At a funky record store
We found on a corner
I sat down on the floor
& chatted up some foreigner

At dark
With cigarettes and warm beer
We stumbled to Alamo Park
& watched the lights disappear

At dawn
I woke up wrapped around you
You kissed me and yawned
& then it hit me, and I knew

I am the darkness
I am the thick black mud
That corruptly consumes your every thought
That seeps into the cracks of your porcelain psyche
And stains the self-righteous purity that you claim to love

I am the puppeteer
Tugging on your strings to move you forth
On the sordid little journey that you call your existence
The hand, forced up through your *** to grab your vocal cords
And stifle insatiable mutterings that you can not help but to gush

I am the fire
That glows in the pit
Of your infernal gut every time
You gaze upon the vileness that is
Your own reflection, looking upon you just to laugh

I am the blood
That falls upon the tile
Like God's tears as he gazes
Upon all of his creations and realized how wrong he was
In giving life to those who would rather ****** it back in his face

I am the emptiness
That you feel as you stand
Upon your wooden pedestal, prepared
To give it a solid kick and change it into a stairway
Into an eternity, devoid of any contact from those who made you suffer

I am the guilt
****** upon those you leave behind
As they struggle to find an ounce of reason
Fumbling to come up with a single logical answer
Behind your fleeing escape into the eternity filled blackness

I am the madness
That crawls into those who remain
And wallow in the filth and puddles of self-pity
Telling themselves you're still beside them as you lie
In your darkened hole underneath the sole of the weeping

I am suicide
An act beyond all human greed
Selfishness that claims no equal as those
Who are blind enough to lose sight of any and all hope
Take the easy way out while their loved ones struggle to breathe on

Pain. Deception. Disappointment. Anger. Guilt. Betrayal. Anxiety. Lost. Confusion. Fury.

[this is a poem of past loves lost to time
and space but never to be forgotten the
hurt remains allways]
"LOST TO LOVE"

The days they will tumble
your heart will crumble
desolation will follow
insides feel hollow.
A love i have lost
at a great cost.
My mouth becomes
dry as i sit and ponder
why?

My feet are like lead
they say it's all in my head.
Let them be me and see how it
feels.
i sit for hours as thoughts unpeel
ghosts of the past now assailing me.
I feel so insecure as tears roll down
my cheek.

Sounds feed in and out, as i stare at
a wall i thought i heard your voice
"i love you"it called", alas it was only
an echo from a telephone call.

They say time is a healer and all will be
well..
believe me this is just a rumour, a lost
soft sell.
My heart holds a space, empty in size it was
once filled with love lost to life.
Copyright © ken newman

Morbid nights of endless past and future
A darkness i'd endured in unwavering solitude
A tormenting blight forged with evanascent hope
My identity had all but lost its face

A maiden forged from the scales of heaven
A twist of the warm dark waves of locke
A brown eyed hue of sparkly dews
Sculpted out a beauty divine
A never ending feast, crave my lifeless eyes

A smile is all, darkness be gone
Your laugh it strings every beat of my soul
A glow you eminate, i stray not away
A simple whisper, i waver not from your side

The nights of yore are long forgotten
Unblinking, blinding lights i endure
Hope has taken form, a beauty undiscovered
Deny this you may, an unmarked angel you are
forever mine to protect

Take me in your arms and lift me from this earth
High above the canyon to the towering peaks above.

Cliffs reaching up, up into the brilliant blue sky
Jagged-edged, stark and cold they lead to glorious heights.

Your muscled form, your wanting eyes, your willingness to please
All make me light, allow me to sail as we move together.

Gaining speed as you fly, my wing-ed god, my mythical creature.
Me laying gently curved and cradled in your arms.

Placed on the ledge, gently teetering and open to your knowing touch
To send me over the edge, awaiting, inviting, willing, wanting.

You caress, you invite, you tease me to leap, to dive
Eyes close, let it happen, let it build and all fall into place.

I'm over, off the edge, trusting, enjoying, coaxed into blissful release.
The free fall, the rush, the air, the colours, blue, green, red, silver diamonds sparkle.

Oh to be alive! To know what it is to feel, to live, to lose words, thought.
And to crash! The glorious breakthrough crash with you, into you, around you.

Pierce the surface, white water gushing, open and in....absorbed.
With you, swirling, there to bring me to the surface, to gasp.

Wrapped in your loving arms, wings spread, exhausted
We lie spent, drying in the sun, enveloped in a golden glow.