In my head the fear whispers
Some people are just too good to know
Wait your turn or let them go

I can’t 

To my skin it sends shivers,
Where are you? You’re missing out.
Useless, stabbing, loud self-doubt

I can’t stand it

Grasping onto conversation,
Feeling I want to know more.
But do they feel different than they did before?

I can’t stand it when we don’t connect.

the hands of the Wind
forgot to pick you up when he came,
then left without a warning
and in his place came the rain
(of tears that would not stop)
time to pick yourself up

because the cars still speed past,
as though their tires are made to last
as though anything ever is
they forgot what it means to live

everyone is a contradiction alive
nobody is quiet all the time
even the most silent, watchful eyes
are guarding a storm inside

heard the trains in the distance
whistling your name for 20 years
but you never understood their language,
it wasn’t meant for your ears.

you were so comfortable
sitting in your bed,
watching tv,
wishing you were dead,
you didn’t think twice about where the trains went.

if you are what you eat
then i am just
a stale slice of bread
atop of glass of water
half eaten but half alive
waiting patiently
for my turn to be consumed

if you are what you eat
then i am simply this

but sometimes i feel
as strong as the glass that holds the water

i feel that life is in delay
the moments later every day
a thought i had 10 weeks before
will lead to action in 10 weeks more

moments left untouched by tears
now will make me cry for years
suddenly i feel it brew
sadness that i never knew

except i did,
I knew it well
i didn’t know
i couldn’t tell
the memories
were always there
they lived inside
i didn’t care

so please don’t ask
why there is silence
my mind is present,
but lacks guidance

maybe i will feel your touch
now as you lay beside me
or maybe i will feel it later
in a fond memory

i love her
even when she’s pulling on my hair
even when i wish she wasn’t there
it’s nice to know that i still care

you threw a brick, you
swear you didn’t mean to
i bring these things out of you