Look at me pretending I don’t like you
To anyone I want to matter to
Where will I be this time next year?
Last night I kissed you
The only place it could ever happen
In a dream
Everything I’ve ever written about you
Who else do you talk to?
Are you making an emotional connection with them?
Guys think I’m special
The one guy that I think is the most special doesn’t even think about me
I get a fraction of a ghost of you
You’ve stopped writing about me...
Maybe you’ve finally found the June to your Johnny.
Why do I torture myself with memories from my past?
The raw hurt is a normality now
Creating perpetual wounds
It’s always hurting
I don’t even know what it is
Our lips fighting greedily for each other
Gasping for oxygen
Only for the amused
-Your Manic Pixie Dream Girl
All of my issues are just below the surface
Veiled by a thin gauze no one dares penetrate
I’m a hopeless romantic masquerading as a heartless cynic.
I let my rage stew
It only ever simmers
It never boils over
Quiet rage is something I have mastered
Who am I kidding
I can’t believe I almost had myself convinced
You only mess with me because you can’t have her
When I’m with you
When we’re together
When your hands are on me
I have to pretend I’m not addicted to your touch
I have to pretend I don’t miss it every day
It’s not working out.
How do I break up with myself?
Please come visit me in my dreams tonight
I feel so stupid that I feel so bad because of you
Why am I even considering getting two movie tickets
Why on earth would you even go with me?
I wouldn’t even know how to begin to ask you anyways
I feel you miss her.
You say you love me.
It hurts regardless.
You make me feel like I interrupted your probably would be back with her relationship
My desperate need to please makes me substantially unstable
I cringe at all the parts of me you saw this weekend
I’m dumbfounded by your enigmatic, dual state
The thought of you a few towns over, thinking about me,
It’s almost too much for me to take in
What do you want from me?
I don’t think I’ll tell anyone
I’ll just go
I’m putting on a brave face
As your hand moves to my waist,
To my hip.
Scarred from Halloween twenty fifteen
Your left arm on display
I can only be myself when I’m alone
Why does no other human want to see the real me?
Every day I sit and stare
Letting the pain from our memories wash over me
And the seemingly endless tears fall
The loneliness is killing me but,
Why do I prefer to be alone?
You know that
Why don’t you reach out to me?
I should’ve pulled that trigger when I was fifteen
Saved the world from future me
All of the insecurities I wouldn’t have had to express
Saved eyes from seeing my Frankenstein nakedness
You’re taking up too much space in my mind
I know I’m not occupying any in yours
I have to delete you
I’m most afraid of love
I don’t want it to happen to me
The lover always becomes just another stranger to me in the end
What are we playing at?
Back at your apartment acting like we never slept next to each other for three weeks. Is it a defense mechanism? What are we afraid of? Containment.
I hate feeling awful because of my stupid heart.
People hit their quota of sadness
I just have to pretend to be okay
I’m now so far in...
Our kiss was a flame to gas
It’s hard getting you in such small doses
I’d almost rather not enjoy you at all
I had two breakdowns
The sight of your smile was the ease for my pain
The details bother me
I don’t know where your head is at
Tell me something that makes me feel special
I’m drowning in a world of pretending.
Is there anyone that can see through the façade and save me?
Your compliments make us almost seem real
I have to remind myself there is no us
The harder I smile
The more I break
What am I?
Just another distraction on your list