The dew turned into a crystallized ice
It's a good day yet I shiver
the sun looks nice saying hi
Rubbing my hand for friction
Time for school, I'm all set
Stopped in the hallway, I'm lost
New faces and gazes
Seems like a challenge
That's what I love best
Handing the white sheet,
wanting for directions
Took a deep breath and actiooon!
Smile and be yourself
Smile and be yourself
Smile and be yourself
The mantra keeps chanting
inside my head
Then, I thought it's not a bad thing
First day... really is something :)

-A

09/11/14

Please, help me hold this candle
Show me the light,
make my world shine,
like your beguiling eyes
Led me the way,
where the bright future awaits

Let's make the most of everyday
Time's running
and the flames are burning fast,
candle's melting
but it's possible to make things last

I never heard an angel's voice,
not until you jabber away
When I look into your eyes,
I can see no lies

Thank you for holding the light
everything feels so right
It was a fleeting moment
before you blew the flame
because it was all nothing,
but a foolish game*

-A

10/7/14

people always leave without knowing
their footprints always stays

I ask that you let my wings grow
and watch me fly, up, so high
I ask for you, not to call my name
for I won’t  be back
until I call ‘home’, home

The jangling of shackles
those calloused feet
The disgruntled grunt
gnashing and grinding of teeth

In a distinct cell
comes an echo of shrieking voices
Seeking for liberation
Digging for truth

The hope of truce
of the soul
who wanted to be free

Justice from inequality!

-A

7/26/14

She floats in a throng
Like a music without a song
Sometimes, she flies
Trying to find a place to hide

Sad invisible girl,
crying in the corner
Whispering dreams and wishes
in a dry thin air

the scars on her wrist
buried her deep in the ground
where daisies grew
and more lovely
Flowers bloom in May

She watches her grave
Full of bliss and peace
As she closed her eyes,
She found the brightest ray of light
Her body dispersed,
Forming one of the cosmos
In the vast sky*

(a.k)

How can you not hear my inner voices
and you're that clueless
that I'm already making a mess

Listen to the inaudible scream
look through the window
and find the glint

Lend me your ears,
hear my heart beat?
Hope this won't explode
as it goes to fast mode

My mouth is zipped
as I'm trying to keep
what is safely hidden inside
But the water's
overflowing in the glass
Here I am, trying to wait
for the next bus

But I need to grab the ink
and paste the unwanted feelings
For this is the only way
to grab a rope and not sink*

-A

10/4/14

Hocus Pocus, I'm the magician and I want you to pay heed as I perform what they call 'miracle'. Nay, not rabbit in a hat nor wand to enchant. I have no power to fly or pull in tricks to inspire. I tell you I'm no special,

But *Hocus Pocus the truth comes to life. It's not easy, but required. You broke or mend a heart, you laugh and bawl your eyes. Sometimes it's hard, but you just have to try. I tell you, it's in your hands to unveil the 'miracle'.

Hocus Pocus, all we need is to focus. And that's where we, the animate things perform a special sorcery -unexpected things that you thought won't happen will actually happen. Vóila! Now that's alchemy!

-A

8/9/14

I submerged myself from the restfulness of the sea
the singing echo of bubbles
and marine lives waved at me
the time just stopped
it was a portal to a different world

watch yourself float and savour the placidity
I then asked myself
'is this what really is home to me?'

At night, I lay on the ground staring at the moon and the stars. They are so beautiful from afar. But nothing’s more beautiful than seeing those shimmering eyes. As I looked inside, I saw the galaxies exploding with so much wonders. Then I envisioned feasting my eyes on infinity.

Fate worked the first time I met you. There! You were walking from distance. The long face you were wearing throes my heart. You caught me looking. I was startled but I kept staring. A sudden arrow stung my heart yet I was mesmerized. It wounded and scarred. You came nearer and touched it. I was captivated. Then I stroked your face. They are very gentle and sweet. They are alluring. Then you held my hands. I never wanted to let go. I don’t want to.

You smiled. Finally! They are the perfect curves that I don’t want to fade. The world stops and it’s just us two. The butterflies in my belly are soaring high. What I feel for you, I could never deny. Your eyes are on me but I looked away. I was shy but I want you to stay.

We talked and talked. I don’t know what’s so funny but you made me laughed. You've been a part of my life and that’s not a lie. There goes our love story…

You like it when you caress my hair and whisper my name. How’d you make it sound so special?

Then you brought me to carny and tossed a ring. You won me a fluffy bear that is my size. We can’t wait for the blue spun sugar to eat. It made our tongue blue too! I was scared of the big wheel. Heights petrified me. But you told me to not let my fear control me so I did. I did it! I conquered the world. I can now bungee jump or canyon swing.

Couple of miles we rode, there goes the big screen and the film’s rolling black and white. Some movies make me cry. You wiped my tears and I burst laughing. We shared popcorns and soda too. Then I glanced, I’m so glad I found you.

Remember when it rained and we were soaked. You grabbed my hand and twirled me like a ballerina. Then you’ll tease me and put me on your back. But your tire got stuck in the mud. I pushed it and as you start the engine, the tire whirred and splashed me with dirt. Oh, someone’s having fun!

Whispering the three words, my eyes grew bigger. You were shaking as your voice trailed off but my heart jumped out of joy. Is this really happening? I hugged you tight that you can barely breathe. I can’t help myself from being elated. Every moment of every day, you are in my mind, my heart, and the center of my being.

You are the syrup in my pancake, the helium in my balloon, the cream in my sugar, the lyrics in my song and the sparkle in my eyes.

We drive away. So far, that they can’t see. I look back watching how the city lights glitter like a fairy dust. We promised to forget about what’s behind and rather look what’s further. It’s just you and me. And that’s the only thing that matters.

I turn the radio on and we sing at the top of our lungs. I roll the windows down and remove my bun. The wind blows my long hair and it feels nice. The air is fresh and cold that I shiver. What’s ahead is an open road that never ends. You squeezed my hand and I was relieved knowing everything will be alright.

As you drive, I heard the seagulls and the crashing of waves. There could be a hidden paradise somewhere. The screeching of brakes led us to a new world. What’s beneath the sea and the sky comes to life. We build a fire and cover ourselves with thick blanket to keep us warm. I wish there are s’mores too! Then we sat on the ground waiting for the sun to come up. I lay my head on your shoulder then you kissed my forehead. It was quick but I blushed. It was sweet and hoping this will last.

The sun woke up and started to rise. I opened my mouth but then closed it. What I’m seeing is so wonderful that I’m going to cry. You wrap your hand over my shoulders the other is on my hand intertwined. You looked at me and said the words. Those words made my heart skip a beat.

“I can’t imagine how dark my world before you came. I was lost and empty. I was miserable. But it happened you looked at me the way I looked at you. Then that moment, we were meant.  I knew we were. Every night, I thank the Almighty how majestic he is for slowly turning my dark world into hue. That’s when I found you. And I want to spend the rest of my life holding your hands and loving you until my last breath. I want to grow old with you and just be with you. Only you.”

I tightened my grip. It was meaningful and brave to say. He’s true. We are meant and what we need to do is face and stand whatever chaos life may bring us. Our love is so true.

But then…

I woke up.

-A

5/25/14

1.As the sun rubs its eyes, rise and shine. Thank God for today. Open your windows, and say hello to the birds. Admire the canvas drawn in the sky. And now, get ready to fly.

2. Turn off your gadgets, go outside and take a stride.

3. Get lost and wander into the sea of tides. Find yourself. Your dreams, goals, passion, the positive and even the negative side. After that, you may enjoy the ride.

4. Keep a journal and write what's buried deep. Good or bad things, it's part of life. Get up, dust the dirt, and try. Reflect on your scribe, and learn to inspire yourself as time goes by.

5. "I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university."-Albert Einstein
Love the ones who treat you right. Stop the fight and let's unite. Acknowledge their goodness rather than the differences. Stop judging and start accepting flaws, because everybody makes mistake.

6. Life is too short not to appreciate. Simple things matter. You never know what you have until it's gone right? Sometimes, you just have to screech your wheels in an open highway and feel the air. Take off your sandals and walk in the coast. Wait for the sunset and fathom how the horizon gives life to the vivid sky.

7. Let your tears stream down and wash out your mascara. You feel like dying? Take away the blade and just cry. Let it go. Release the pain that has built inside. If you're done, wipe away the tears. Look yourself in the mirror and be a warrior. Learn from your mistakes, forgive people, learn to smile :))

8. Yes, smile. It makes you happy. It makes others happy too! So, if you're reading this. Congratulations! You're alive. That is something to smile about, no doubt.

9. Be healthy. Run an extra mile, flex and stretch for a fresh start. Dump the pills together with your misty dark thoughts. If you lost yourself somewhere in the darkness, you can find it. It may not be that easy, but every war has an ending. It's called beginning.

10. “Eleanor was right. She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.” -my fave line in Rainbow Rowell's, Eleanor & Park.

The way Eleanor dresses—men's clothing, bright colors, even fishing lures in her hair. Her bright red, curly hair, freckles, and curvy figure all combine to single her out for bullying, so her own appearance is a huge factor in her everyday life.

THE THING IS: BE YOURSELF. Eleanor dresses the way she wants, to be different. Don't mind what other people say, cause in the end it is you, not them. And hey! We are all beautiful, we are strong, we are worth it. That's what makes us special. Stop wishing you looked like someone else, stop hating your body, your personality. Love yourself a little more every day. And for sure, someone will love you just the way you are :)

(a.k)

Full of pity for what was promulgated. Watch how I chortle with a tone of "Nobody cares". Is cackling like a witch amusing that much? Might look around; no one seems to listen. My dear friend, cracking jokes will never be our forte. Well, just too engaged in our own lives. Can't say 'Go get a life' when it's kinda rigid turning around, especially when you got stabbed by a knife. And you know, just too fab that you don't actually have ;)

if you are a rose
I am the thorn
he saw the beauty
of your petals
he saw your bloom



you are the stars in the night
I am the invisible clouds
covered by the shadow and mystery
guess, you light up the sky



if I am a lake
you are the vast turquoise ocean
giving him hopes and dreams
something I can never give



you are the map of places that
he have never been
a place of beauty and exploration
and I am that place
the small place
he wouldn't dare to come back.

The dark castle of Bebbanfarne glare with remorse. Trelleborg surrounded by flames gyrating through the air like coryphee in a corps de ballet. Tyranny ended together with ash of demise with a glint of red curse.

The growling sound from their throats remind me of dogs howling. A sound of victory chortled that means, the flag of Vikings remain. Pillage in the land will no longer stand, no more heads to slay in the Valhalla. War has come to an end, seafaring to the West they'll send.

As the music and festive noise invade the whole space, I, Valka, need a drink. No more sceattes left in my pocket since the dark throne burnt our town including the Byre, because we only have cows where long houses built near the brink.

The crowd mobbed in this old dusty tavern. Norsemen guzzle their beers, for today, is something to cheer.

Scythe and horn helmet suddenly dived in my pub table where Asvard, the head of Varyags appeared. I covered my face with kerchef and proffer him a drinking horn. For he is alone, and looks torn.

The moon is blue, which is true. There's no stars, but only the giant moon trapping the sky. The Vikings will tomorrow rise as they sail their knarr away from the ground where new quest bound.

Asvard lunged the drink and gulp down leaving a froth. 'Ahoy, Valka Lindqvist.' I should've worn my two braids as the Varyag guard acknowledge a partake.

Asvard apprise the journey takes time. He looks at me, and said 'stars are hidden in your eyes. That's why there's nothingness tonight.' A fleeting moment of merry in my life.

The stillness of the early morning scene row the vessel smoothly until out of sight. The vow of me and Asvard is carved in the rune stone that midnight. 'A full moon where lovers kiss, spell of eternity will bliss.'

Every full moon, I wait. It's been years since the vessel went home straight, the wind lost their track from navigating. Vikings board one by one. This is the day.

Brynjar, the warrior with tough armors came to say hi. He told me Asvard is no longer inside. The huge waves of tides wash away some men and die. But a message from my Asvard he declared this time:

'Valka, my dereworthy heart, the sail has been taking forever as the moon so full and bright, the waves are getting higher. I miss the drink of that half-horn of rye. Remember, the vow in stone runes will never die. I will see you very soon. If not now, tomorrow or in the future, maybe in another life. Look up in the sky, so I may see the stars in the cruel earth hidden in your eyes. Valka Lindqvist, this is not our goodbye.'*

(a.k)

there were fears and barriers
that stopped me to open a blank page
and just write
I looked at the white page;
full of curiosity
and emptiness that reflects
my face, quite longing to blossom
in the midst of being afraid

I confess, my words juggle and my thoughts are not arranged
how can I start my story
if they are not in order?

How do I do this?

The questions might be answered by just doing it...

I can hear them. There is not one, but might be hundreds of them lurking behind these rickety wood walls.

He is watching. The party has always been watching. I can control my thoughts. Cogito ergo sum. This is my world, no one can touch me. These are my thoughts, my heart beats for what is good for me. My hands scrawling, my brain is just scribbling.

Yet, I’ve known from the start that I am a dead man.

I didn’t commit adultery, I followed them. I am alive, I can feel my heart racing. My blood all over my body... reminds me why I’m here. To survive and live, yet I am still a dead man.

I am no mute, but I can’t speak. While writing this I can picture my hands and feet with shackles, wounds of torture. I’ve been always a dead man.

The prole doesn’t know. They need to know. They should stop listening or watching the telescreen. They should strive to dig the Oldspeak.

Oh, right. Who dares to doublethink against a totalitarian regime anyway?

The guns are always on their hands. The war is always going. It’s always here. The past... is always here. We don’t see it, but it’s here! There’s nowhere to run or hide, the world tried.

I will be the next unperson, vaporising in the history of Oceania. They won’t remember. They’ll try not to remember. We are a nobody. Winston was right. I can feel the boot stamping on my face. This is the future.

My voice... is a thought crime, will never be accepted in this society.

I am a dead man.

I am ready... the Thought Police has been always watching me. The INGSOC. Big Brother. I will never love him!

But I am ready to be trap in the place where there is no darkness. I am ready... for the Ministry of Love.

I won’t ever, ever love Big Brother!

I do not care, for I am already a dead man!

I do love rain! I do!
A sweater and a cup of tea
My bed and the silly thoughts
in my head

Dancing and kissing in the rain
Laughter playing in the mud
I would say, It was insane
and a little rad

But sometimes, a sail in a storm
could wash you away
A lighting that struck
could **** a day

A heartbreak isn't okay
There are times when it rains
Tears stream down my face
Watching the sky,
from my window pane
Dark as a broken heart
Everything is gray

Raindrops ripple
Like the water
coming from my eyes
A distraught mind

Then all I wish is for rain to go away.*

-A

8/28/14

She's afraid to spread her wings
as everyone got lost in the air
She was left in her own misery
in the midst of nowhere
she broke her wing
promised not to fly
Alone and scared, she has to try
Ready to open wide
and flap that white light feather
She wanted to soar high
But afraid to fall and cry
Looking fierce and brave
The only thing
is to get lost from this cave
It's the only way to be saved
No more tears and fears
Casting the trapped shadows
It's time to go and feel,
how the cool wind
wanders through her feet*

-A

9/24/14

Remember the sandcastle 
that we used to build?

It took some time
but little did we know
we have handcrafted our future

it was a hard work and patience
Passerby's liked it, others did not
but what do they know?
We had fun building it!

We were diligent to fill
it with sand
Sand that was formed
into an art of love
A castle that we both own

Yes, you will be the king,
and please, call me 'milady'
We will rule the kingdom
No negativities shall come in

Not until when we came back
Those sands of promises and memories
become pain
Everything was ruined
when the waves washed
our dreams away.

No matter how bright it shines or how far it goes, time will come and it dies.*

-A

7/29/14

Listen, can you hear?
The birds singing wistfully just for you
We are all mourning with your name written as a song
Together, we sing as the toll of bells
dance with the chilly wind
and we will forever sing it

You may not see your daughter’s swollen eyes
Or the little ones running and laughing above the ground
But your secrets are buried deep and will be forever keep
No, I do not just sit and stare
My aching heart will always beat for your name
And I will forever sing your song

Your flesh sat so neatly
and bones will sweetly blossom in the air
But together, you will rise as a seed that grows
You grew into a beautiful flower under the morning sun
You grew bigger as vines crawl into the gravestones
Weeds have sat upon and cover the bold carved words ‘you will forever sing my name’

We might have seen you somewhere, somehow
up, up in the sky as a tranquil bird
or under the ground as a water gushing
from the ocean's call

you are everywhere
and your name will be forever written as a song

an old song hidden from the trunk and voices, running out

Can you still hear?

I, sometimes think,
I am wasting my time for nothing.
It is running and I'm not moving.
The world revolves,
people evolve
They told me to find my place,
and I'm still here on the same spot.
I don't know what to do.
What I see are them walking on fast forward
and I will always be on a slow motion.

In this painting, her red hair was blown
In a gust
The behemoth sleeping buffalo mountain gaze
on her perspective, her face was not shown.
but this is her story…
When the south pole tilts, facing
The beam of light
People fly towards the sun and
That’s when Martina ascends the peak
against a raging snow in the north
There, she discovered mountain goats;
Grazing the empty twigs
She found a shelter in the tea house, fresh woods dropped
By a whirly bird to warmth the cabin that
Overlook the six glaciers.
Martina roams with solitude.
Running in the wilds
There is darkness and you can see her eyes,
Dims at night.
She is unbreakable.
The lynx spirit has been guiding her.

I stitched but it's still visible
I came knocking but
it seems I'm invisible
I'm too tired to pick up the shards
In a lonely night where
I hug my knees
weeping on my pillow,
covered with sheet
feeling the pain
What should I do,
my soul is wreck
Nocturnal thoughts hooting
like an owl in the wilds
I'm surrounded by darkness
and all I feel is sadness
This is what I call madness
because I'm just...
I'm just so helpless.*

-A

10/11/14

The air is dry
raven's wide awake
watching the dark and cold sky
with it's claws scratching the twig of a skeletal pomegranate tree

Snowflakes starting to fall
and the chill of wind whoosh
through the broken windows
where candle lights are blown
in a village full of torn
the night sing's with nothingness

The sound of trumpet roused everyone
that's coming from the old theater
where dust and cobwebs grown
Murmurs starting to echo
as everyone gathered into their seats
no shillings nor new garments
this time

But then, spotlight flashed
actors started the play
where various acts portrayed
the theater rejoice
Where the poet grant wishes
of giving  happiness this
Christmas Day

The way his leather boots
stomp the ground
Swaying his black jacket,
Jumping while singing
in a bolt of lightning
making heads spinning around

Most girls love...
How his sweat sparkles in the light
His face, so flawless and bright
the way he winks makes all of them scream
wanting him more in their dreams

When he plucks his strings,
The world rocks
that's what he always bring

It's a high ceiling where
she loves doing her thing
Breathing deeply,
stroking the bow on the strings forming a beautiful reverberation while closing her eyes
The untied hair goes with the beat
This stadium's starting to heat

He stood in the hallway with a smile
Leaning on the white wall
waiting for her to pass by
This is too real, looking dumbfounded talking to a tight-jean-kind of guy

The one from school
which you'll find cool
standing in this hall
making every gals drool

Looking at each other's eyes,
melody and harmony
starting to collide,
not leaving each other's side
Creating a perfect balance of tune for the rest of their lives

-A

10/03/14