Don't think I don't notice when you look my way,
Just standing there, like you got something to say,
Like a girl who's looking for someone new,
Like a girl looking for something to do,
And I heard the word that's going around town,
That your last lover been putting you down,
But, if you get with me it won't be long,
Because I ain't gonna let you lead me along.

Your heart's been broken and you're on the make,
Heart's broken and you're looking for one to break,
The real world to you has never been so kind,
Now you're searchin' to see what you can find,
But if you're looking to do me like you've been done,
I can tell you I ain't gonna be be the one,
Don't go messing where you don't belong,
Because I ain't gonna let you lead me along.

Love to you has always been just a game,
Let me tell you, I can play just the same,
I've been heartbroken many times too,
And the next time ain't gonna be by you,
Because the games you play ain't too cool,
And I'm not going to be your next fool,
So don't go messin' where you don't belong,
Because I ain't gonna let you lead me along.

01-02-11.

I guess I really can’t blame them.
How could they be expected to know the truth,
When all they see is some well-rehearsed smile,
That I have been putting on in the morning,
Like a clean shirt.
I think I have it down to a science,
I’ve been doing it for so long.
I’ve polished my act to where I almost fool myself sometimes,
Yet at times the sadness slips through to the world.
My mother asked me the other day if I was doing drugs again,
As if that ever really worked,
Things should really be that easy for just once,
I think to myself, ‘How could they not know?’
And yet at times I think maybe I should just tell them.
But, how do you express the hurt that goes deep inside?
How do you express how you really feel?
When you don’t know how you really feel yourself.
Sometimes I just feel so numb to the world,
Or maybe, it’s just the fear of the unknown,
As if it could really get any worse.
Maybe I’m just afraid of giving up my hurt,
When at times it seems that hurting is all I’ve got.
Perhaps the only thing I do well.
Yet at times I’d really like to tell someone,
But how could I make them understand?
Sometimes I think I should just hold up a big neon sign,
That says ‘Hurting’ in big, bright letters.
All electric blue with just a tinge of blood red,
And then maybe someone will notice,
And then maybe someone will care,
But then again, why should they?
Why should they care?
After all, it’s not their job,
They don’t get paid to care.
But wait…I know what I’ll do.
As the storms begin to build inside my head,
Like a thief robbing me of any peace I might have had,
And as the thunder starts to clamor in my mind,
It’s very dissonance drowning my every thought,
I’ll walk boldly into those very storms,
With my neon sign held high above my head,
And as the thunder bursts around me,
And the pouring rain soaks me to the skin,
And when the lightning bolts brighten up the sky,
I will no longer fear a thing,
For as the lightning strikes my neon sign,
And the electric shocks surge through my rain soaked body,
And the pain overtakes me from head to toe,
It will be the first time I’ve really felt anything in years,
Perhaps for the first time ever.
And as the last bit of life drains from my wet body,
I will be free at last.
And as my soul leaves my lifeless form,
To venture forth into the unknown,
And the unknown will welcome me with open arms,
Taking me in like a true friend,
And the unknown will provide me with shelter and comfort,
Perhaps for the first time ever.
And as the rains continue to pour down upon me,
All the hurt shall be washed away,
And all the pain shall be felt no more,
For all my struggles shall cease in an instant,
And every unrequited love shall remain so,
And every broken promise shall remain broken,
And all the hatred directed towards me shall miss its mark,
And every resentment harbored shall be set aside,
And every tear shall be forced to find a new home,
And as I look down upon my dead body,
I can watch all my so-called friends gather round,
They’ll probably rummage through my pockets,
And fight over who gets my new sneakers,
Then again, why should they care?
After all, it’s not their job.

12-13-10.

Party favors do not a party make,
Nor that fancy bakery cake,
It's not the table set so fine,
Nor that bottle of expensive wine,
Not china set on polished wood,
Or gourmet food that tastes so good.

What matters is the people gathered there,
Family and friends you know who care,
With whom you can share a laugh and a smile,
It's what truly makes life worthwhile,
For with time spent with loved ones you can be sure,
Of cherished memories that will always endure.

11-30-10b.

When life hands you so much sorrow and pain,
And takes so much with little to gain,
You're like a train that somehow left the track,
Can we ever get the good times back?

Do you recall when the world was so new?
And there seemed no limit to what we could do,
Harking back to those simpler times,
Of children's books and nursery rhymes.

Can you remember those simple joys?
Childhood dreams and children's toys,
How did we ever lose our way?
Can we ever get back to that day?

Yet somehow those dreams all have faded,
Have we really become that jaded?
The only cure for lost love is a love that's new,
The only love that matters is a love that's true.

And here we are, two souls destined to meet,
Why should we ever accept defeat?
For us our lives have just begun,
We can do this together, let me be the one.

11-24-10.

The making of a ***** martini is truly an art,
***** and vermouth are merely a start,
But follow my advice and you can depend,
On achieving perfection in the end.

First the martini glasses should be filled,
With a little ice to ensure they're chilled,
Your next step as the martini maker,
Is to put some ice in the shaker.

Next pour in the *****, a premium kind,
For the perfect martini, use the best you can find,
Just a dash of vermouth is all it should take,
For the best martini you can make.

For a drink that's smooth and never rough,
The next step I just can't stress enough,
Grab the olive juice and begin to pour,
And if you think it's plenty, pour some more.

Put the lid on the shaker and give a few shakes,
Just a few seconds is really all it takes,
Now take the glasses and dump the ice,
And add a couple olives, plump and nice.

Then over those olives you can begin to pour,
And then start to savor what's in store,
For if you follow this little rhyme,
You'll have the perfect martini every time.

11-08-10b.

Why is it you run and hide?
And never show the hurt inside,
Where does all that suffering go?
The wounds that you refuse to show.

Locked like a prisoner in a cell,
Alone to bear your personal Hell,
A Hell from which you can't escape,
But really, it's your chosen fate.

Pain that eats you from the inside out,
Filling up your whole life with doubt,
You just can't do it on your own,
You were never meant to suffer alone.

Because when life's too much to bear,
That's the time for your burden to share,
Open your heart and let someone in,
Only then can the healing begin.

10-23-10.

Went to a casino the other day,
A game of hold 'em I was hopin' to play,
Entered the poker room and looked around,
Found me a seat and sat right down.

As I laid down my chips and started to play,
I hoped that luck would come my way,
For a while the cards were running cold,
Most of my moves were check and fold.

As the game continued on,
I realized half my chips were gone,
But before it could go from bad to worse,
I saw my luck was about to reverse.

For as I sat among those expressionless faces,
I was suddenly holding a pair of aces,
I knew the bank I soon would crack,
With this chance to win my money back.

As the dealer took three off the top,
And laid on down that three card flop,
My heart had suddenly started to sing,
As I saw on the table an ace and a king.

Now with aces three of a kind,
Thoughts of riches went through my mind,
With my luck now running hot,
I tossed a pile of chips in the ***.

As the dealer laid down another card,
Everybody stared real hard,
It was just me and another who called my bet,
And I didn't see him as a threat.

The final card thrown in the ring,
Happened to be another king,
Suddenly I couldn't help but gloat,
As I was holding a full boat.

With the full house I was holding,
There was no way I was folding,
With aces over I had to win,
So I decided I should go all-in.

For a moment I was in a daze,
As the other player called my raise,
But with confidence I began to stand,
And showed the full house in my hand.

The other player didn't say a word,
Sounds of silence was all that was heard,
As he exposed two kings, it really blew my mind,
My full house was beat by four of a kind.

I sat back down with a look of defeat,
After suffering such a bad beat,
And all my money having been spent,
I wondered how I'd pay the rent.

I thought of how I'd tell my wife,
And if she'd come after me with a knife,
I thought of ways to recoup my loss,
Like asking for an advance from my boss.

Lady Luck had done me wrong,
Left me singing this sad, sad song,
Some days you win, some days you lose,
Some days you sing them poker blues.

10-30-10a.