Forty seven nights
Spent sleepless
Or wasted, shitfaceded
Stumbling I'm aimless

And fear
Stabs at my mind
Porcupine hides
And bee stings
Wasted passionate ambition
An ad for lost tenacity

Cruel fate
Just world
Full court
Swine and pearls

Six months
Of restless days
Assurance didn't ever run
It sat and washed away

And my hopes burn
like turpentine
In a fire-breather's lungs
Singed ****** hair
And scorch marks
On the surface of my tongue

Forty seven nights
And just as many days
Youth never tried to run
Just sat and washed away

Youthful love,
stupid love
Happy gluttony
Waste of time,
In my mind
Says hateful heartless me

No more komakazee crows
No more angry nehibors and
Their apple guns.
No more slow winks.
No more toilet bowls
And no more ham.
No more wet hair after a shower.
No more drooling on my face.

Remember that **** dog.
Remember you and him kissed like eskimos.
Remember sleeping in my train tunnel.
I wish I still played with trains.
I wish I still played euphonium.
I wish we never lost our house.

My old friend, is it time for me to go away.
You were the last.
The last pet mom ever will own.
She told us no more animals.
She cried tonite,
She said im so sorry soxy.

A longntime ago
A longtime 6 hours in school felt.
A long strected out cat
Waited for us on the steps.
I rubbed my face in his glossy chest.
I rubbed my third grade nose up and down
His body hoping for a play bite.
His tongue licked my ears three times,
Three times until he took a bite.
My hands resembled the bird,
The bird he never killed.
He turned me into a contortinist.
He made  my leggs cramp.
He made my matress his middle ground.
His middle my yoga sleep.

After showers he hunted my head.
He layed on my face.
He licked my dripping buzz cutt.
He licked the milk off of my first mustache.
He ruined the left over ham.
He made my favorite sandwhich
A challenge.
He could smell me open the can and mix the
Mayonase with pickles.
He left me a dead mouse on my train tracks.
He had white drops of paint on his paws.  
White furry paint,
Mom told us he had sox on his feet,
He was born with the name we gave him
Sox not socks,
Not the socks you get tired of wearing.
Not the socks you get mixed up durrning laundry.
Our sox kept us on our toes.
Our sox.
The **** cat
That really owned our house.
Hell always be sox,
The **** cat,
The **** voice my brother made up.
The **** drool I let rub against my face
Will never go away.  

Ill kiss him like an eskimo.
Ill biuld him a eskimo fire
And hope he chooses to
rub noses with My dog J.C again
I hope he goes gently into the nite (Dylan Thomas).

You started a fire
And walked away
As I burned,

I kept asking what you were doing
As you poured the gasoline,
Drenching the floorboards
Of my hope,

I didn't get much of a response,
Just a cheap apology
And a short good-bye
To what we could have become.

I knew when I first met you
That you would walk away,
But there was something so tempting
About dancing with your flame,

I took my chances,
         I kept up as long as I could,
But when I fell from physical exhaustion
Someone else stepped in to take my place.

Now, my body is almost entirely ash
And I'm watching you from afar
            Realizing that you left me
With more that just a scar.

Is my mind still racing?
Or is my life the one running (while I)
slowly fall apart.
Why isn't anything simple?
Like a movie, or a show?
I wonder if anyone is a movie? (no)
They are all actors and actresses
living by simple pleasures (or)
opinions made by the convinced.
Where the self absorbed are confident,
they show no doubt.
I am scared
and insecure
my way of life is not sure
my options are too plenty.
I am trapped by my own Freedom! (and)
my power, my free-will!
We all need guidelines.
We need to look to our T.V (our screen)
and learn what needs to come next.
To our parent movie star look-a-likes.
And the actress inside all of us!
We will continue to believe in a
steady-stream-of-consciousness
and continue to feed our ego
as much as we please -
(or as much as we can).
I guess in the end
there is only ego
Its all in your head
how others perceive -
how I perceive
(there is no such thing.
I am alone in thought.)

And I think I saw you flash before my eyes.
And constrict me from breathing.
Shutting off my lungs.
It hurt so much.
And its like my heart is a guitar because you’re constantly plucking the strings
Its driving me insane.

Now please don’t let me fall
Because we both know I’ll drown
There’s no easy way out

I can barely see the skyline
Its fading baby
You’re fading away
If I leave do you think you’ll stay
And I can’t find the words to finish this
But goodbye means forever

Dream Or Delusion

I am back with a vengeance,
my possibilities are so endless.
I was only gone for awhile,
no one else has my writing style.
Everything I do is an instant success,
I'm the God, you all should bless.
Everything I touch turns into gold,
unlike you, I will never grow old.
I'm a man who can't be beat,
unless of course, its my own meat.
I walk alone and stand tall,
there ain't a situation, I can't control.
No one has my creative imagination,
my brain will never go on vacation.
I take from the rich and give to the poor,
even Robin Hood thinks I have delusions of grandeur.
I have bi-polar with a twist,
my personality you can't resist.
One day conceited, one day depressed,
with *** and money, I'm obsessed.
I only speak words of wisdom,
my words always deserve a listen.
Even when I'm gone, I'm always here,
don't worry, I will never completely disappear.
In due time, I may fade away,
then everyone will celebrate my birthday.
It's my time to be in the sun,
I'm not afraid, I won't run.
I'm the master of all rhyme,
finally it's my shinny time.
I have waited many years,
shed over a million tears.
All my dreams are finally coming true,
I believe my time is long over due.
Is my nightmare finally over,
have I picked my lucky four leaf clover.
I am ready for my standing ovation,
rid myself of all my hidden frustration.
Maybe all this is just a cruel diversion,
coming from a mind, who was an abortion.