She reads
                                          And she sleeps
                                                      Way too much
                                                            ­           It's her coping defence
                                                                ­               When nothing else will suffice
                                                         ­               She needs to get away
                                                       Without actually leaving
                                             Because she's too scared
                                   And too tired
                                            To leave her bed
                                                      So she cracks open a book
                                                            ­     To escape somewhere far away
                                                            ­             And she'll sob for the characters
                                                      ­                       Whose brokenness resembles hers
                                                            ­                                   And then she'll sleep
                                                           ­                                   And have sweet dreams
                                                          ­              Of realities that are not her own
                                                       Because pretending is so much easier
                                                 Than facing reality
                             So she'll sleep and dream
          And secretly wish she won't wake up
So she can finally escape

911 used to be scabbed on the back of my
knees, and soaked carpets
were like coming
home. her eyes were nothing like
mine, and the police always
wanted to know. but i hated the way their
lips smacked against their teeth.


911 used to be tied to my fingers with
****** ribbons, and if you ask me who my kindergarten
teacher was, i couldn’t tell you.
chocolate milk nights were thick with
bruises. i made friends with the images in between the tiles
in the bathroom.

911 used to be etched on my stomach,
and even now i cannot see red blue and white flashing lights
without wanting to puke.
six months is forever when you’re seven years old,
but daddy
always said life is too short
anyway.

I am not ready for commitment, or to know
that I am loved, loved in a way
that will lead to spilling of brains
and hearts out of ribcages
opened weak, vulnerable
resulting in hurt and tears

I am not enough at peace with my heart
nor my ability to trust and open up
to have such a permanent placement in my life
I want red lipstick smeared on wine glasses
filled with ***** and whiskey
late nights in warm rooms, too warm
with something funny to smoke
to feel slightly relieved when the boy I kissed
for 3 hours last night, knew I meant nothing to him
as he meant nothing to me
I am not prepared to part
with the "one night only" lovers
and the fun that comes
with being young

to be free, to stay free
a soul that is not ready to be locked away
in exchange of an open cage
for a brittle heart that cracks
under the slightest pressure

Strive for what you desire,
Tho it might bring a sense of fate
Take risks & believe its
The only path to a fuller outcome
          Of the future
Never quit on what you love
It portrays luck later

When every single second,
of your fragile little life.
is a relentless mystery,
How will you know what's comming?

This very day,
could gladly be your very last.
What do you suppose to happen next?
All of this is just a Great Perhaps.

What if?
Maybe?
Possibly?
All questions, whose answers are unknown

When life is a great mystery,
How could you live it to the fullest?
Perchance you'll never know.
I guess it is just a Great Perhaps.

I am in a constant search
of who I am, of who i want to be
But it's all still a mystery.
Life is only, a Great Perhaps.

Paint over my eyes so I might see brighter days
Put some blue over the view that was grey
Tell me this world is not a cruel as it seems
Paint over my eyes and paint me a dream

Erase all the nightmares, melt away the snow
Break me from the winter and show how to grow
Leave me with a better view of my day to day
Paint over my eyes and take me far away