If I drank once for every instant I thought about you,
I'd be a drunken fool, living in a permanently drunken world.
If I raised my cup every time I thought about you,
My glass would be so high, and never come down.

If I took a hit for every memory of you flowing through my brain,
I'd be so high, I couldn't breathe from all the smoke.
If I rolled a blunt for every memory of you on my mind,
My fingers would be sore, never getting a chance to heal.

Little would you know that those drinks have been drunk,
My glass is always raised, and on the same days,
My lungs get smoked out, with a high that lasts forever;
And those blunts have been rolled and still are being rolled.

But don't worry, maybe one day I'll stop; but probably never.
I can't stop thinking of that moment, when you made that promise,
The one about you and me, and "forever".

The real world is a bitter cold place
With a heart made of stone
Not built for those of us just stepping into it
Blindly.

There isn't time to breathe,
All you do is work, and stress, occasionally taking a moment;
Simply a single instant of your time,
To blink.

Well, there is a difference, my friend, in know the societal norms,
And being shoved head-first into the whirlpool of life,
Only to get ****** into the hell of our
Society.

That feeling is full of terror, fright, and tears.
So I must take the occasional instant of my time,
To blink away the tears,
And continue on.

We slip and get back up, yes,
But the bridge between childhood and adult hood does not exist,
It's the leap of faith that forces you to grow up in an instant,
Face the fear of falling millions of miles to your death, and go for it anyway,
And fly.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of the them all?*

Not you of course, your hair's a fright.
Those fuzzy strands are quite the sight.
Your lipstick’s smudged,
Your eyes too small,
You hardly resemble a model at all.
Your torso's too short,
Your ******* are too small,
Your thighs are too wide,
And your nose is too long.
But,
Before you start crying,
Or making a fuss,
Remember your eyes are not to be trust.
An image of beauty that you fail to see,
Is reflected directly in front of me.
My dear, I'm not lying,
It's as plain as can be.
A vision of beauty stands before me.

today i learned that your favourite
colour is red.
(i also happened to be wearing it.)
today i learned that everything i’ve ever wanted to happen
will eventually happen,
but not in the ways i imagined they would.
today i learned that i can love you from a distance,
that i can say it with my eyes and maybe you will
hear me.
(or maybe you won’t but
either way i’m going to keep looking at you.)
today i learned that you care about me because
you told me to put on my scarf so that i wouldn't get cold.
today i learned that love is a language all on its own,
full
of laughter and long embraces and jokes and
spur of the moment decisions and unrequited heartache
and other things
i cannot find words for.
today i learned that instead of being a fool for
not being able to control my heart i might in fact
just be human.
today i learned that every solid foundation was once
a battleground.
today i learned that i could one day maybe trust again but
i am still not ready yet.
today i learned that black friday
is now a thing in Canada.
today i don’t feel so afraid.
today my mother let me read her journal from 1988
(when she was the age that i am right now)
and i learned that i am more like her than i ever
thought i was,
i learned that that might be more of a blessing
than a curse.
today i learned how to use my mind as a camera, that it might
be okay to let so many precious moments remain
undeveloped.
today i learned that i cannot force you to be enamoured with me.
today i learned that i might just have to settle on the fact that my inability to express myself with words has no bearing on how nervous i get when i am around you.
today i learned that there is so much love everywhere.
today i learned that everyone is stunning.
today i learned that there is no such thing as having too big
of a heart.

You told me how you feel today,
but that's exactly how I feel about  him.
Why does it have to be this way-
love being a game which no one wins?

You say you feel you need me,
just a glance will cause you pain.
Knowing that "us" will never be
makes your hope continue to drain.

I understand better than you think
because I feel this too.
I really don't want to break your heart,
but I don't know what else to do.

I really cannot love you;
no matter how hard I try.
You're just not the one I want
so please stop asking me "why?".

I don't want to make you hurt.
because I know too well what it's like.
So we'll both end up as losers
as the game of love strikes.

Intoxicating
you give me a high
I'm addicted to you
and I can't tell why

you're totally wrong
in so many ways
but you strike on my match
and set me ablaze

With so many layers
I want to uncover
You're unlike the rest
A real four leafed clover

I’m not the one who sails with grace
Tempestuous seas
broad as the moon

I’m not the one who stood in her firm legs
Sorting waves of ambition with equilibrium

I’m not the one who resisted equable
before unearthly weather
I’m not the one who faced bravely
A simple stormy header

I’m not the one who surfs
oceans of emotions
I’m the one who swims from dot to dot
I’m the one who knows who I am not.