alexis hill

alexis hill Feb 2016

it begins like this:

I didn't realize fall was ending
that global warming brings various change
so when it became cold
my bones reflected the weather reports
till they became disjointed//dismembered
with all the other broken
parts// tumbling along with it.

and now my injuries are representing all four seasons and everyone has got their way, got their reasons...
so I ask the universe this- if the earth will just have a little mercy on me...

please..

#symbolism #domesticviolence #thecycle

alexis hill Feb 2016

$YmBoŁ0gY

bringing it back
to rhyme and spill flow
poetry runs in the veins
and blooms in the brains of many

inside a semi psychotic introvert
lies the hyphen
a hyphen is a heavy distance
separates the language
pauses in between are dead weights
cast into dark waters
like rocks of obsidian

dash-

I stare into oblivion
cry out to the sky
Van Gogh fingertips
a starry night
except the black is infinite
dancing with the skeletons
now it's a sorry night

slash/

I know you just so you know
and I know that you've heard of me
I'm just another common tragedy
with uncommon avenues of
apathetic issues and dissipating attitudes

dash-

turn the corner
all potentials stopped
Google image of this world in a picture perfect negatives and reels with false filters
hold up and wait- this print is fake
too bad your life is photoshopped

slash/

and you know what this has done to me?
it's made me mad at you.
I've walked the map in many different shoes
measured the globe to find its
latitude and longitude

dash-

better go back west
better slow that beating chest
testing limits and abilities
with anxiety comes atrophy

backspace . . .

this is more about sacrifice
and the pain I feel inside
about how I pass my time by
passing time...
all good things come to an end
sometimes
so let the rain fall
let the stones be cast

backslash//

alexis hill Jan 2016

Vagabond Slam

where did we go wrong
I know I can't stay here
I hope you take care
wherever that is

sometimes you makes me feel like
such a *****
that I'm convinced I'm even more sick
you laugh at slit wrists
but you can bite the tongue you bit

don't to bite the hand that feeds you
I wish you fed yourself self respect
so I could swallow and digest it

here we go again
where did we go wrong
I know I can't stay here
I hope you take care
wherever that is

you might find me somewhere
my plans for the future
includes a steady vocation

consider this a vacation
as my poetry travels through the air
I'll be making rhymes and cop
some flows

just hope you're not another
obstacle because you are the fork
in the road
when i need to make a right I make a wrong
yet continue along

where did we go wrong
I know I can't stay here
I hope you take care
wherever that is

yesterday was like today
but today I trust even less of what
these people say
I live in shame and take all blame

it doesn't matter how you choose
to play the game
the game plays you so respect yourself
and don't forget
what you're about
or where you're from

where did we go wrong
I know I can't stay here
I hope you take care
wherever that is

#selfrespect #domesticviolence

alexis hill Jan 2016

Snap Out of It

snap goes the bones and the
self esteem watch it's disintegrating soul
the lies and truth it holds
and the physicality unfolds

snap

the bruises remain bold
whether you can see em or not
black and blue- the color purple
is my camouflage

snap

snap goes the crackle and pop
it's got the veins running on adrenaline
pretending it lacks what I can do is save other people in the struggle
or change the planet
but I can't even help myself god ******

snap

snap goes the heart
**** the insults
**** the compliments
i just want some common sense
I tried to stay strong but I wanted it all
I guess just watch these London bridges
f a l l

snap

snap goes your fingers to rhythm and flow
slap goes your palms to something other than countertops at bar spots
not so fast- it isn't the Beat Generation
I'm convinced you live in the past

snap

I'll be ****** if this is forever
because I have a head full of poetry
yeah. **** me. I can't stop these
similes and hyperboles
literary insomniac

snap

and I'm going to open a map to
snap back into reality
where fear and pain reside here
but one day they won't find my tracks
relax and forget
because Im never coming back

snap.

#mentalillness #domesticviolence #heartbreakhope

alexis hill Jan 2016

No Inspiration...

No Inspiration

"Throw me a word. Any word. I need some inspiration."
"Bleeding strawberries."
I thanked them.
it was nothing earth shattering, mind blowing, or beautiful.
I wanted to ask for a another word.
I wanted a second toss at this word scrabble.
I didn't ask.
so I just used it.

I needed inspiration.

Bleeding made me think of crimson. and crimson made me think of colors.
colors made me think of pain.
strawberries made me think of The Beatles.
Strawberry Fields.
strawberry fields forever.

'let me take you down…'

I thought of endless fields back home. before I
moved to New York.
endless prairie's
fragments of sunlight
colored the masses of moving, breathing grass
my fingertips traced them
I climbed the tall tree
the tree in which I had laughed in.
cried in.
carved my name in.
the tree felt my presence
and remembered me by name.
I asked the tree if I was living was alright.
the tree responded.

The thought of home made me feel empty. so I purged the thought of it from my mind.

I focused in again on inspiration. I needed inspiration. though I had none.

A girl in the next room is playing the piano.
the piano is out of tune.
I wonder why she is playing.
maybe she needs to hear some sound
I need to hear words of inspiration
I begin a train of thought.
the piano is so out of tune.

I lose my inspiration.

I was alone in a room full of people. who threw me words of no inspiration.
colorless words.
that led to nothing inspiring.
bleeding strawberries
had made me think of color,
and The Beatles.
which had me think of music
or the place I had once called home
a piano player lost me
all to which led nowhere.

'Nowhere man, don't worry,
Take your time, don't hurry
Leave it all till somebody else
Lends you a hand'

Nothing inspired me.
no one inspired me.
I searched for inspiration.
yet found none.
I asked for inspiration.
I was thrown unusual words
which produced no inspiration

So I wrote completely uninspired.
with meaningless words
with deep feelings of homesickness
with the music of The Beatles
with an untuned piano.

All without an ounce of inspiration.

alexis hill Jan 2016

yA F€ęŁ ł0VĘ ?

ya feel love?

take a walk outside
the suns not out but that's
alright
leave it all behind and breathe

this is not the life you envisioned
but there's love in everybody
so create the remedy of peace and
harmony

ya feel love?

the place I'm from is full of
sunshine and ******* I call
memories that filled my veins
running within and without me

introspectively I place myself
in front of a mirror
displace my body from my entire being
including the future
yet still feeling love around me

ya feel love?

I realize I was always free to begin with
I'm leaving all the emotions that fill
the air that I breathe
and I gaze into the sky

because maybe I could believe
that it's possible to be the change
and create love
let it be as rough
as the tides take when your heads underwater rushing
into my lungs

ya feel love?

alexis hill Dec 2015

House of Cards

I built this house
of cards
used my own two hands
to build it

used a poor foundation to
begin with
so it collapsed like London bridges

I was the only witness
of its self destruction
pieces falling
falling pieces

falling fast asleep
on pins and needles
sleepless nights and
helpless feelings

feeling done
stacking each and every one
one by one
the shards of
broken hopes and dreams
have just begun

building freshly
from the
ground up to to make
things level
the Ace of spades
becomes my shovel

so then I'm
shredding and tearing up
the floorboards, cupboards
hardened dry wall apart

some come
some go
the door is open
you may not stay
for long

If I had the chance
I too would depart

yet I reside within
those four fragile walls

welcome,
to my
house of cards...