I don’t bother you about it because it seems to be the last thing on your mind
I, seem to be the last thing on your mind
Nothing means anything
I spend all day trying to distract myself with other thoughts
Thoughts that aren’t you
Thoughts that aren’t about wanting to die
I guess it’s sad
It still hurts to know that you just see my messages and ignore them
What did I do wrong?
Why don’t you even remotely like me?
Subconsciously locking my feelings away again
Trying to accept that I’m nothing to you
I don’t want to get hurt
I can’t get hurt
I know I won’t survive a next time
You’re getting too close to me
I’ll only disappoint
That’s what you told me.
What does that even mean?
I can’t change my feelings for you
I can’t force you to have any feelings for me.
I’m disappointed I can’t just be who you want enough for you to even want to try.
I don’t need anyone
I just want you
I wish I were different
Perfect-only through your eyes
My life is pathetic and meaningless
Who is she?
What’s her name?
What was she like?
Did she always say the right thing?
Why do you still love her?
Why can’t you love me?
Every guy sees my soul
Every guy...except for you
I look at myself all the time
Trying to find whatever it is people see in me
I get a fraction of a ghost of you
I feel so stupid that I feel so bad because of you
I’m just a body to you
Warm holes to be used
Only when you see fit
Why don’t you like me?
What’s wrong with me?
You make me hate myself
Why did you hold my hand at the movies?
Why did you even start talking to me if you didn’t want to be in a relationship with me?
You uprooted my simple, blissfully lonely life
I’m mad at you for that
I’m so angry
You made me believe there was an ounce of hope for something more when you knew you didn’t have any feelings for me
Now you’re all I can ever think about
And you still couldn’t care less about me
I want to be your favorite
We’re under the same sky
We work under the same roof
I wish you’d want me around more
It happened again today
In the afternoon
Our long conversation
You, leaning in to kiss me
Me, instantly forgetting every depressive thought
Us, just for a moment in time
I need a sign
Beyond any shadow of a doubt
Guys think I’m special
The one guy that I think is the most special doesn’t even think about me
Coming to the realization that no matter what I do or how I act or how I look or what I say
You won’t even remotely like me
Heartbreaking ...to say the least
I can’t make you like me
I’m not for you
No matter how badly I want to be
Your heart is somewhere else
I have to get mine to understand that
Everything I’ve ever written about you
My memories of you, of us
Make my heart race
I miss having someone to make plans with
I miss having a date to look forward to
I miss the routine of a relationship
I don’t miss the raw agony they always end in
Why keep pretending I could be a fraction of anyone you’d actually want
We should just end whatever this thing we’re doing is
I wish I could disappear without a trace
Should I stop being so negative about you not liking me?
I don’t even know if you do or don’t
I’ve never asked
I’m too afraid of your answer
Maybe if I let in some positive hope something magical would happen
I’m not what you want
Especially when I know I’m what other guys want
But I just want you
Never danced with a guy
All I want in this fast world, is a slow dance
Who else do you talk to?
Are you making an emotional connection with them?
I had so much resolve to completely avoid you today
The instant you said something to me it instantly disintegrated
My feelings will always be unrequited
My heart quietly breaks because of you
Longing to be yours
Your mind is a minefield
I tiptoe around the danger
Where we can kiss
Where our hands race up and down each other’s bodies
Under the cover of night
Our darkest corner of the earth
Brings out our best light
What brought us together after 7 years?
You won’t want anything to do with me after you see her
It’s not fair
I’ll be discarded
Why are you all I can ever think about?
Am I stupid for feeling anything for you?
Do you have any feelings?
Do you feel anything for me?
The wondering is killing me
Should I tell you how I feel?
Regardless of how I know you feel
Would knowing you don’t like me hurt?
You’re hurting me
And you don’t care
Because you don’t know
I’m hurting me by not telling you
You make me feel like everything I ever say is wrong
Every night I see you I wish it would never end
Your unique rhythm
Took me four months to decipher it
I could listen to it for an eternity
Darkness for a month
Only letting in the smallest beam of light for a few days
I’ll wait a lifetime for your light
Without planning or words, you crossed the threshold
I, closed my eyes and surrendered to your kiss
An explosion of bliss