I just want to be what you need
Who you want
In every way

I want to say so much to you
Act on my emotions
But
I always lose my nerve
What if you reject me?

I pick myself apart from the inside out

I know I have so much to give
And absolutely no one to give it to
Nobody wants a thing from me, that’s what makes it hurt so much

To read the words I’ve wondered about was beyond anything
Yes you physically is beyond amazing
But, for you to tell me that you’re thinking about me
To occupy any space in your mind is extraordinary

Maybe in a few years the fog will clear and I’ll be able to understand what we were doing now

Sitting next to you...
Filled to the brim with thoughts of you...
I know I’m sitting in a memory.

You noticed my piercings
I, noticed you

Where will I be this time next year?

Why does it feel like something is happening?
Something...
Starting
Again
I feel the thing I don’t want to feel
I lose everyone I feel for
How do I tell him that?

I hate feeling awful because of my stupid heart.

I’m just a Venus flytrap
The boys that love me only realize it a little too late

Can no one see the sadness in my eyes?
Am I just that good at masking it?
Or do they just not care?

I let my rage stew
It only ever simmers
It never boils over
Quiet rage is something I have mastered

I don’t want to think about you
You’re so confusing
But,
All I can do is try to figure out what you meant and what you want
You’re a cancer in my mind
Spreading
Overtaking

All of my issues are just below the surface
Veiled by a thin gauze no one dares penetrate

Life is too extreme for my delicate, tender sensibilities

Muse
Only for the amused
-Your Manic Pixie Dream Girl

I’m struggling
But I can’t tell anyone.

The harder I smile
The more I break

I’m a displaced box
Mislabeled
Contents read: okay
In reality they’re: fragile
Must handle with care

All of my pain is just a secret I keep to myself

You changed entirely from last Thursday
And I don’t know why
Maybe it’s for the best
A kiss from me is a harbinger of death

I’m just the scariest looking dog on the planet
No one will pet me

I think about you
Every minute
Of every hour
Of every day
I doubt I ever cross your mind at all

Congratulations!
You made me feel worse than I did before
Your mind games are impossible to navigate successfully

Last night I kissed you
The only place it could ever happen
In a dream

I’m so desperate it’s disgusting

What are we playing at?
Back at your apartment acting like we never slept next to each other for three weeks. Is it a defense mechanism? What are we afraid of? Containment.

Everyone keeps acting like it’s not a big deal
Like I’m just having a bad day
They don’t realize the thing in my head isn’t like a monster under my bed
It’s a relentless killer

I’m most afraid of love
I don’t want it to happen to me
The lover always becomes just another stranger to me in the end

I feel like I could sit and stare at nothing
Forever

My suffering is suffocating

The loneliness is killing me but,
Why do I prefer to be alone?

My heart aches all day long for a response from you that never comes

Would my friend genuinely care if I actually had one?

No one is ever going to care as much as I do,
And I hate myself for that

I’m so terrified of the answer, I’ve put off asking the question

It’s so much I don’t even feel anything anymore

I’m drowning in a world of pretending.
Is there anyone that can see through the façade and save me?

I was unnerved at how abrupt your truth was

I am all of the clearance
Unwanted and undesired
By you

I’m anticipating the night
My nerves are on edge
Will I be even more surprised?

My desperate need to please makes me substantially unstable

This day will have come and gone and nothing will be any different

The details are far too sad and pathetic to exist anywhere but my feeble mind

It’s finally the weekend
No more pretending
I can just sit and be miserable and alone in peace

Whenever I’m alone
I imagine being alone with you

I want it to be real
No more words on a screen
Skin to skin contact

Inferno
There is a fire ablaze within
Do I extinguish it?