efni - Hello Poetry

efni Jun 2021

it was almost over then it wasn't
and i still don't know how i feel

about that selfishly
bittersweet night
being another
failure

28.06.21

thinking of november

efni Jun 2021

beloved

i know being loved
is not the same
as loving

because if it was...i'd feel loved by you

but what if i care more
to be loved than
to be yours?

27.06.21

i don't think i do
i just wish i could have both for once

efni Jun 2021

my smile only lasts as long as i don't notice it

my cheeks dropped in fear
that my sadness would hear
that i am finally doing well
and drag me back to my hell

24.06.21

you call it paranoia and pessimism, i call it protection and preservation

i don't want to fall for hope only to be disappointed again

efni Jun 2021

love me, leave me

i am oh so easy to love
i'll give heart and soul for free
so i am seldom surprised
each time they abuse me and flee
go ahead, i'm quite used to it
soil, steal and break what you need
because i am easy to love and
i am oh so easy to leave

22.06.21

it's not just a pattern, it's an addiction.
who am i now if not exploited?

efni Jun 2021

still writing sad poetry

dear writer of the past:
we're alive and sometimes
we don't regret that fact
but i think we will be writing
sad poetry forever

15.06.21

a lot has changed-
but somehow also nothing at all.

efni Jun 2021

wasted love

shower me in affection
then watch it roll off my slippery skin
a puddle of your wasted love pooling at my feet

15.06.21

you can't protect me from myself...you should take your help elsewhere

efni Jun 2021

sunshine, intoxicate me

when the sun rises do you forget the moon...

does the light shine for a thousand lifetimes?
does it violently tip the scales that weigh your desire to exist?
is it jealously possessive of your every thought?

...because i can't remember the sun, in the moonlight

13.06.21

it seems like my pain is stronger than any joy i've felt.
but i can never trust my judgement with these things
tell me, are the good times as potent as the bad?