he told me how he wanted me cut up then kept in his fridge
he told me where to put my hands
he told me how much to put in my bloodstream
he told me I was pretty like a school shooting
he told me my skin felt soft between his teeth
he told me he wanted to **** the dog
he told me the voices won’t go away
he told me I looked so beautiful lying ****** up on the bathroom floor
he told me it won’t hurt for much longer
I told him he was killing me

My memories taste like medicine
use a boxcutter to carve your lovers face into a wall
I want to be wanted I want to curl up inside you like a parasite

hes got a love for me stronger than codeine 
hes addicted im his high
we **** on the floor
emergency trips or as we call “dates”to the hospital
riding in the ambulance holding hands on the stretcher
they keep giving me more pills
driving gas station to has station
stomachs full of cheap liquor and candy
they say your first love is like your first ******
unforgettable 
but im with daddy now
making out in a beat up car
drawing little angels on the foggy glass
drink away the pain like a pretty alcoholic barbie
love is tearing out each others throats with your teeth
we are waist deep in our blood and ***
I have honey in my fists

I’m looking for fossils on my skin for the people who have once touched me
Sometimes I hug myself and feel like a stranger
My bruises match the violet colored sky you used kissed me under
press honeysuckle sunlight and rosewater into my wounds
I woke up ****** with a cherry pit in my mouth
I’m sorry I’m so hard to love
I’m an angel who’s body you mutilated by your honeyed words
your kisses feel like hell but your body feels like heaven
lift up my skirt and I’ll show you where the moonlight stained me
skull **** me on the floors of an abandoned house with pink wallpaper
it rains so much in my heart it began to grow spores
touch me on my stained bed covers while your on speed
dig through my chest cavity and pull out all the weeds

I’m on his bed drinking a 40 in my silk nightgown cuddling a carebear while he counts our drug money
pretty pills dancing around in my bloodstream while I trace my fingers along the long hallway walls that line your heart
stumbling barefoot along side the highway all the car headlights looking like angels
I cry too much
i want to be achingly sad but beautiful like a butterfly with a torn wing or a missing child poster
I want to have my wedding under a pink cotton candy sky
I want a cheap motel love
convulsing on a bed of lilac    
take a ****** like a good girl and go to dreamland
drinking blueberry ***** out of a McDonald’s cup
wobbling like a newborn doe in stripper heels down a ***** alley
we drive around in your car all night stealing candy bars and other little things that make us happy
I have a baby pink aura and a soft rainbow heart

I’m drinking a 40 on a ***** mattress wanting to carve his name into my leg. Drunk and wobbling in my 6 inch heels with daddy in mcdonalds. Giving him hickies with cheap ***** on my breath. He says I make him feel young again. I no longer put my menthol cigarettes out on my own heart. I wear blossom pink lipstick now and started brushing my hair. His mouth against mine feels like I tongued an electrical socket dipped in honey. His teeth are rotting out of his pretty skull but he tears through my star white skin like a rabid dog. Holding each other’s hands at random gas stations while he buys me alcohol to get rid of my bad thoughts that swell my brain. He takes care of me and pets my angel hair. Calling me his princess. Promising me slushies and gold teeth. He let me choke him in the parking lot along side the highway. I asked him if I could be his baby in the back of his trunk. He kissed my neck like a solar eclipse.

I love you like a housewife loves her xanax
 I love you like a lost girl loves a trap house floor
 I love you like the hole in your t-shirt 
I love the way your hold your cigarette between your teeth
 I love the way you blow smoke rings into the violet sky 
doused with your *** and gasoline I will light myself on fire

glittering snow blanketing road ****
sit in front of the television
lick the cable static
it’s cold
you’re under my finger nails along with pill dust
you told me not to name the trapped wasps in between the windows
but i did it anyway
I gave myself stitches so you wouldn’t have to drive me to the hospital
my DNA would have leaked all over your car seats
I’m sorry I’m a cigarette burn in your clothes
I’m sorry ambulance sirens are my lulls