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Adam Childs Apr 2016
Cheap is what they call me
as the play their game of
parse the parcel with
laughter and a chuckle.

Walking with a sleepy smile
in my waking dream
an inner nightmare
I cannot scream

Needing some company
I sell my body, accelerating
into a black hole as I look
for another soul.

An abandoned child
who has no father
waiting for a missing piece
to fill an empty space

Feeling invaded has become my
normal as I hide a million wounds
in the camera.

As the audience
becomes my shelter
bright lights are my protection

Always lived in a glass room
the whole world looking in
as my sense of boundaries
disappear trampled on.

As I sometimes find a full on
invasion like carpet bombing
much easier than a more
secret drone intrusion.

Images taken passed on
like domino's falling
spread like butter across
the internet for digestion.

I some how wish i had boundaries
that there was someone who could
help me rebuild them.
  
But maybe that is not me
maybe it is true what they say
maybe i am ...........
just experimenting
Adam Childs Apr 2016
I softly cradle and embrace
My deepest pain
firmly but not tightly
Holding gently
Kissing her forehead lightly
Sitting quietly  
Watching over her nightly

Tenderly tucking her up
Like a great army my
My Love surrounds her
I cherish her
Like my child
As I secure her safety

I sometimes whisper
Into her ear
Late at night
" you are doing fine treasure"
But she cannot hear

As the venom of the world
Falls like rain drops of acid
Onto fresh skin
As many holes are burnt
Into my delicate heart
As I feel her many screams
But delivered by many chariots
she finds her new streams

As we find the secret passage
the hidden path
The kept secret
To keep us apart
As we find the way
Up the mountain
That had long been forgotten

As I slide through the
Many layers of pain
I find much silver,
Gold
And precious stone
With all my deep down parts yelling
I also find a
Crystal clear diamond

As hell is not my damnation
But some how my salvation
Somewhere deep in my soul
Which I treasure and hold
As I find my wounds
Become my freedom
As all cages are broken

For I welcome pain
I say,
"Come on
Come In
Sit down
have a cup of tea
Feel human again"
As I live in deep comfort
With arm chairs
But no conflict

So eagerly I confront
My many wounds
And all my pain
Rushing quickly
Like water down a mountain
I walk through the valley
But carry no doubt
Carving canyons
That forever
Hold their Beauty

Walking the narrow path
Between sensitivity and pain
Is not an easy task
But with the MAGIC
word YES
You will gain
A twinkle in your eye
The many Stars above
And a Vast Ocean
Adam Childs Mar 2016
Addiction is
My something bitter
My something sweet

An unholy nightmare
I partly love
But mostly hate

My happiness ripped away
Like cement from a building
I cannot move
For inside out
I am crumbling

All around me my house is collapsing
As I find myself wide open
Standing in the rain
Which keeps falling
Just need a little more numbing

As I am bound to my body
Like an Egyptian mummy
A fight I can not win

Give me another
Another drink
Another pill
Another line

I am not sure
If I can even tell
The difference anymore

A vacuum under my feet
Where floor boards
Once met
My self esteem gone

A diminishing will that
Once stood like a mountain
Is now just empty Canyon

I am Sledging in the snow
Sliding down a mountain
But some how all
My joy has gone

My desire dissolving
Into a glass as
My heart has given in
As I fall into a drain  

Humiliated I feel
As I escape into another pill
As I am truly conquered
But not by a great army
Just my weak will

Slipping to my death
In quicksand I am sinking
And all I think is
Is Spar Open

Skidding on black ice
I can see I am about to crash
But I can not even flinch
Just have another drink

As I take another dive
If only there was
Something inside of me
That could say
Lets stay a Live

Then maybe I could pull
Myself
Out of this

My unholy nightmare
I partly love
But mostly hate

My something bitter
My something sweet
But mostly I hate
I just wanted to make the point that often addiction comes when life for some reason has taken away someones basic happiness
Adam Childs Feb 2016
Welcome to the world of Sci-fi
horror like a risky affair we
have all been courting,
but now it is really here.
And of course the reality is always  
far worse than the movie.
Like an alien attack or abduction
there is a flash of bright white
light.
As hot as the center of the sun
those underneath vaporize
into nothing.
Their remains like ghostly shadows
burnt into the scarred ground.
And as we drop deeper into hell
we find in terror
the devil runs out.

Survivors blinded, burnt, crawling,
moping and moaning as we find
ourselves living in a desert like
Zombie land.
An earth once full of life falls through
space like a discarded match burning
itself out.
Of course I can only talk for myself
as you maybe able to hold a flame
against an innocent child or old lady.
But if not maybe you should not,
like genocide be supporting it.  
Thousands screaming and crying but
I am sorry there no hospital and there
will be no ambulance coming.

So with Little Boy
such a friendly name
like the boy playing down the park.
Well 40 thousand died an hour after
that one was dropped.
Now imagine something 30 times as
strong something they call the
Ivy King,
king of the apocalyptic land.
And now imagine their latest celebration
they call Castle Bravo 1000 times
more powerful.
How many millions tens of millions
could that ****
Bravo bravo bravo.

But these are just numbers what if they
all each had a name like
Nikolai or Emiko
sorry maybe it would be better if
we did not give them a foreign
name maybe call them
Jenifer or John.
So do really want to give our
government permission to drop
a bomb like Hiroshima or Nagasaki.
Perhaps they would be safer if they
changed there cities names called them
something like Manchester or Birmingham.

Naughty boys boasting about their
conquers sit around tables playing
their poker bluff.
While injecting a fear into their
enemies heart they mind their p's and q's.
As they pretend to be civilized
but at the same time threatening
an annihilation.
Just so they may get the
Upper hand
A gas pipe or
Oil rich land.
But I don't want my life to be
someones negotiating tool.
So stop playing your silly game of
chance because if you loose the whole
worlds is gone.
Please someone tell them
this is really not a game.

I hope the world has realized more
bombs does not make it safer.
Maybe you think it is money well spent
or maybe like me you think it could be
spent curing cancer or the environment.    
Any on a personal note
I really do hope  
they give up trident.
Adam Childs Jan 2016
Not all defeat is bitter
Sometimes it lifts you up
Arms out stretched
Standing on a mountain

Sometimes life can be confusing
Perplexed standing on a podium
Holding a Gold Cup
While the winner
Gets a wooden spoon,
Even nothing

Sometimes defeat can give you
A little lift,
A little bounce
In your step
As though you were
Carried by an elephant

Sometimes winners crawl back
To their cages while you
Enjoy outstretched spaces
In all your vast freedom  

Sometimes defeat dresses
You in purple
Crowns you as King
And says Go On
Claim your Kingdom

Sometimes after all the
cursing,
Defying God
You realize you are cured
And God was only operating  

Sometimes after all the
Shouting and swearing
You discover the world has
Become much sweeter

And sometimes after all the
Thrashing and splashing the
The water becomes much stiller
And you see all the colour
In the coral

And sometimes when you fall
Into these deep waters
You may hear a mermaids call
Telling you your destiny's pull

Sometimes defeat can be your glory
As you find the air is brighter
And your friends are kinder
Even the birds sing louder  

Sometimes defeat is not your
Enemy but actually your saviour
Pointing you the way out
Rescuing you from a great fire

Sometimes defeat is your closest friend
Holding you tenderly like a lover
Protecting you where it matters
The outside world in tatters

I don't care because
Not all defeat, is bitter
Sometimes it lifts you up
With arms outstretched and
Places you on a mountain
Adam Childs Jan 2016
Dare I fall in love again and
Tight rope across a great raven
As I let those feeling rise again

Dare I try to climb once more
My weary body and broken soul
Could not take another fall

But I have traveled the murky wood
Carried broken arrows in my heart
And some how healed every part

I have navigated past a jealous troll
Been bitten by a snake or two
But some how it made me grow

I now take a breath with sleeping beauty
And I pause within all her majesty
For tonight the stars are really bright

As she sparkles in her silent glory
I pull back bless her and let her sleep
And enjoy the space that takes me deep

As I sit with sleeping beauty enjoying a little wait
With a tooting owl in the background
On the crest of a wave it is almost exciting

Now the sun is spilling over the horizon
Like a golden syrup over fresh toast or candy  
I feel there maybe more than hope

As I dare to fall in love
Yes maybe once again
As maybe there is
now only SUN
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