5 more minutes
I’d mumble
Wake up
Repeating
I’d mumble again
Wake up
Louder, a yell
Wake up
Wake up
A scream
Wake up
5 more minutes
I yell
I scream
An acquiesce
Because what’s 5 minutes
When you have your whole life

Let her sleep
she’d mumble
A sigh of muffled relief
Burrowed in a sweaty pillow
escaping to my dreams again
Where 5 minutes feels like 5 hours, 5 days
5 more minutes
I’d say half asleep
At 5, 6, 7
13
15
Wake up
17
Nobody wakes me up now
I awoke

At 22
I miss you
5 more minutes
I say to no one at all
I want to escape to my dreams again
You only live there
Where you stroke my skin
And nothing is wrong
And 5 minutes feels like a lifetime

I wanted to be reassured
And instead all my doubts
You secured
My worst fears were all true
You undoubtedly committed them into stone
With a sigh and a roll of your eyes


Now someone new
It’s easy to be easy
Honest
So anxious you can’t breathe
You agree

And maybe I’m learning from my missteps
My history of dishonesty
My lies I thought would keep me from crumbling
Yet all they did was build an unstable foundation

I refuse to believe this is all on me
You were mean
You snapped and snarled
I begged
I cried
For a whisper of the stars once in your eyes
I looked
I saw
Pools swimming with indifference
Clouds of emotion shimmering on the perimeter
You shut me out

I fell down
In the collateral
Of our ****** building
Stunned in the shambles
Of what I thought was
Staring at the pieces I taped together
Fooled myself into dreaming it was super glue

Awake at the floor of my ****** tower
Aghast in the debris
You float away
I am still shocked by this mess we made
Trapped within four broken walls
Crumbling at my feet
As we speak