Curled up,
The brightness inside me is sick again,
Catching a cold from the words others have said,
Aching as it trembles in the
Recesses of my heart.
I try to remember your words,
Your sweet, warm, kind, loving words,
Hoping
You tell the truth,
Because I know you do.

Thank you for the words you have given me.

Incredible,
Every moment I spend with you,
I feel that I am of worth.
Reminding me of the person I want to be
And the values that I hold to.
I have never met another like you,
You are precious and
Remind others of their goodness.

Thank you my wonderful friend.

I told you.
I told you that if I showed you what's inside
You'd throw all my ugly back.
That You would toss me back
Into the chilly mud and garbage
And turn your back.
Leaving me alone,
Helpless,
Scrambling in the filth to find
What I hid and trusted you to hold.
You promised you wouldn't let go.
And I hoped! And trusted.
Oh how I trusted.
Through pain and through time
I trusted, waiting and loving you
For the brilliant man you are
And knew you could become.
Knowing if anyone could hold my heart
I would choose you,
The one I trusted most.
that's when you started to
feel how cold and heavy it is... that heart...
Ebbing away at your warmth and strength...

Oh how I wish I could have kept it hidden from you.

Happy,
Pure,
His little kisses are pockets of starlight in the night sky,
Or bubbles of air pointing to where the surface of the ocean is.
He is a sparkling gem,
Worth more than he knows and
Stronger than a diamond.
Long talks and kisses are
A cool gust of wind on a blistering day.

Where will this take me?
I’m terrified to let him in,
Let him see the part of me that I hate.
But I am a waterfall,
Letting my trust fall into his loyal hands,
Dropping my secrets like rain.

Am I worth the pain and cold that I tend to inflict?
He makes me believe that I am.

Peace,
A breeze in the air,
Rain pattering down from the sky,
Painting the sidewalks a sleek grey,
Beauty in the drizzle.

Cool, calm,
Not dangerous when
Viewed from a distance,
But unspeakable depths that will drag you
Down,
Down,
down.
Into my ratcheting currents and
Demonic tides at a depth hard to imagine.
And scenes you couldn’t imagine,
At least in my life.
I’m more and less than people think I am.
Unexpected,
Unknown,
And often invisible.
My hands are frost and
The icy mask I wear is melting into my flesh.
But I feel that mask slipping,
Collapsing to the ground and
Shattering,
Freeing the person I am.
Maybe wrong,
The frightening individual I am,
As dangerous as an iceberg,
Could be beautiful too.

The flower cared.
Too much, some would say,
Too naive, too loving and innocent.
Easily taken advantage of.
They were right.
Yet the flower didn't believe them.
She wanted to care too much.

The flower knew the snail,
A brown snail with its home on its back and a hard shell.
A shell that spiraled up to a point.
The slow sad snail that sallied its way across the garden every day.
The snail said it would be salted one day,
Or slowly baked in the sun,
Someday soon,
If it couldn’t have a bite of the flower’s pedals.

The timid, naive, caring flower
Believed that brown snail
And stood still as the snail slunk it’s way up the stem
To the precious pedals.
At first the snail was kind,
But when the days wore on and the flower grew weaker,
He hemmed and hawed and hurt the flower with his words
Complaining at the scars and hurt.
The ones that were only there because of him.
He became obsessed, demanding more,
Demanding everything.
She gave him as much as he wanted,
Begging and pleading for him to stop,
And trying not to give any more.
The flower grew weak and nearly died.
If flowers had knees she’d be weeping and trembling on them.

A gentle hand reached down and gingerly touched the crumbling flower.
The hand was worn and weathered, streaked with dirt,
A gardener's hand.
The gardener got his shovel and
Put the flower in a ***.
He watched after the flower daily,
Watering, nourishing, healing.
He did not blame the flower for attracting the snail,
His only thought was to heal and help.
He saw the potential in the flower and knew how to renew it.

She began to heal.