.
   Intertwined divine.
Emerging energies tangled in vibrant vibrations.

   Beings of light.
      Woven through time and space.
Mind meeting spirit.
    An Awakening.

Truth echoes in the silent wind.
   Open eyes with ancient ties.
          The illusion is wearing off.
        Dormant souls colliding,
    Seeing light beyond this realm.

A revolution beyond government and world order.
       A conscious shift, long awaited.
           Beyond technology and media schemes.
         A new view.
     Simply pure.
Beautifully complex.

   A transcending universe in the minds eye.
Opening mystical doorways into the great forgotten.
     Taking spirit back.
         Claiming love and light for all who accept it.

Nature fueling the human imagination.
  The endless curiosity,
       We are cleverly designed to crave.

Follow me tonight,
      I’m the stars in the sky.
  We’re all just seeking truth
        And we’re just passing by.
Jan 2013 · 3.4k
Triangles and Moon Halos
Amanda Blomquist Jan 2013
In this tangled web of energies
emerges truth ,
lined with golden love.

Tentacles grasp and hold,
striving to keep smiles alive and well.
Forcing back negative entities.
We rebel primal ways,
expanding facets of creativity

To push forth,
To push off,
To find yourself somewhere in between.

Sunken in the sidewalk’s crevasse.
***** and beautiful, the lotus blooms in harmony

We’re here waiting;
seeking.

Trying to balance this chaos we’ve created.

Calming minds and steadying tides,
the ocean pulls by Luna’s force.

The subtle aspect,
when we have no control.

The moon rises.
Bending blood;
bending minds, bending emotions.

All subjected to planetary reactions
and protractions.
Measured by our willingness to flow.

Desperately trying to find solace.

We cave.
We faulter, and give in to the moonlight.


Taking in all it has to offer
and becoming reborn within the sun.

A new birth in the light.
Refreshed and retrieved,
we emerge from our reckless physicality
and burst through in spirit.

Gods.
Beings.
Light bodies.
Humans.
Tangible, broken and beautiful.

— The End —