I'm a cool cat
Who likes to ****
The smooth jazz
That dances off my pen
Compliments
The 'garette I smoke

The dance of pen to pad
The movement
The shake
Rumble
Makes my fingers snap
And my feet tap.

I take a moment,
I close my eyes.
Darkness overcomes me.
There is a slight breeze.
My hair is blowing about my face.
I hear distant wind chimes.
The chains rustle in my ear,
As the wind sways my swing side to side.
A siren is heard.
It gets louder as I listen.
But I know a chain link fence separates me from the street.
From reality.
I smell the familiar smell,
The smell just before it rains.
I smell my neighbors smoking ***.
I hear the yelling they always do.
I block it all out.
I take a breath.
I let go of the world.
A cold wet drop hits my cheek.
Another hits my hand.
I don't hardly feel them.
The gates of the clouds open wide.
My body damp,
My cloths heavy.
Thunder echoes throughout the air.
Leaves above me are whipping about.
Someone calls out my name.
They are too quiet to be close to me.
My eyes remain closed.
I do not call out back.
I'm drowning in my own tears,
Washed away by the rain overwhelming me.
I let go of the chains I've been gripping.
I fall through the air.
Mud, it's all over me.
I don't dare open my eyes.
I lay among the leaves,
Scattered in the muddy puddles.
I feel nothing.
I lay.
I listen.
I hear crunching.
Someone near me walks through the leaves.
Fingers grasp me.
They pull me to my feet.
Hands shake me.
I will not open my eyes.
Arms wrap around me.
They pick my tired body up.
My father carries me.
I know not were we go.
But I shall not open my eyes.
Not now.
Not ever...

Death doesn't scare me
I'm afraid of what I'll miss
If I'll be missed
But I am afraid to lose people
Lose relationships
Life is about moments
About being devoted
Death comes along
And you hope you are strong
But we never know
If I tell you I love you
You know I mean it
Don't leave it
And if you know its coming
Do you run from it?
Or is embracing it to scary?
Holy Marry
Protect the ones I love
And the ones up above
I do not wish to live in fear
When my time is near
I will open my arms and accept my final moments
Because life is about doing what you love
So when you leave
You leave happy
Moments are not moments until you kiss the sun and hold it
Being 100% content with everything
Feeling weightless and at ease
Death is not a scary thing
I would rather die young and happy
Then live a long life full of numbness
And you can't judge a persons life based on their time frame
You look at how they made things change
How they spent each day
I say this because at one time I didn't treasure life
I regretted every decision I made
I didn't want to fight
Because death is easy
Life... is what we need to be afraid of

when you died
i threw your skeleton into my closet
because i couldn't let go of the boy
who told me i didn't need skinny legs
to be beautiful and that it was okay to
drink water when everyone else was
drinking beer

but your skeleton has skinnier legs
than i do and i'm left getting drunk
off old photographs and songs that
sing the words that you used to sing
to me when we sat in parking lots
on wednesday nights doing nothing but
laughing and not saying what we really
wanted to say

i like you a lot
i love you more
i hate you sometimes
please don't leave
i'm really going to miss you

i locked myself in the closet yesterday
with your skeleton
with the memories
i could hear you laugh and
things were okay
(for once)

I have nightmares sometimes
It’s a weird feeling to drown… even when it’s in your sleep
Water is a part of life
We need it to survive
And yet this fear grows with each passing moment
Once my eyes close the water seems to rise out of nothing
Suddenly I’m drowning
I thrash for what seems like eternity
But slowly I feel the energy drain from my body
My lungs screaming for air burn inside me
It’s scary to be drowning,
But its even more terrifying when you have to give up
I slowly move my hand towards the surface
Stretching out to eternity
The sun sparking above
How could something so beautiful be in a nightmare?
Slowly the pain subsides
My body relaxes as everything goes numb
With a sinking feeling I let out the last thread of life I had
The bubbles rise from my dying lips
Slowly they travel up to the very place I wish I could go
My eyes droop, and slowly I sink to the bottom
To nothing
This is my fear