You always swore I was the one for you. You promised there was nobody prettier or sweeter, although we both know that was never true. You didn't waste anytime finding those girls again after you left me. And I'm not sure what hurts worse. The fact that you left me and are giving your attention to irrelevant *******, or that you left me and you'd rather try to fill the void by staring at their beauty, opposed to just making things right with me. You can **** anyone and give your attention to anyone. But love is different. Random hookups have nothing on ******* your lover. Love is always feeling complete, whether you're talking at the moment or not. Lust makes you talk to a million ******* at once and still feel nothing. Don't you see? Don't you see we've had our entire lives to **** around? Love is supposed to make you stay. Love should make you choose me always, undoubtedly. Were you thinking of them while falling asleep next to me? When weighing out the pros and cons of us, tell me, was getting attention from countless girls a pro? I can't help but wonder what all really goes through your head. I know that you loved me, and I genuinely believe you loved us. But if I meant to you, what you mean to me, you'd still be here. You'd have chosen me, despite the circumstances. Just as I have chosen you. Just as I would still choose you

I always knew there were prettier girls than me but I never thought you'd leave me for them

There is nothing worse than knowing because you lack my affection,
You search for it through all those ******* who mean nothing
You want someone to take the pain away
Or make you forget how special I made you feel
But,
That's just it
How special I made you feel,
As a person
Not just a compliment on your photo
Or a million likes just to catch your attention
You can **** anyone
But we had so much more than that
Love,
Companionship
Love.....
And I'd take love over a **** anyday
It's sad that you search for solace
In the same exact ******* you did before me
When really,
You should be fighting to make it right
With me

I made you love...

I will never forget the way it feels to rest my head on your shoulder. Or what it feels like to rub my hands through your beard. I wish I would have kissed you goodnight harder. I wish I would have stayed up all night kissing your face and wrapping our bodies together. At the end of the day it's all about how empty I feel when you're not beside me.  Small things mean the most which is why I always tell the story of that one time you just grabbed my face and kissed me. Or the countless times you'd say, "shmile shmalls" until I finally did. I don't know if I'll ever find someone as special as you, but if I do, I hope he chooses to stay. With you, I got so very lucky. Having you as my best friend and my love. Only bad part is- now you're gone. And it's just me

If given the chance, there are so many things I would do differently. Firstly, I wouldn't make you my entire life. I would realize the importance of balance. I would realize the crucial need for alone time, friend time and you time. I would get my own apartment and create a life. Aside from solely living in yours. Secondly, I wouldn't let my feelings be hurt every single time something didn't go my way. I wouldnt let silly things have any importance or validation to me. Thirdly, I would accept the silence needed after an argument. I wouldn't try and make you feel guilty for still being angry. Your feelings are valid, too. Lastly, I wouldn't feel the need to be included in everything. This goes back to balance. I'm sorry it took you walking away for me to realize these things. I'm sorry it's too late

This week has been hard. Today is harder