I guess...
We’re over?
It was nice to feel wanted
While it lasted

Can I kiss you again?

I can’t imagine you saying you want me
But there’s nothing more I want in this world

Moderately here

Please come visit me in my dreams tonight

I’m hurting
You know that
Why don’t you reach out to me?

Just say you need me

You’re never there when I need you

I had two breakdowns
The sight of your smile was the ease for my pain

I have the possibility and opportunity for it
The only thing stopping me is the thought of being next to you
Sharing space and breath

I’m scared
What are you doing?
How could I ever change your mind?
Please don’t do it
Please don’t go

Wide awake with worry

I worry about you every night
I’m relieved when I see you in the morning

My mind is selfishly, unrelentingly strangling my will

I agonize over the few mundane interactions we’ll have today
I want more

You to me-
A death blow

My head and heart are strangers now

I don’t think I’ll tell anyone
I’ll just go
Peacefully

I don’t want it to hurt anymore
I’m having those thoughts again

You don’t think about me at all
It should hurt more
But it’s what I expected

The details bother me
I don’t know where your head is at
Tell me something that makes me feel special

I can’t imagine you, thinking about me
I can’t imagine me, not thinking about you

I want someone that I want and that wants me back

My nothingness to you is nothing new to me

Seeing you waiting there
For me
Nothing compares

Look at me pretending I don’t like you

I’m going to bed
With you on my lips

Nobody knows
That makes it more exciting

I cringe at all the parts of me you saw this weekend

It’s excruciating to just see you
I need to feel you

I’m microdosing
You’re lethal
You have no clue

I want someone to notice you’re happy
I want them to point it out to you
And I want you to realize it’s because of me

Your compliments make us almost seem real
I have to remind myself there is no us

Your validation feels like what I’ve needed my whole life

I want to know what’s in your head
I want to matter that much to you

I wonder how badly I’ll hurt myself this time
I can’t feel special just because we’re going through the motions

Going to the last marker
Skipping all the usual in between
Excluding my feelings is odd
I love sharing the time and cramped space with you
I hope you somewhat like me
I just want you to think I’m cool
It’s barely the beginning
I’m already scared about the end

Our lips fighting greedily for each other
Gasping for oxygen
Set ablaze

It won’t hurt my feelings
I don’t have any left

Turns out
I’m nothing
To anyone I want to matter to

We’ve skipped a few steps
Now we’re in limbo

Your lips on mine
My hands on the back of your neck
Your hands on my back
My dream becoming reality

I’m a walking corpse
Your kiss was the only thing that made me feel alive again

I think about you too much
I want you too much

I’m dumbfounded by your enigmatic, dual state

My soul has been through enough
You might disintegrate it entirely

It hurts so much more knowing I’m being purposefully ignored

What walls do I have to break through to get to you?
Will you even let me attempt to try?

It’s not fun to me unless I’m getting emotionally damaged

It’s a new day
I’m nervous
How do you feel?
Did it seem like a dream to you too?