To my family I'm known as the confident one,
Friends say I'm wild, and daring
Only because emotions are things I never feel like sharing
So now I'm on a pedestal to high for ya'll to see
logic and anxiety 2 sides that fight in me
I'm confident with strangers, who cares i'll never see them
I'll bring a girl back to bed my bed cause alone I'll wrestle demons
I love the pillow talk it always captures my attention,
I'll keep the chat about her, and dodge her prying questions
they say I'm easy to talk, I'm chill and nonjudgmental
But if you don't wanna share your thoughts, listening is fundamental
I eat away my worries and hit the gym when I feel angry
I keep on gaining muscles while losing half my pantry
But the best escape I've ever found has been in music and books
I tried people, but the ones who feel my pain just judge me for my looks
"You're too popular to feel rejection", you're too strong to ever feel weak".
I walk away a 2 sided soul, and one side will never speak

Since when
are the words "low weight"
synonyms for  the word “beautiful"
whats so beautiful about
hunching over
the scale or the toilet
begging to be lower
with tears stinging your eyes

What is so beautiful
about being admitted
into hospitals and recovery centers
because you are so unhealthy
that when you look in the mirror
you can’t even recognize
the being staring back at you

Since when is beauty
a subscription to Cosmopolitan
and a prescription for
anti-depressants and
a room reservation at
the long term hospital.

What is so beautiful
about being labeled
as your disorder
and not you anymore
there is nothing luxurious about
emptying yourself
just to feel a sliver of the word
beautiful

So don’t you dare
try telling me that
“low weight”
is and will ever be
synonymous
with “beauty"