I’m just a body to you
Warm holes to be used
Only when you see fit
Why don’t you like me?
What’s wrong with me?
You make me hate myself
Why did you hold my hand at the movies?
Why did you even start talking to me if you didn’t want to be in a relationship with me?
You uprooted my simple, blissfully lonely life
I’m mad at you for that
I’m so angry
You made me believe there was an ounce of hope for something more when you knew you didn’t have any feelings for me
Now you’re all I can ever think about
And you still couldn’t care less about me
I want to be your favorite
We’re under the same sky
We work under the same roof
I wish you’d want me around more
It happened again today
In the afternoon
Our long conversation
You, leaning in to kiss me
Me, instantly forgetting every depressive thought
Us, just for a moment in time
I need a sign
Beyond any shadow of a doubt
Guys think I’m special
The one guy that I think is the most special doesn’t even think about me
Coming to the realization that no matter what I do or how I act or how I look or what I say
You won’t even remotely like me
Heartbreaking ...to say the least
I can’t make you like me
I’m not for you
No matter how badly I want to be
Your heart is somewhere else
I have to get mine to understand that
Everything I’ve ever written about you
My memories of you, of us
Make my heart race
I miss having someone to make plans with
I miss having a date to look forward to
I miss the routine of a relationship
I don’t miss the raw agony they always end in
Why keep pretending I could be a fraction of anyone you’d actually want
We should just end whatever this thing we’re doing is
I wish I could disappear without a trace
Should I stop being so negative about you not liking me?
I don’t even know if you do or don’t
I’ve never asked
I’m too afraid of your answer
Maybe if I let in some positive hope something magical would happen
I’m not what you want
Especially when I know I’m what other guys want
But I just want you
Never danced with a guy
All I want in this fast world, is a slow dance
Who else do you talk to?
Are you making an emotional connection with them?
I had so much resolve to completely avoid you today
The instant you said something to me it instantly disintegrated
My feelings will always be unrequited
My heart quietly breaks because of you
Longing to be yours
Your mind is a minefield
I tiptoe around the danger
Where we can kiss
Where our hands race up and down each other’s bodies
Under the cover of night
Our darkest corner of the earth
Brings out our best light
What brought us together after 7 years?
You won’t want anything to do with me after you see her
It’s not fair
I’ll be discarded
Why are you all I can ever think about?
Am I stupid for feeling anything for you?
Do you have any feelings?
Do you feel anything for me?
The wondering is killing me
Should I tell you how I feel?
Regardless of how I know you feel
Would knowing you don’t like me hurt?
You’re hurting me
And you don’t care
Because you don’t know
I’m hurting me by not telling you
You make me feel like everything I ever say is wrong
Every night I see you I wish it would never end
Your unique rhythm
Took me four months to decipher it
I could listen to it for an eternity
Darkness for a month
Only letting in the smallest beam of light for a few days
I’ll wait a lifetime for your light
Without planning or words, you crossed the threshold
I, closed my eyes and surrendered to your kiss
An explosion of bliss
My fervent secret
I love it
I’d like to think I’m special
Something tells me I’m not
Free falling in limbo
Two days ago everything was so different
Now I’m dreading seeing you at work again
Things never happen how you want them to but they always happen how they’re supposed to
Your genuine conversation sends a wave of happiness that crests higher than heaven
I’m sure I’ll get tired of being used
... never by you though
Saying your name...
A forbidden breath escaping my lips
I give up.
I tell myself for the millionth time
I get your rotten, maggot filled scraps
I settle for them
Because they’re yours
When I’m with you
When we’re together
When your hands are on me
I have to pretend I’m not addicted to your touch
I have to pretend I don’t miss it every day
I wonder about what broke you
I know a piece of it lies in our pasts that are awfully intertwined
I’m sorry I didn’t tell you
I should have told you
If I could go back,
I’d tell you in a heartbeat
You make my heart beat
You make my heart race
Why do I choose to torture myself?
Why do I try to convince myself you’re any good for me in any way?