I'm the kind of girl that doesn't put down the sun visor while driving, even though the sun is clearly in my eyes
I'd rather be blinded by the sun than ever miss out on a section of what's been painted over the mountains around me... for me, some days I think.

I think my visions so bad from staring at the sun
It's something I can't help, I swear to you, I've tried
And I don't see how it's an easy task for anyone
To look away from the sun and tell your monsters to hide


If I wrote all the things that I've thought behind the wheel,
Maybe I'd be known for telling people how I feel
Mind in motion, not knowing, giving thought only to the lines on the road
How could the words that I utter be
from anywhere but the truest parts of me?

If I told you I wrote this while sleeping
would it fill it with more meaning?
Would you give it a thought
and think maybe I'm not
as crazy as you think

If I'm sounding pretentious,
allow me to mention,
I haven't slept in three days
And in addition,
I should also mention,
I just do this,
and not to get paid

What do I get
out of throwing a fit
and throwing words on a page
out of rage?
To tell you how I feel
attempting to be real
but how I feel
and what I'm saying
are still not
the same

         I'm a fake
         I'm a fake
         I'm a fake

Do you understand anything I say?

"But you're great!
        You're great!
        You're great!"

Do you even understand anything I say?

I don’t want to come to terms with my mind

I’m scared of what in it I may find

A ticking time bomb

starting at a thousand

Now stuck on one

A rope from what used to be

A carefully twisted knot

ready to come undone

A well that’s run dry

A simple tear from my blue eyes

An empty skull

with no recollection of what used to be

No, don’t make me look

I don’t want to see

I don’t want to know what’s inside of me

The host of a zombie

I am not what I think

Looking in the mirror

A new image with every blink

Even if I wanted to know

What inside of me may grow

It’s impossible for me

To find out what I may be

I’m a multitude of things

My mind's a flashing picture screen

We spent all summer together.
I slept til noon every day, which now I regret because I realize I could have spent more time with you then I did, but each day I woke up, I woke up to a phonecall with a voicemail to follow it up.
You would say “hey babe, it’s me” because you knew I had your voice memorized.
And even if I hadn’t, I had memorized the pattern we spent our summer following.
You’d call me while I was sleeping and wait til I woke up, and I’d call you before I blinked for the first time that day.
You could never wait for me to get ready, so you’d come and watch me as I picked out my outfit and put on my makeup while you proceeded to tell me each and every day that I never needed it.
But August of that summer, you left.
You went to bootcamp.
I wrote you every single day, multiple times a day.
And you replied when you got the chance, which wasn’t often but understandable.
And even though you are hers now, I keep those 12 letters you wrote me those 10 weeks away from home in a wooden box on top of my dresser because knowing they’re there brings me back to you.
To that summer we were so happy and in love.
That summer you took my heart.
And that same summer you never gave it back.

Let me
          dream of
                          beasts
                                    in bed.

Let me
            swallow
                          the blackness
                                            of delusion again.  

Let me
             listen to
                          the
                              quiet sound
of your heart
b
e
a
t
i
n
g

as I
        drift
               off
                    into a
                               land of
                                         perpetual
                                                         tranquility.


Drifting
and
drifting
and
drifting
once
more.

I find


myself



falling


into an



arbitrary



rabid



battle




with

myself.



Falling.





Falling.




Falling.





Falling.




And




then






suddenly




Stop.

No.


I don't wish to stop.


My

eyelids

open

to frantically

scan my

new                                                      surroundings,

                                                                                     that

is yet                                                                                    another



illusion of
                                                                                              myself.



Is this where I belong?




No.





I don't wish to stop.







I don't wish to stop.



I don't wish to stop.






I don't wish to stop



without you.





Don't
         let me  
                   fall
                        until
                                the
                                        placid
                                                 sound
                                                           of
                                                                your
                                                                       heart

b
e
a
t
i
n
g

  

falls flat.

Rings of fire instilled around me
Linking together to create my Olympic Death
It must be a thousand degrees where I am
I've never seen so much smoke without my breath

If I had a cigarette, I'd light it on my hand
To emphasize the heat
I'd take a stroll, with a smoke, through the flames
Walking through hell in my bare feet

Roses are blue
roses are purple
roses are green
JK THEY"RE RED