Sitting on your bed listening to you go on and on and on and on about her
Why am i even here?
I know a part of you genuinely wonders what would’ve happened between the two of you if you would’ve been different
If you didn’t have an addiction
If you weren’t so “irrational”
Will i ever truly be first?
Will i ever really matter to someone?
Would you go back to her in a heartbeat? She’s in your dreams
Nightmares maybe
...thoughts
i am not alone in there
Up there
In your clouded mind

I have nothing to do and no one to do it with

We’re two different people
What did you want with me in the first place?

I think about all the things I could’ve said that would’ve been better

We don’t have conversations
I just try to keep you entertained
You always lose interest though

My fear of rejection and abandonment keep me isolated

I can only be myself when I’m alone
Why does no other human want to see the real me?

You say the most by saying nothing at all

Every notification I get that isn’t you is a twist of the knife deeper into whatever is left of my heart

Not everyone’s life is amazing
I live in the bleakness

Stressed and extra depressed

Inevitable first thoughts were right
We’re over before we begun
I’m not enough
Again
I’m alone
Lost a friend

I do nothing to numb the pain
I will need an outlet soon

I’m anxious
I’m nervous
I’m anticipating
You

I’m on edge
I don’t know how much or which feelings to invest if any at all
You could change your mind
You’re impossible to read

Are you going to be able to squeeze me in today or will you leave me high and dry like last time?

Higher and dryer than ever
Thanks

What’s the point in crying over something that never existed

I want too much from people that aren’t willing to give anything

The pain is more than a frequent visitor now
It’s a permanent tenant

I don’t know why I keep trying with you

You’re so far away
You’re not there
Even when you’re right in front of me
You’re unreachable

What am I?
Just another distraction on your list

I see myself alone
An uninhabited island

I think about you all day long
It only makes your rejection worse

Your life
Where do I fit in?
I don’t
Useless hope keeps me going

Reveal more to me

Why did you have to bother me if you were never going to bother with me?

Your words take me to a whole other dimension

I’m greedy
I want the entire moment
Not just the exquisitely delicious before moment where I fall

I’m now so far in...
Our kiss was a flame to gas

It’s a new day
I’m nervous
How do you feel?
Did it seem like a dream to you too?

It’s not fun to me unless I’m getting emotionally damaged

Saying your name...
A forbidden breath escaping my lips

Coming to the realization that no matter what I do or how I act or how I look or what I say
You won’t even remotely like me
Is
Gut wrenching
Earth shattering
Heartbreaking ...to say the least
I can’t make you like me
I’m not for you
No matter how badly I want to be

Without planning or words, you crossed the threshold
I, closed my eyes and surrendered to your kiss
An explosion of bliss

It was a mistake
You were a mistake

Your genuine conversation sends a wave of happiness that crests higher than heaven

Everything I’ve ever written about you
Forget it

Why don’t you like me?
What’s wrong with me?

I’m sure I’ll get tired of being used
Eventually
... never by you though

I’m 25
Never danced with a guy
All I want in this fast world, is a slow dance
With you

Where we can kiss
Where our hands race up and down each other’s bodies
Under the cover of night
Our darkest corner of the earth
Brings out our best light

Every night I see you I wish it would never end

It happened again today
In the afternoon
Our long conversation
You, leaning in to kiss me
Me, instantly forgetting every depressive thought
Us, just for a moment in time

Guys think I’m special
The one guy that I think is the most special doesn’t even think about me

I don’t need anyone
I just want you