Why haven't we ******?
Guess it's just my luck.
Never taking what I think is handed to me.
Too deaf to hear too blind to see.
Caution my play pin I like to say put.
We will never know till we know.
Can't stop on red always on the go.
Maybe not so fast.
Maybe I'll come in last.
Chasing the burning sting that is too corny to say.
Found it in a barn.
Who would have guessed it'd farm?
Used to have eyes bigger then it's space.
They'll never understand why he was sent away with a case.
Walked away to jump into the same pile of burning hay.
Was he lost or found?
Did he make it safe and sound?
Was the case alright?
Did anyone cry that night?
Now his body donated to the naughty will finally get what it wanted.  

Casual ***, not so perplex, never has to be a next, or an ex, just ***.

How can you hate with a smile?
Looking into their eyes all the while.
Yet you claim to despise,
The presence of him.

Makes me sick,
That you would twist,
Your own arms,
Just so you can see over the crowd.

Afraid you'll get too hot standing up alone?
Not aware that not everyone is a fan of your moan?
****** me off,
How you all hate.

Now abate.
Or don't feel at all.

Ran my mouth for hours,
wrote tons of ****** "poems".
Thought I was just so much better than everyone else,
but **** we're just all here.
Not going to lie,
I've changed since I last wrote.
Ya I found a girl,
but man I've just broke down.
Started to numb myself,
Can't even tell if I'm wearing a frown.
So out of it,
and I never want to be in.
I'm just so hungry,
but the last thing I want is to eat.

At least I'm cool now though.
I'm cool.
Cool.

Nothing has happened but everything has changed,
Today was easier than I planned.
Lay in bed with my studies, music cheering me on,
I've dropped the crutches, I wanted to stand.  

Keep making friends, keep jamming in names,
Remembering jokes and information day by day.
Always smiling and being friendly,
Never being too tired to play.

Fool all my friends to think that I'm cool,
Waving to people while playing bass late at night.
They offer me all kinds of things,
Guess I'm just not about that life.

Eye contact with strangers,
I've got that bounce in my step.
8 AMs, whatever man,
Don't want to dull my optimistic rep.

People ask what I'm on,
Question how I can believe.
I turn to them and simply answer,
"I really like to breathe."

Had a girl, everything was great.
Got me into ***** **** I'm sure some can relate.

Then one day she left and claimed everything we had was gone,
Broke my heart to know I was so wrong.

She'll move on to her future living it out and forgetting the past.
But I know that I've made at least one impression that will last.

Cause I was her dom and she was my slave,
She loved feeling like **** and enjoyed what I gave.
Too bad I smiled just a little too much cause now she ran away.

Poor little girl, she just couldn't handle it anymore,
Flinched and cried out at everything, I'm disappointed in my mohawked *****.

Maybe she scared herself how much she liked being abused,
I only did it for her I swear, I didn't even know that pain and love for me had fused.

But she's gone now and I can't drag her away,
A room all to myself and she doesn't want to play.

Cause I was her dom and she was my slave,
She loved feeling like **** and enjoyed what I gave.
Too bad I smiled just a little too much cause now she ran away.

Oh love, you know better than anyone else what goes on behind these eyes.
Whenever you're around I just can't look away you, I stare at what was once mine.

She couldn't match my stride and I left her behind,
Didn't even try to catch up she made up her mind.

And it's sad to see her fall so far,
Became something she didn't want to be at all.

Cause I was her dom and she was my slave,
She loved feeling like **** and enjoyed what I gave.
Too bad I smiled just a little too much cause now she ran away.

My dreams won't leave me alone,
Sheets bind and blind as I am tortured in my own home.

Images are whips that slash into my mind,
Blood corrupts good dreams to the twisted fabrication that distort time.

Dreams will always keep me hoping that I will find them true,
They will never cease reminding me that I love you.

Sit on my stool,
Next to me in my head.
Don't ******* touch me,
Eat this quicksand.
Need to wash it down?
Have some water.

Funny feelings fight each other,
Mind can't up it's bed.
Thoughts like saliva drip from my tongue,
Words I know that can't be said.

Freaking out around my room,
Banging into walls for fun.
Begging for that wrapped feeling,
Arms, rope, I don't care,
I want the voices to agree.
But hey, it's someone to talk to.

Too many sides of a story,
Everyone lies.
You are all guilty,
If you know of this crime.

Eyes close shut dreams take me hostage,
Tortured with "what if?,
I never comply,
Let the past die,
If it's not a good dream it's a nightmare,
Go away.

"What about the prisoners sir?"
"Execute them all.
Don't need any refugees,
Denting parked cars."

He screams,
He claims,
That Jesus,
Has died in vain.
He swears,
And declares,
Words of his god,
Saying he is scared.
Scared of the devils,
That house our kingdom of sin.
Calls us the ignorant ones,
Says none of us will really win.
He hates,
And remembers the date,
The death of his lord's son,
Mourning his savior's ****.
I wanna get away,
From the lava he spews,
Burns all the non-believers,
Better catch up on old news.
Not a preacher a police man,
Violently whips those who are unjust,
Never stopping,
How ironic,
Screaming "In God We Trust".

How can I make a move,
When I don't know where the ground is?
Jumping into darkness into the unseen.
Hate that I wait here,
Waiting for light.
Color a pathway,
A bridge through the night.
Unsure of the kiss,
I knew I would miss,
If I didn't get the hint.
But being scared of the dark,
Has never payed off.
A torch, a lamp, a nightlight please.
Take me to a place unseen.

I'm no beast,
I found peace.
Locked myself up,
To avoid the feast,
Won't eat,
Deserve no such food,
If no one else will punish me,
I'll do it myself.
Don't need you,
I barely need me.
My mind exists outside my body,
I'm free.

I'm an animal,
In search of what I want.
Broke from my cage,
To get what I should have got.
Take what I want,
Scream if I please.
I am the master and slave.
No one will tame me.
I need you,
Because I lost sanity.
I exist for the touch and live for the scream,
I am free.

Follow me!
Through the woods!
Chase the animal,
That you know you could,
Keep yours eyes on the prize,
But a pair to watch your ***.
If you aren't careful,
I'll have you at last.
Came up from behind,
Took you by surprise but you smiled at me.
We are both animals,
We are both free.

Eskimos always die gloriously,
Killing fat ***** in the Arctic sea.
Swear I saw one with a whale's eyeball on his thumb,
And he just screamed at me.
Asked "Boy what's the matter? Can't you **** like me?"
I frowned and said I rather be dead than **** your gentle enemy.
Made a home of ice,
Don't need a fridge.
I live in the Antarctic,
Where ****** is gigantic.
But who here cares of it now,
So far away from all of us.

You, yes you.
I feel so bad.
You lost the ability,
To love what you had.
Not one complaint,
You just fell away.
I feel bad for you girl,
You should have stayed.

I was great for you know,
We had it quite down.
But you ****** up,
And I don't know what to do now.
You left your master,
And got a new host.
You think he hurts as much as me, but think back to before college,
Bet he hurts you at April level at the most.  

You forget the sting,
You forget the taste.
I don't mean to scare,
But I'm so lonely in this place.
You know I have control and I'd never hurt you so,
Give yourself back to me and let our animals take over.
Let's sort out our feels through fighting, and get it all cleared away,
We'll claw and slash and bleed more for each missed day.

I know it's a new year.
I know you don't plan to be here.
But I swear I still have some space left in your mind,
The space that wonders what we could be if you gave me the time.

Sexually driving,
It's almost a given,
For all the boys,
My age.
Yet I feel so perverted,
Twisted and distorted,
In my own way.
My lust for love,
A starving coyote,
Chasing something too fast.
Each day without love,
In this barren desert,
Brings me to the last.
Hard to chase,
Something that never stays still.
Hard to enjoy a party,
When you know,
That you will pay the bill.
Easy to fall freely,
Into the nearest set of arms.
Easy to forget,
That even poisonous snakes,
Can be charmed.

In the desert,
Endlessly dry.
No water in sight.
Except that...
Mirage.

I'm proud to be a narcissist,
Because during times like these,
More people hates themselves,
As they get down on their knees.
Few appreciates the strength.
That comes from inside.
Many of them lie weakly down, beaten by life,
While some like me enjoy the ride.
They all predict,
The same simple idea.
That life will kick in in the ***,
And kicks harder each year.
We say **** that notion,
You gotta kick back twice as hard.
We're completely full of ourselves,
We know who we are.

Head hurts,
I don't know her.
Water never flows,
Behind curtains,
Just rocks.
My chair rocks,
Back and forth,
Left and right.
Why am I never right,
And always left behind?
The trees,
The trees,
The trees will not sneeze,
But bless everyone.
For paper will be printed,
Burned and defiled,
Can't be trained,
To be wild.
My head hurts,
But why ask questions?
Dieing and breathing aren't choices,
Can't drown yourself without,
The help of a rock.
The movies play on,
While I am stuck in the ground.
A zombie with one brain in mind,
Will get it sometime.
My head hurts...

Realization through dehydration,
Sadness is so sensitizing!

When I own the sadness,
It's a depressing madness.

When I see sadness on your doorstep,
I couldn't be more glad you guys met!

Sadness is relative,
And is all one of our relatives.

We all share the feeling,
But on others it is peeling.

When I see it on some though,
I laugh till I know,

The sadness.

No touch,
I listen.
Barley feel,
The wrath you bring.
I do not abuse you,
In any way.
No ****,
Just love,
And respect,
In my own peaceful way.
You like to lead,
Then lead away,
Can't expect your slave to
Jump into your lap,
So come to me,
I want to be your sap.
****,
I am a fool,
But please,
Hold my leash
I am yours,
Take it or...

I go down the rows,
I see the prizes behind glass.
Can't even take them out,
All I have to do is ask.

Mom always told me,
Don't touch what's not yours.
So I glace,
Though cracked doors.

I want, I want, I want,
The prizes taunt, taunt, and taunt.

All I need to do,
Is break the glass.
Risk ruining the prize,
For a bit of ***.

Looks so perfect,
Kept behind walls.
Would it answer me,
If I gave it a call?

Can't be like you,
No one can.
Distant star out of reach,
Not many even knew.

But I stand here an island,
Hoisting up your flag.
Saluting a man I never met,
Wanting to be in a band.  

So many dreams I've seen,
They overflow my thoughts.
Imaging I am sitting alone in the dark,
Remembering my life as I scream.

But not wanting to take back,
A single moment gone through.
Running naked in the forest,
Adding more stories to my stack.

So many journeys accomplished,
And a thousand more to go.
Hungry for the entree,
Yet I only can have the side dish.

You inspire me much like a sun inspires a light bulb.
I shine bright in my room, but will never light...the world.

Our love was made in China,
Outta of the sparks rose a fire,
Now we're all burning,
For that love we've been yearning,
That love that started the fire.

Who can call it love,
If we've only got a taste.
The words on the tip of my tongue,
In my ears that laugh stays rung.
In opposite directions we race.

Didn't push me off,
Seemed it enjoy it all.
But at least we have that day,
Where you and I played.
No one can break that wall.

Our love was made in China,
Outta of the sparks rose a cloud of ash,
Now we're all cold,
From that love we've been told,
That love that stayed dead at the site of the crash.

Odd zoo animal,
Let him in my house.
I was only trying not to be a ***** *****,
Now he wants to get hitched.
Such a creepy craving mouse.

Gave to him a gift,
I was his first kiss,
He was fine but I wanted more,
So awkward he couldn't handle a *****.
But please go on insist.

Our love was made in China,
Outta of the sparks rose a column of black,
Now we're all empty,
From that love we've held gently,
That love that stayed at her house and won't ever come back.

Knowing sadness,
It is easily done.

To live life in the grayest shade,
To have removed the pleasure of fun.

Anyone can see it,
As you lay your head down.

Surrendered to sorrow,
Sad songs are so renown.

Others will fire questions,
Though you assume they are far off.

Dart boards made of water,
Can never hold back the darts.

No idea what is wrong,
You swear you were smiling the whole time.

Why does everything feel so wrong,
What paused the song on which you rely?

I don't get birds.

They fly in Vs,
Squawk their needs,
Bother the rich,
Bother the poor,
Looking for nourishment,
Swear they aren't ******.

I don't get birds.

Seem to follow me,
Looking for something,
They will never find.
Stupid birds,
Don't waste your time,
Fly away.

I don't get birds.

Birds mess with your head,
Call out your friends,
Wish you were dead,
Because of all the ****** birds.
You can shoo and say ****,
But it will take more then that.

I don't get birds.

You **** one,
But more come.
Oncoming waves of self destruction,
Where's the fun?
Stop your pestering,
I don't understand any of you.

I don't get birds.

Why make lines?
To separate and divide?
To choose a side?
For a wall to hide behind?
Why make lines?
Is it to criticizes?
Or to falsifier,
The notion of compromise?
Why make lines?
Is it the circle you deny?
Refusing to give me a slice a pie?
Forcing a goodbye?

Line maker,
You are no artiest of mine.
Line maker,
I see you have not dulled your eraser.
Line maker,
Wasting our time.

Why make lines?
Why choose sides?
Why divide?
Why say I died?
Line maker,
You can't separate that which connects all of us into one class, kingdom, and religion.
That is time.

I'm the worst ******* human being in the world.
****** and taking,
All that I don't deserve.
Stepping on friends' hands,
To boost me up.
Hypocritically shouting,
At those who have had enough.  

He is all that is evil,
In every ****** up way.
The actor who stars in ever single play.
He plays the lines so beautifully,
So fall for his trap,
He'll tempt you in bed,
While you are trying to take a nap.

Do on to you as have been done to him,
But he'll do it harder,
And bruise your skin.
His shackles are breaking,
But he locked himself down,
Holds his sanity with a tight grip,
Until the next time you come around.

Locked in the dark,
Dressed in fear,
Looks like Death,
Smells like a beer.

Chambers loaded,
Prisoners in cells.
Ready to die?
Do you hear the bells?

Fire out each one,
Into the man's chest.
Please smile when you do,
Give the man my best.

Chambers invented,
To hold them in.
Just to be released,
Into the wind.

Flying through the air,
Flying like they're free.
All a lie,
They follow straight line called destiny.

They will be nothing more,
Then killers in capture.
Kept inside the chambers,
Until comes the rapture.

We're bonding after losing you,
We both really care.
We know you've a rough time,
And want you to know we're there.
Our love for you may be dormant,
But it can still wake up.
Ring the bell, and call us to arms,
Your back is what we've got.
We've seen you twist and change,
Into all these shapes.
You don't need to create forms for us,
We'll take you and soothe your hate.  
We love you,
We'll never really stop.
Me and her know you too well,
Or is that something you forgot?

Resting on my cross,
Moss crawling it's way up.
Interrupt, crows break the silence.
Ever since my mouth has become sown shut.

That image of the woman,
Has been stuck inside my head,
Dread, that sudden realization,
Migration impossible I am tied to a cross.

Around me is grain,
Pain of blandest stings my eyes.
Sunrise is coming,
Running to me she smiles.

Fixing my coat she picks at the straw,
Caww caww, she mocks the crows.
Oh that smile warms me,
Please stay here.

All done now she leaves with a hug,
Tug on my cross I want to wrap my arms around her.
Brrrr winter's breeze blows by,
Goodbye sunrise.

Night falls upon my space,
Taste, the crows all swarm me for salty tears,
Years of torture the crows pick me apart,
No heart, no courage, no brain.

Just the pain of the cross.

Controlled with words,
Leashed to some stranger.
Third wheels so expendable,
Away from it all in the back.
Staring into the streetlights,
The thoughts run past the open trunk.

Who knows what you did to me,
To make me lose all hope.
Yes it's a sad ******* poem,
No it doesn't rhyme.
I'm listening to mellow music,
In the back,
Of my car.
Waitting to leave this parking lot.

Just leave my life and stay away,
Can't play this confusing game.
I've got everything to lose,
And only one thing to gain,
I know I will misplace it,
**** all this pain.

I pretray a man of excellence,
But I just am I boy waitting in the rain.

I should be done.

Wake up kiddo,
Please take a seat.
Preferably in the back,
Where you were conceived.

I ****** your mom so hard,
Half in anger and half in love.
She couldn't seem to pick a side,
Now she smiles on us from above.

Sacrificed it all,
To bring you into this world.
And I can understand why,
You're such a beautiful girl.

I hated her for leaving,
I loved her for wanting to stay.
I hated the way she was forced to choose me,
So many others left astray.

You really are a gift,
She looked just like you.
Stunning, small, and smart,
I loved her too.

A fault turned blessing,
But a curse in disguise.
You took away the love of my life,
Replaced her and stole my eyes.

Hand and hand I'll raise you,
With no one else in this home.
My little beautiful baby girl,
Us alone in this starving world.

Ever walk into the dark hoping you'd get grabbed?
Ever held a knife's blade dreaming of the stab?
Visioning all that's wrong,
And all the ways to make them right.
Staring into the night sky waiting for the first glimpse of light.
Suddenly the light hits you,
The moment you look away.
Reveling all the scars,
Reminding you of the old days.
Each one of them was painful.
Each one of them made me smile.
Now I wait to be finished off,
Covered in oil,
Ready for the fire.
When I ignite my eyes will be on the night,
Standing there motionlessly on fire.
The unending pitch black night sky won't look as bad,
As the smoke raises higher.

This is my revision of the dark,
Picture a fire in a park.
Peaceful,
Indifferent,
Ignored by all.
A child watching,
Holds her doll.
And in her eyes,
There is the sun.
And the revision,
Has begun.

It must be nice,
Having someone to look forward to.
A friend to call your own.
Daydreams of perfect afternoons.
You and your friend in a blanket cocoon.

I have I no such visions,
For I have no one to call my own,
Only hoping to catch table scraps.
My moods are seasons at high speeds,
For each change I undertake I require new needs.

I can't even recall such a time,
When I looked forward to someone who is mine.
But still I can't help but to feel fine.
Guess I don't mind the melancholy,
Suits me I find.

Push a button,
Ding ding ding,
Watch all,
The wheels,
And gears,
Spin.
The evil,
Sin sin sin,
Greedy *******,
Smoke,
The hope,
Away.
Never stays,
For nature.
Plays and plays,
There is no cure.
Smoke,
Sin,
Greed,
And lust,
Burn them all,
That's a must!
Don't forget,
The missionaries.
Their words,
Of Armageddon,
And hate.
All kindle,
For the,
Fire.
Burn,
The once,
Wooded land.
Melt all,
The gold.
How come,
Sitting,
In one spot,
Never seems,
To get old?
Burn it all,
Purge the land,
Join me,
As I take,
Shots of sand.

When I lay in my bed,
Alone in the dark,
You enter my head.

Questions raise,
But every time,
The answer sinks so much lower.

I can't help it,
By the simple gesture of pushing me into traffic.
That most call life.

I was but a small child,
In physical,
And state of mind.

Did it bother you?
Maybe, maybe not,
Seeing that you went right to it.

I am hypnotized,
I want to snap out.
Desensitized to the thought of us.

Then after,
No words.
Hurt.

I tried to reach you,
But you turned the other way.
Are you not sure, or am I just not welcome to stay?

So I see you around,
From time to time,
And what do I do?

I invent my excuses,
And stay away from you.
But unfortunately(?)

This is not goodbye.

Can't you see all of the ****,
Gathering at the bottom of the pond?
Slowly gathering,
All sin, plague and harm.

Let it all drown there,
Leftovers for the fish.
Eat it all up,
Before you go on their deep dish.

After which we will eat,
And gain the evil we fed you.
Taste of our own medicine,
What's worse we aren't even insured.

Hindsight came too late,
Right after I finished my plate.
Now everyone is falling over,
As my eyes start to close.

I fade away as I float away,
Going down down down,
Then I realize what I am,
I am the **** that drowned.

Sitting in the dark.
A screen of white in front.
Scrolling through page by page,
Reading every kind of font.
Eyes bloodshot,
Hunting for what I want.
The information spiderweb,
Has claimed another heart.
Searching for all the knowledge,
That I will ever need.
Read, read, read, the things others have wrote.
Who knows who made it, or who knows the notes.
Rocking back and forward typing all the words,
Barley looking at the screen now,
Just at my keyboard.
The dark hides the keys,
But my fingers know their way.
Playing the keys before me,
Mind spewing out words,
The lettered jacks dance,
Now you all know what I say.

Tower stacked high, attacked by lies.
Foundation hurt, young giraffe's, growth spurt.
Unstable yet, eloquent.
On stilts above, the ants.

Doesn't even, crush them now.
He just, stands there, and laughs.
I know, that we both,
Are unstable, tables, on there, last leg.

But do you, realize,
If we lean on, each other,
We are stronger,
Then we both think?

We could be, a tepee,
To house, the rats beneath.
Blowing kisses and, protecting them,
From anyone elses' stink.

You might not, go for it,
I understand.
I've seen you, stand alone and strong,
With no one, holding your hand.

But I do, love your touch,
Sorry to, creep you out,
You know, I always have the, best times,
When we, hang out.

But please, pay me no thought,
If you have indeed found the happiness you have sought.

I will wander on.

If plants can overgrow,
Then we as a species are obese.
Leaves make trees more beautiful,
But fall has rid us of all of them.

We are a rotting tree in winter,
And our demons live inside.
Hibernating the fear and angst away,
Since they can't afford to hide.

Everyday we pray,
No groundhogs will be afraid.
So spring can spring upon us,
And feed our many roots.

But Mr. Groundhog,
Doesn't show up.
All he does is paint sliver linings,
And keep our hopes up.

With the sun keeping spring a secret,
That only fools know.