I thought about growing old without you
I thought about growing old and out of you.

I wished for a summer, but none came.

I was a little girl once
lying back down on a scratchy old blanket
wishing on stars and listening
to coyotes howl at the moon.

Sometimes it's hard to know the difference
between a wish and a prayer
a hope and a dream
between life and loss.

I know what you were expecting.

You can’t remember the last time you met my eyes.
I can’t remember the last time I believed a word
Out of my own mouth.

I shivered in the dark and you thought I was crying.

You held my hand in the car.
Just to keep me upright I was drunk and
Stumbling I was so ******* angry
At you and everyone else.

I forgot what listening to music alone felt like.

I forgot how we are the mistakes we make
More than the questions that come later.

I want to be the moon

and disappear

when everything becomes clear and confusing

in the light of the day

I want to be the moon

become the focal point of the sky

the only clarity in darkness

I want to be the moon

that is so distant that it becomes unobtainable

so even you couldn’t reach it

I want to be the moon

that sits over you and me

when we’re not thinking about each other

Dad finally built
the treehouse
I've wanted
all my life.

Up high in the sky
we climbed,
my brother and I.

Binoculars around
my neck.
Ready to see
from up above.

Up high in the sky
we climbed,
my brother and I.

Up we went
into the trees.
Giggling like
little children.

Up high in the sky
we sighed,
my brother and I.

In the trees
we couldn't
see much
of anything.

Up high in the sky
we sighed,
my brother and I.

Our respective children called
from below.
"Mommy!" "Daddy!"
But we ignored them.

Up high in the sky
we cried,
my brother and I.

Dad finally built
the treehouse
I've wanted
all my life.

Up high in the sky
we cried, "Climb!",
my brother and I.

They rushed to
join us.
In the treehouse
Dad finally built.

~E.M.S.
11/20/11
6:32 p.m.

We need to talk

But I need answers

That I don't want to hear