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 Jan 2013 Alice Kay
Tatiana
Coming home,
to see blank eyes,
on a young face,
is an even greater pain,
than seeing lifeless ones,
because,
blank eyes means
that he's just not living,
there is no joy,
and no hope,
that should be filling his young
soul,
there is only fear,
blind, panicky, fear.
A type of fear no child should ever
feel.

He fear's
where he came from,
every time we get him,
he's covered in scars,
and bruises,
and we can hardly do anything about it.
His eyes are so wide,
and afraid,
if I go to touch his unhealthy face,
i'm not going to hit him,
but he flinches,
like I will,
and it's horrible to watch,
it's heart breaking,
I can't stand to see this child,
hurt.

I've had nightmares of what happens,
to him,
and what's hard to stomach,
is that those nightmares,
are true.
This child,
not even a child,
this baby,
is beaten to the point,
where he is afraid,
of everyone,
and his eyes,
I can't look at them,
the fear kept there,
stabs at,
me.

The knife rips through my body,
over and over again,
and all I think,
is what that child goes through,
that he's tortured,
every day,
for just being there.
But he's not the only child in this scenario,
there's a little girl,
who just turned four.
She's never been to school,
and you ask her a question,
she just stares at you,
not understanding what you said.
She doesn't know,
how to do,
anything.

My family and I,
had to teach her,
how to put a shirt on,
when she was three.
She was three,
and couldn't dress herself.
What ever these kids go through,
every single day,
all I can deduce is,
one is tortured,
mercilessly hit in the face
till his mouth bleeds.
And the other,
can do what ever she wants,
but isn't taught anything,
and she'll be set back,
so far.

She'll never rise to the full potential,
of what she could be.
God knows were trying,
to do everything we can,
to help these kids.
There used to be three
in this situation,
and we were able to save,
one.
It's possible,
but it's so hard,
and I don't know,
if we can ever save
these other kids,
before it is,
too late.
My family has already called child protective services, and we told them about what happens to these children, and we even have photo evidence of it, and all they asked was if they had a roof over their head, and we said yes, and then they said that this wasn't severe enough of a case for them to step into. What are we supposed to do! Wait for one of the kids to die before you will even notice! What makes it not severe enough! Kids not being fed, getting beaten till they're bleeding, not getting bathed, and living in a disgusting trailer, and not going to school and actively learning like a little kid should! I guess that isn't severe enough! How about every time we get these kids they're sick, not having a cold sick, I mean a high fever and coughing everywhere kind of sick! Is a non-healthy environment not worth stepping in to take a look at! And how about the idea that we already have custody of one of the kids in this scenario! That doesn't ring a bell, that we had already taken one kid out of that situation to give him a better life, and now were not allowed to help these other kids! It's ridiculous, and makes me angry beyond belief, that we can only do so much before we have to give the kids back to their parents! If you saw their faces when they went back, your heart would break in two. The kids know what they're going back to, and they don't want to go back. I'm sorry, I had to vent, this was just too much to hold in.
 Jan 2013 Alice Kay
amt
I'm the safety net.
I'm the fall back on,
Backup plan.
 Jan 2013 Alice Kay
amt
Insecure
 Jan 2013 Alice Kay
amt
I'm insecure about a lot of things.
I've got a lack of self-confidence beyond compare.
Never will I ever tell anyone,
Because all they do is remind me of why.
We sit with our
fake faces,
fake smiles,
reaviling nothing
about our hearts
we smile and laugh
at the kids with the scars
all the while making sure
ours are covered
we lean on eachother
knowing the other would never tell
our tears mix with our blood
making a dangerous drink
we down it with one shot
we don't even think
You betrayed me,
You are a different being,
You changed your mind,
No longer kind,

I don't recognize,
Your soul shows through your eyes,
Everything before is gone,
Beginning at dawn,

Then it is there,
Too hard to bear,
Unable to change back,
The old slides down the cracks,

Cracks of death,
Mist so hot like breath,
I grow faint,
Of this truth you paint,

You left me,
Why can't you see,
I care about you,
But you are new,
And we are through.
Cut
Do you know the power for your words?
How they break my heart.
Do you know I can’t see beyond those scars?
That words that might not have been spoken in hurt,
Have cut me far too hard.
And the hole burned in my side,
Won’t heal in time.
 Jan 2013 Alice Kay
Robert Carter
Remembering your smile, its like a dream
Where everything isn't, what it seems
I sit and picture your beautiful face
And that warm feeling, i can't replace

The confidence that you often gave me
The way you love, oh so bravely
The wonderful mother you so naturally are
The way you sing, in the car

Your soft kiss, your warm touch
These are a few things, i miss so much
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